“Mom So-and-So, your child is fighting with someone else!” “Mom, so-and-so’s classmate grabbed a toy from me today and we fought.” In life, it is inevitable that your child will have friction or conflict with other children. As a parent, what should you do? Handled well, it can help the children to turn their differences into peace, continue to be friends, and also avoid the same thing happening in the future; if not handled properly, it will bring negative impacts to the children’s future and even their whole life. Today, we will discuss how to deal with conflict between children. 3 Common Attitudes of Parents in the Face of Child Conflict What do you do when your child is in conflict with another child? Here are 3 common attitudes, see which one you are? The first is to defend your child. Sometimes it seems to be a fight, in fact, the child thinks it is just playing, but some parents are glassy-eyed, think their children are being bullied, directly characterized as “bullying” or “conflict”, and rise to the level of “quality and upbringing”. “The parents who are blamed are sure that their child is being bullied. At this point, the accused parents will certainly not be happy, thinking that the other side is making a big deal out of the protection of their own children’s emotions, but also not willing to show favoritism and defense. A defense and intervention will not only intensify the conflict between the children, but will also give the child a wrong example, leading to the child’s cowardice or arrogance, is not conducive to the development of healthy socialization of the child. The second is to take care of the other person’s face and blame your own child. For example, if a friend brings his child to your house, and the other child wants to play with your child’s favorite toy, but your child doesn’t want to let the other child play with it, so there is a fight, and finally the parents stop it. At this point, if you say to him, “Why are you so mean, let so-and-so play!” This will make the child feel that his parents don’t value his emotions and he will look helpless and angry. The third one is to motivate the child to resolve the conflict on his own. There is nothing inherently wrong with children solving their own problems, however parents need to consider the actual age of the child. Before the age of 3, the child does not have social communication skills, he is not capable of solving the problem by himself. So when a conflict occurs, parents are the ones who need to intervene in a timely manner to ensure the child’s safety, and at the same time help the child recognize his emotions and instill simple social rules. Toddlers between the ages of 3 and 6 have some communication and social skills. This is the time to focus on guiding your child to express his emotions, understand social rules, and let him think more about solutions and positive actions. After the age of 6, you can encourage and guide your child to solve social problems by themselves. How to deal with your child’s social conflicts? So what should parents do when in the event of a social conflict in their child? We have some suggestions that you can refer to. 1, first of all, to calm the child’s emotions. When a conflict occurs, children are often angry and impulsive. Their heart beats faster, their faces are hot, they can’t think clearly at all, they want to hit someone, they want to drop something, or they say something hurtful. You need to understand your child’s emotions and let him feel that you are in the camp of his emotions rather than on the opposite side, so that you can better follow up communication. 2.Encourage your child to recount the incident and let him or her state the reasons for being angry and recognize and express his or her emotions. 3.After understanding the incident, you have to help your child analyze the problem. Discover and analyze the emotions of both sides of the conflict and guide your child to try to think in a different position. “If you were him, what would you think and what would you do?” Cultivate your child’s “empathy”. “Empathy” does not require children to forgive and understand each other’s behavior, but to understand each other’s emotions in the conflict, distinguish right from wrong, and find a better solution. 4. Encourage your child to turn thinking into action. If it is your own child’s problem, ask him to learn to take responsibility and apologize. 5, when the child himself to deal with social conflict, the same first to let him stay calm, with the other party to maintain a certain safe distance, you can listen to the other party to understand what the other party really want, rather than intensify the conflict. Try to stop the argument with humor, such as “I don’t want you to catch my cold,” or give a reason “If we continue to argue, both will be criticized.”