Love, not just for love of you, but also for love of me. Parents want to give their children the best, but rarely let them know how hard they work behind the scenes. Parents do housework every day and work hard in the hope of providing a better living environment for their children; after five days of hard work, on weekends, they have to accompany their children to the park, buy school supplies and clothes at department stores, and do things that their children like to do; when their children are sick, parents stay up all night with them, worry all night, and still get up in the morning to prepare breakfast for their children and find classmates to chat with them. However, parents rarely tell their children how they feel in all this, and rarely tell them that parents also need to be understood! When faced with their children, parents see their children, but ignore themselves! So, when the child looks at the lunch box that the parents have worked so hard to make, frowning and grimacing, the parents say at most: “There is nothing to pick, just this thing, love it or not!” At this point, the parents ignore the lack of good intentions ignored and aggravation! As a result, children only see the “mom and dad really do not take me seriously” feeling, but did not find the parents behind the hard work. When a child buys snacks or daily necessities and pays for them without looking at the price, the parents may say, “How will you manage your own finances in the future like that?” At this point, the parents neglect their own labor and frugality. As a result, the child only sees that “Mom and Dad just don’t want to buy for me,” but does not see the parents’ desire for the child to manage money wisely and be appropriately frugal. Letting children understand themselves is actually helping them grow Perhaps many parents think that taking care of their children is their job, and that if they tell their children about their difficulties, the children will worry too much about their parents’ pain and impropriety. However, by doing so, parents can deprive their children of the opportunity to learn to give back and be grateful! Some parents think that they still need to talk about everything they do for their children? Do not want to let the child have too much to worry about; and do not want to pass their unhappiness to the child, so that the child feels like a burden. It is just too ideal for parents to think this way, and conflicts between parents and children are inevitable. When the conflict arises, parents hope that their children can understand themselves. It is a contradictory psychology. When there is a mental grievance without saying it, the parent’s face and expression will reveal the inner dissatisfaction, if not expressed, it will make the child do not know how to face. When parents can’t help but express themselves in an inappropriate way, it really makes the child feel that his parents are rejecting him. When a child’s behavior has an inappropriate impact on the parent, or the parent’s state affects the child, parents who can clarify the situation to the child in an appropriate way, and give the child the opportunity to know that their behavior has some impact, or to be able to do something about the parent’s situation, these are actually helping the child grow! If a child sees that the changes they make bring comfort to their parents, they will learn to take care of others’ feelings from these little things and learn to express themselves in this way. Later on, they will be able to express their feelings in the same way and be understood by others, rather than being threatened to immediately attack others, which is a great model for children who are used to violent problem solving! In many years of family relationships, I have seen many children who were defined as “selfish, inconsiderate, and not taking rules seriously” show a great desire to cooperate and a sense of satisfaction afterwards when their parents ask them to help. Every child is born with a desire to help others, but parents just don’t give their children the opportunity in time! Of course, parents can’t ask their children to understand themselves every time they are upset; after all, parents need to satisfy and take care of their children, not children to satisfy and take care of their parents. How can you keep your emotions from overriding your child, and get your child to understand you better? Parents need to do three things: (1) use appropriate presentation skills to invite their children to understand their situation; (2) use appropriate presentation skills to tell their children what they can do to help themselves; and (3) understand their own internal dissatisfaction and what can be resolved through their relationship with their children and what should be resolved on their own. This will reduce unnecessary stress on the child.