The child is very afraid of greeting people, every time he is asked to greet someone, he purses his lips, while shrinking back, while hooking his eyes to look at his mother and father, not to say or not to say. You stand aside, afraid of offending the other party, feeling embarrassed, feeling that you have not taught your child well, you can not help but begin to reproach: “Children can not be so rude ……” You feel depressed: “really unfair It’s fair, why are other people’s children so lively, self-effacing and pleasing to the eye, and your own children are so unenlightened? Are you born with a love of greeting or not? Research has found that people’s personalities are both inherited and acquired by the environment, and it is difficult to say which of the two is more important. Children who are naturally more fearful are usually able to comply with adults’ requests and shyly whisper “hello auntie”. But the more introverted and sensitive personalities are wary of strangers, and often have to go through a painful internal struggle to be friendly and open to a stranger they have never even met. If your child doesn’t like to say hello, perhaps you should reflect on this: did you inherit it from the couple? When either of you were young, were you also afraid to greet strangers? Maybe it’s not all your child’s fault that he or she doesn’t like to say hello. Fear of life is the child in self-protection! In fact, a child’s fear and shyness of strangers is an innate ability to protect themselves. You must remember that your baby was fine to be held by anyone until he was five months old. But around six months of age, all of a sudden, except for the mother (the primary caregiver), it seems that he does not like anyone, and whoever holds him, he turns his head and cries. We usually use the term “stranger anxiety” to describe this phenomenon. The vigilance developed in early childhood is an innate ability of infants to protect themselves, and through that ability they gradually learn to distinguish and trust others. Many adults ignore this observation, this “security” process, when leading a young child to the first person he meets. What worries the child is that before he can react, the stranger will be very close to him, touching his head and patting his face. If you were a child, how would you feel? Blaming the child for not saying hello? Whenever I hear adults say this about children, I always feel so uncomfortable. Having been a child, and now working with young children, I know what it’s like to be told by adults that they have “no manners,” which is a kind of shame and frustration. The shame is that you are not good, not sweet; frustration is that you do not do well, let adults down. And all of these feelings have to be pulled out in public and in plain sight at the same time. So says a Taiwanese doctor of education. As an adult, I feel bad about being humiliated in public, so why do I have to impose the same pain on my children as a parent? The child is still so young, really tolerate it? The harmful effects of public humiliation of children 1, so that the child produces a sense of guilt: not recognized, and hear adults repeatedly say they are rude, he will produce a sense of guilt. 2, hurt the child’s self-esteem: verbal attacks will hurt the child’s self-esteem, making him feel small, worthless and ashamed. 3. Possible avoidance of feelings later: The biggest effect of hurting a child’s dignity is that the child feels that he should not face up to his thoughts, emotions and feelings.