Nowadays, it is not common for parents to scold their children, but some parents may intentionally or unintentionally inflict “cold violence” on their children, causing physical and psychological harm no less than scolding. The “cold violence” in homeschooling is generally in the form of parental indifference or threats and intimidation of children. Specifically, the following seven situations. 1, do not care. Wuming in foreign companies doing public relations work, usually very busy, back home a word do not want to say, the son’s warm greetings also love to ignore. These days, the family found that the child is becoming less and less talkative. Nowadays, many parents, because of the pressure of work, are negligent and indifferent to their children and do not pay attention to their spiritual needs. Over time, it is easy to lead to the child’s personality isolation, do not get along. It is recommended that parents incorporate communication with their children into their schedules, using mealtime and bedtime to talk to their children about school and what they have seen and heard. 2. Disrespect. Many parents love their children, but not enough to respect their children’s privacy: children’s rooms want to enter, drawers are also openly “check”. Other parents do not respect the personality of the child, in public to reveal the shortcomings of the child. In the long run, children will become unconfident and insecure, and when they grow up, they may have no opinion, deliberately cater to others, and may go to the extreme of rebellion. It is recommended that parents pay more attention to the child’s emotional needs, respect his choice; children make mistakes can not take personality, to discuss the matter. 3, misinterpretation. Wang Xia usually always feel that colleagues and friends look down on them, others a look or a word, she will guess for a long time. The occasional unpleasantness between friends, others turn their heads and forget, but she can not let go. Later, the psychiatrist said that it may be that Wang Xia was often misinterpreted by her father when she was a child, causing her to have a psychological disorder now. Many parents do not want to listen to their children’s explanations, but according to their own thinking misinterpretation of the child. For example, the child broke the cup, the parents indiscriminately scolded, but did not know that the child was looking at him sick, want to pour him a glass of water to drink. Always be misinterpreted motives, the child will become too sensitive, affecting future relationships. It is recommended that parents do not measure their children on an adult scale and give them the opportunity to speak. 4. Expect too much. Many parents take their children as their “face”, expectations are too high, and often criticize their children for being useless. With high expectations, children tend to become sensitive, timid and timid, lack of self-confidence, poor independence, lack of initiative, not good with others. They are emotionally unstable, prone to low self-esteem, and in severe cases, even depressive symptoms. Parents are advised to trust their child more and give him the opportunity to decide his own business. 5.Overprotective. Bebe is now in high school, and his parents are worried about his Internet access and early love, so they pick him up and drop him off every day. Usually see classmates also have to be “interrogated” half a day, Bebe is very distressed. Many parents are overprotective of their children, which may lead to poor social adaptability, lack of independent thinking and creative consciousness, lack of initiative and poor mental capacity. It is also easy to have confrontational behavior. It is recommended that according to the age and characteristics of the child gradually let go, give the child a moderate degree of freedom and trust. 6, old comparison. Zhou Yi always likes to compare “other people’s children” with her daughter. But she increasingly found that her daughter is not happy to go to parties with her, and even if she reluctantly goes, she does not like to talk, and hides to the side. Comparing oneself to other people’s children is the most common form of cold violence in Chinese families, and it tends to make children feel low self-worth and even autistic. Children may also deliberately antagonize leaders and good colleagues as adults, affecting interpersonal relationships and even creating a lifelong shadow that is difficult to get out of. 7, the threat. Xu Lin often says to her son, “I don’t want you!” In her opinion, this is a psychological tactic to deal with the child’s stubborn behavior. “The child is still young, reason with him also do not understand, intimidation, threatened no harm.” However, such threats can lead to a distant relationship between children and their parents, and they may also become cautious and afraid to take risks in everything when they grow up. It is recommended to change this educational philosophy and communicate patiently with your child.