Have you ever thought that your unconscious actions and words can have a profound impact on your child’s future? The child’s character and behavior habits are actually “learned” from the parents. The ten childish words and actions of parents affect the future of their children, parents hurry to self-check it! 1, always ask me aunt grandmother pro, or mother pro? Some mothers find their children emotionally dependent on the nanny elderly, not without jealousy. The performance is to pick on the nanny’s behavior in front of the child, or ask the child to make a choice: is the mother pro, or aunt grandmother pro? Viewpoint: A dedicated nanny cannot replace the role of the mother in the growth of the child. A busy mother should ensure that she has 45 minutes to an hour of contact with her child every day, when she should turn off her cell phone and immerse herself in the innocent environment that her child provides for you. 2, always say I’m not as good as the next child 6-year-old dot one day finally choked the nagging mother: “You want the neighbor’s sister upstairs as a daughter, I also want the aunt upstairs as a mother, the little sister’s mother is much prettier than you!!!” Mom’s face couldn’t help but turn white. The mother has a heart to see her son become a dragon and a daughter become a phoenix, but the side of the comparison side of the blow to the child, fundamentally is slowly destroying the child’s self-confidence. 4 years old children, if always listening to the mother said they are not as good as the neighbors and colleagues of a child, psychological pressure will increase, will have the fear of being abandoned. 3, always say that this is also not allowed, that is also dangerous Always take the newspaper child abduction or poor care of children injured and disabled examples to children, over time, the child may become a complete and utter TV children, see strange guests greeting also do not play, hiding in their own small room does not come out. The idea: Instead of being overprotective, it is better to set a few basic principles or let your child know a few tips for self-protection and then boldly let go and let your child experience freedom in the widest possible range of activities. 4. I hope all my friends are top students Qing Qing describes her mother this way: My mother always hopes that all my friends are top students who can play piano, swim, play badminton, and win prizes in drawing competitions. Mom was disappointed when she found out that my best friend was only an average student. “If my mom hadn’t changed by the time I turned 15: I wouldn’t have told her what kind of friends I had made. Is this the kind of communication blockage that mothers expect? Viewpoint: The more utilitarian mothers want their children to make role model friends, believing that only when they make friends who are stronger than their children can their children gain something from them. Think about it: Are all your friends better than you in terms of education or career? A interesting friend may be impressed by his understanding, his witty and funny, and so is the child. 5, never squat down to watch ants move with me A Taiwanese best-selling author said, “My daughter gave me another chance to experience childishness. She called on moms to squat down and restore the instincts of children to see the world from a child’s point of view, a world with more wonderful details than we adults can appreciate. So don’t ridicule some moms for wearing the same cartoon pullovers as their sons and daughters of a few years old, ambling around in the grass catching grasshoppers, or yelling over the winding of a kite, it’s all a sign of a child’s heart.” The most boring mother in a child’s mind is the one who, when you call her to see a rainbow on a soap bubble or a legion of moving ants, takes one look and says indifferently, “Why do you always pay attention to such meaningless things? Have you played your piano? Have you listened to the English tapes? The most important way to open your child’s heart is to play with your child, just like Ali Baba’s cave, you read the right mantra, the door to your child’s heart will open. 6, too like to watch long TV soap operas Pei said she hated her mother watching long soap operas, and her mother stopped playing with her once she became addicted: “Once we went to the amusement park until 7 o’clock at night and I still refused to leave, so my mother threw a fit. I knew she just wanted to go back and watch the serials. I’m really sad, does my mom value watching TV more than me?” Viewpoint: TV-obsessed moms always think they’re at home long enough, but to their kids, she’s not there at all. Therefore, the expert’s advice is: the family should set at least two days a week off TV day, the family read, talk or play together; weekdays when the TV is on, it is best to turn on only one TV set, the mother should choose TV programs and children to watch together, you can also take the children to watch circus, magic, music TV, and children to exchange views on TV programs, so that the activity of watching TV evolved into a platform for parent-child communication. 7, absolutely refused to eat a little loss Sweetie in kindergarten activity class, was behind the rain accidentally pushed down from the slide, rubbing his forehead. It was just a false alarm and a Band-Aid could be applied, but after her mother found out she had to take her child to the hospital for a full body checkup. Sweetie was dragged by her mother to the children’s hospital and was given a large list of laboratory tests, accompanied by Rainy’s parents, and the attitude of both sides became increasingly delicate. When leaving the house, Sweetie finally complained in a low voice: “Mom, you’re so embarrassing! “The mother is a little confused: “Who is ashamed? Isn’t reason on our side?” Viewpoint: When we complain that children nowadays are becoming more and more self-centered and do not know the word tolerance, we must first examine ourselves: as mothers, we give our children a tolerance for the great example of teaching? Letting go of the child to deal with conflicts between partners, the future of its interpersonal skills, will have great benefits. 8, speech does not count things, now 6-year-old Xiao Xin no longer believe that his mother will take him to Japan Disneyland promise, his mother is a person who does not count his words. As a result, when his mother was angry at some of Xiaoxin’s actions and vowed to punish him, Xiaoxin was also full of indifference that his mother would forget, “She didn’t even take me to Disneyland, so how could she remember not to let me watch cartoons this week?” Viewpoint: Always play the promise card of the mother, its starting point are right. However, moms who find excuses for their broken promises make the positive excitement of the promise disappear step by step. If a mother always looks for objective reasons for missing a promise, her children will also look for excuses for what they can’t do, instead of looking for their own reasons and never apologizing or reflecting on themselves. What kind of consequence is this? 9, to my friends than to me more affectionate at home after a birthday party, 5-year-old Yang Yang refused to invite the same class of children to a Christmas party, “because last time mom cut the cake to the smallest piece to me; took more than thirty pictures, only two for me. Mom said, that is the courtesy of hospitality, and said I was stingy”, Yang Yang covered his ears and screamed, “Anyway, I never want to come home to play again, other children come, people become the sun, Mom special around people, I hate Mom!” Viewpoint: It is a unique psychology of young children to consider their closest mother as their own patent and not allow their mother to show closeness to others (including their father). Mothers need not feel overly worried about this. The first thing you need to do is to take a look at the website. 10. A mother who is too fat, or, a mother who is not trim 4-year-old Bebe asks strange questions every day, for example, she will ask her father, “Why do you still want to marry her if mommy is so fat?” Mom and dad look at each other, do not know what the little girl’s ghost mind is thinking. Another example is that before going out, Bebe would remind her mother, “Why don’t you wear lipstick, mom? Why do you always wear jeans instead of a skirt?” The mother was so ashamed that her face turned red, and behind her back she said to her father, “Is it true that only beautiful and handsome men are worthy of being Bebe’s parents? I’m not even old yet, and my daughter thinks I’m ugly.” Viewpoint: Children generally want their mothers to have long curly hair, wear skirts and be praised and envied by their little ones, which has nothing to do with their feelings for their mothers. You can also ask for his opinion more often: “What color dress do you want mommy to wear?” If you change yourself occasionally according to your child’s wishes, the atmosphere between parent and child will be more harmonious, and the child in turn may change his or her habits according to mom and dad’s wishes. This is not a bad thing.