“Food and drink, male and female, the great desire of man exists.” –The pleasure of men and women as one of the human instincts has always been an ancient and mysterious topic compared to the other human instinct of eating. Today, in the twenty-first century, with the opening of society, the integration of Western and Chinese culture, although the restricted area of sex has long been opened, however, “sex” is often a mysterious, difficult to say the word, and even just shut the door to the room after the lights out, “a flurry of hands and feet The “sex” is often a mysterious and uncomfortable word, or even just a “flurry of activity” after closing the door and turning off the lights. The free preconception health care services for more than two years, each pair of recipients of services will have I left them a consultation phone, but I answered the phone today Ping, the mood for a long time can not be calm. Since the frequency of sexual life is one of the bases for infertility diagnosis, this issue is often addressed when asking for medical history. Ping told me on the phone that her husband felt that there was a problem in their relationship as a result of my advice to increase the frequency of sexual life during preconception counseling, and thus asked for a divorce, hoping that I could help mediate. Could it be that I was doing a bad thing with good intentions? After reviewing their medical records, the frequency of their sex life was recorded as 1~2 times a month, and he was advised to increase the frequency in order to ensure the successful completion of the conception plan. Further understanding of the original they met and fell in love when they were working in the field, the frequency of sex was normal, and after the marriage back to Shanghai and the man’s parents live together, because they feel inconvenient, and gradually reduced, which has nothing to do with emotional problems ah! Through telephone communication and explanation with the man, he only told me that there are other aspects of the reason, not willing to further explain. This left me with a knot in my stomach. Since I came to do preconception checkups, it means that I have already considered the issue of fertility, so why did he suddenly propose divorce? Was there a problem with my counseling skills? Or are there really other problems between them? I really sympathized with Ping and felt a lingering sense of guilt. As a preconception health practitioner, I hope that every couple that comes to me will be happy and harmonious. I will continue to work hard to communicate with Ping’s husband a few more times, but hopefully from a physician’s point of view, I can be an old maternal uncle. The ability to have sex can be affected by psychological, ethical as well as physiological and pathological aspects, and situational hypersexuality may be one of Ping Ping’s problems. I recall that more than a year ago, during a follow-up visit, the woman told me that her husband had given up his plans to prepare for pregnancy because he had developed erectile dysfunction shortly after being found to have poor semen quality during a preconception test, and had similar feelings of guilt at the time. However, through patient follow-up and guidance, the male partner has now successfully conceived for more than 4 months after actively cooperating with the treatment. These two cases remind me that as a preconception health practitioner, it is not enough to have relevant medical and psychological knowledge, but also to master and apply good counseling skills, and to have a sense of responsibility and a sense of mission. Lily and Zhenming’s confusion Lily and Zhenming are both young adults, they were originally subordinate to each other and decided to get married after working together for two years. Both of them usually spend their thoughts on their work and business, often working late, and seldom spend time to go out on a date, at most they go to a restaurant to have a good meal on the weekend. The wedding night, Zhe Ming sexually excited, but Lily is in Zhe Ming arrow on the string, about to try to shoot when the pain, followed by tightly closed legs, by Zhe Ming words of love, good advice, Lily reluctantly tried twice or not, and finally only asked her husband to give up, another day to fight again. As a result, they never had vaginal intercourse in the first six months of their marriage, but mostly Lily used her hand to jerk off for Zhenming, or had oral sex with each other to reach orgasm. They spent most of their evenings continuing to discuss their unfinished business during the day. It wasn’t until one day, when his in-laws were talking about when they would be able to have a grandchild, that Zhe Ming realized the seriousness of the situation and took Lily to an obstetrics and gynecology clinic. It was at this time that they got the free preconception checkup issued by the street, and they came to my clinic with the idea of trying to solve their fertility problems through medical methods first. In addition, Lily herself was overly misguided by the concept of “first night pain”, thus forming an extreme fear of painful sexual intercourse, and despite the hymenoplasty, the vaginal spasm caused by tension still prevented them from completing normal sexual intercourse. After nearly 3 months of training, Lili finally got rid of her fear of pain psychologically through appropriate psychological counseling and guidance on the use of small to large vaginal dilation molds of different sizes to gradually make the vagina tolerate the stimulation of dilation. At the same time, it was recommended to adopt the active female position, so that Lily could be fully prepared psychologically when she tried it officially, which finally solved another big problem. The first sexual experience for most women is the key to enjoying sexual pleasure later. If the first sexual act, the other party in the operation of foreplay is not enough or too rough, in the case of women are not ready to put the penis into the dry vagina at once, will certainly cause women a lot of pain. Of course, if there are infections in the vagina (such as trichomonas, mycobacteria or bacterial infections), inflammation of the uterus, endometriosis or other physiological disorders that can also cause painful intercourse, seeking early treatment from a doctor can help you get rid of the pain as soon as possible. In addition, there are a few women due to congenital development, the hymen is thicker, not easy to puncture during sexual intercourse, and even after repeated sexual intercourse remains intact, naturally will also cause painful intercourse, this situation to ask the physician to make a simple hymenotomy will be solved. The acquisition of food to enable individuals to survive, and sexual satisfaction to enable human society to reproduce, this is certainly one of the most simple truth; and from the modern scientific biomedical point of view, sexual behavior is not only to bring orgasmic pleasure, good sex life is still an important way to prevent disease and fitness, prolong life; from the psychosocial point of view, a large number of surveys also show that: people with active and active sex life, less Anxiety, less violence and hostility, less complaints, less blame for misfortune and unhappiness on others, and therefore less conflict and tension with people in the relationship. Sexually satisfied couples are satisfied with themselves and with the people around them, and they bring this positive and good feeling that they share with their spouse into all aspects of the world they live in. In this sense: to enjoy “sexual” happiness is to enjoy life. Two quotes from the literary master “Lawrence” are even more revealing: “Sex and beauty are the same thing as fire and fire are the same thing. If you hate sex, you are hating beauty.” “Sexual fires are the source of beauty and the source of misfortune; they burn unconsciously in us, but just like real fires, they burn if our fingers accidentally touch them.”