Every family has its own unique way of education, from free and open democratic parenting to strict and unbiased parenting like “Tiger Mom”. Each parent has their own way to prove “100 points” education, but now, we seem to be confused: why is it that after all the work, we are still not getting better? What is a “100-point” parent? Although different parents have different aspirations, the common characteristic of “100-point” parents is that they make that aspiration so strong that it causes pressure on their children and themselves in one way or another. Typically, we see three types of “100-point” parents. Perfect Parent: 100% Self-Demanding As the name implies, this type of parent has a high level of self-control and management skills. They have high expectations for their work, career, and family, and they practice perfection in all areas. Parents who fall into this category are likely to be the best in their field and are highly regarded for their achievements. Their own excellence does not equate to their children’s excellence. When a parent’s halo is too large, it can become an insurmountable obstacle to the child’s growth, just like a shadow is always cast behind a strong light. Especially when faced with unpredictable and ignorant comments from others: “Look at your mom/dad, she’s really good, you should learn from your mom/dad”, it can become a source of hurt for the child. For the child, the parents become competitors who must be compared as they grow up. But young and weak children are not yet capable at the stage, and the gap between desire and reality can easily lead to low self-esteem and resentment. If the parents not only do not notice, but also blame the child for being a loser, it will be more detrimental to the child’s physical and mental development. Authoritative parents: demand 100% of their children If perfect parents are the kings of self-control, authoritative parents must be the kings of child control. This type of parent must have very high expectations and aspirations for their children, and just like the perfect parent who demands that he or she not be defeated, the authoritative parent instills in their children the mentality that they “cannot admit defeat”. The most representative scenario for the authoritative parent would be, “Why didn’t you get 100 points again?” . There is a saying that “love is deep, hate is strong”. However, parental love here becomes a frustrating knife that polishes the child into a negative and tired state. Authoritative parents turn education into demands and commands, and the child becomes their henchman, focusing only on the results and not on the process. Children who are ignored and have no way to interact with their parents are reduced to pawns to carry out their parents’ demands, so when they reach adolescence and have the ability to resist, they will no longer be attracted to their parents’ oppression. However, contrary to parental expectations, children may be more likely to indulge in bad habits because their parents’ persistent and persistent demands make them resentful of being asked, and therefore more likely to choose things that will give them short-lived pleasure. Nanny Parents: Give 100% to their children Compared to the first two types of parents, nanny parents must be the most “selfless” parents. These parents love their children more than they love themselves, and sacrifice their personal time and job development to devote themselves to the cause of building their children’s healthy growth. They take care of their children’s lives and food, and those who are able to do so even use all the conditions to pave the way for their children’s future. The most fatal problem with this type of parenting is that it deprives children of the right to grow up on their own. The value of life is in the process of experience, and if everything is met as soon as it is needed, much of the fun can be lost. There is a joke that vividly describes this: A man met an angel after he died and the angel asked him where he wanted to go. The man said excitedly, “I wish to go to heaven and have everything I want and no more worries.” The angel granted his wish, and whatever he wanted he got. But soon he felt bored and begged the angel to put him in hell. However, the angel said, “This is hell. The pressure to be perfect makes parents so overwhelmed that they forget the original intention: to love their children. In fact, as long as there is a love for children, moderate pay, you will be full points. 1, set an example, lead by example: everything you ask your child to do before you reflect on whether you can complete, you must do everything yourself in order for your child to have a good example to imitate and learn. 2, to ensure that the time spent with the child: accompany and listen to as an indispensable process of growth, to be able to achieve good physical and mental communication with parents, instantly without the many enlightenment classes, interest classes, children can also develop a harmonious personality charm. 3, do not compare, do not compare: everyone has their own talents, so there is the saying of teaching according to talent, do not have to be overly nervous about whether the child will lag behind others. On the contrary, if there is already adapted to good education methods, parents should have greater trust in their children and themselves. 4, parents also have the right to be angry: in addition to excessively adverse to the growth of children’s bad emotions should not be vented, parents also have the right to express their own wishes and feelings. This makes it easier for children to form empathy and learn to care about the emotions of others instead of focusing on their own world. 5. Avoid empty and useless demands: Children are just starting to try new things, and it is basically impossible to reach their parents’ ideal goals all at once. Parents’ encouragement and their own involvement can spark the child’s interest so that he or she can love and work for it from the heart. Parents, like children, are in the process of figuring things out. Rather than the pressure to be perfect, enjoy the process of growth with your child, because after all, only love scores beyond measure!