Nowadays, with the popularization of early childhood education knowledge, more and more mothers realize the importance of accompanying their children, and in order to better accompany their children’s growth, a large part of them resolutely make career sacrifices and quit their jobs to become full-time mothers. For some full-time mothers, full-time companionship does not bring the expected results, the children’s problems are not less than those of working mothers with children, and sometimes there are even more difficult problems, such results, so that the mothers who spend so much time with their children can not help but wonder: is not the first few years of the child’s life best by the mother herself? Why is it that after making such a big sacrifice, there is no expected report? What exactly is the problem? In fact, it is not surprising that there is no research to show that a mother can bring up a good baby with good physical and mental health as long as she is present, but full-time mothers need certain conditions to bring up a good baby, and if full-time mothers fail to do so, their babies are still prone to such and such problems. So, what are the conditions needed for a full-time mother to bring up a good baby? Here is a combination of cases to talk about this topic. A, with the right way Case 1: Kun Kun mom is a very fashionable after 80 mom, like to play microblogging play online games to watch Korean dramas, the beginning of pregnancy and childbirth, she accepted her husband’s advice, full-time home birth baby, leaving behind the pressure of the workplace, and the fun brought by the fat baby, Kun Kun mom feel happy to be a full-time mother, but at the same time she was embarrassed to find that the trouble of losing work for her It is not difficult to quit the TV, computer and cell phone, but it is not so easy, often during the day when she is playing with the baby, she can not help but pull out the phone to play games and microblogging, or watch favorite TV shows, and at night after her husband came home, father and son began to enjoy the joy of family, she can not help but open the computer to play a pass, otherwise the day always feel like something is missing. “I’m a full-time mother, even if I steal time to play, I have more time for my baby than a working mother, so there is nothing to worry about”, every time Kun Kun’s mother can’t help but play with her cell phone and computer to watch TV, she will reassure herself like this. However, despite the fact that Kun Kun’s mother does give more time to her child than the average working mother, after Kun Kun went to kindergarten, he still slowly came out of the maddening problem: separation anxiety is particularly serious, after more than six months in the garden, still can not adapt to kindergarten life, sending him to the garden in the morning often means a struggle, teachers also reflect that he can not sit in class, like to hit, sometimes see the teacher’s Sometimes when I see the teacher’s phone in some place, I will secretly take it and play with it …… Analysis: Because of the irreplaceable emotional link between mother and child, for the growth of the child, the presence of the mother is certainly more important than others, but more important than the presence is the way the mother accompanies, if the mother can’t be fully present with the child, absent-minded If a mother is not fully present with her child, is distracted, or even neglects her baby because of playing with her cell phone, computer and TV, it is not only easy for her baby to feel “abandoned”, which is not good for them to build up a sense of security in the world and be afraid to face the outside world independently, but also easy to be directly and indirectly influenced by the negative behavioral habits of her mother. For example, children who learn to play with their mother’s computer and cell phone often have their eyesight development easily affected, not to mention that they are often accustomed to the high-frequency flashing high-intensity sound and image stimulation, so it is difficult to be interested in the relatively static classroom learning and books. If the game TV has some inappropriate content for children, such as pornography and violence, the child’s behavior is also susceptible to further influence. Therefore, accompanying is not the same as being present, and the way the mother accompanies is more important than simply being present. The first thing you need to do is to be able to take care of your child. The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good idea of what you want to eat, and that you have a good idea of what you want to play. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to its customers. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers. The lack of parenting knowledge will not be compensated for by full-time companionship. On the contrary, if you have the passion to be a good mother but lack the corresponding parenting knowledge, the negative impact on your child’s growth cannot be ignored, as As early childhood education expert Li Yue’er said, “Chinese parents are generally divided into three categories: the first category both know how to educate and have a sense of responsibility, their children are easy to become talented; the third category of parents do not know how to educate and have no sense of responsibility, their children are also easy to become talented; the saddest is the second category of parents, do not know how to educate but have a sense of responsibility, they occupy the majority, the failure of children Most of the failed children are made by these parents.” Full-time mothers who have love for their children but do not know how to raise them are prone to give love in the name of love that violates the laws of physical and mental development of their children, including the ones mentioned in the case, such as giving what they want, taking care of them, and not daring to let go. This kind of love can easily bring up the “Ping Ping” in the case! The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good idea of what you are doing. In order not to let Sweetie lose at the starting line, she quit her high-paying job and became a full-time mother, taking Sweetie to and from various early childhood classes from about four months onwards, sparing no expense and not being afraid of the hard work of running around, as long as Sweetie could be better than her peers in various skills, her heart would float with joy. The actual fact is that you will be able to find out more about the actual actual situation. However, the painstaking efforts of Sweetie’s mother did not bear fruit, and the Sweetie she had worked so hard to cultivate seemed to go against her, not only resenting the various interest classes she had arranged for her, but also not interested in learning at all, and even a little disgusted, and what made her mad was that the parent-child relationship between the two The two of them are often at loggerheads over the matter of learning, and very often Sweetie doesn’t even have the desire to communicate with her, and once when she forced Sweetie to play the piano, Sweetie was angry and scratched her, and her arm was scratched with big blood marks, and Sweetie’s mother really wanted to cry …… Analysis: For the early development of children, the psychological development gets The reason for this is the fact that it is very important for the mother to be able to support the child’s psychological development through the irreplaceable mother-infant link, rather than being an educator who is eager to instill various knowledge and skills into the child. On the one hand, physical and mental health is the basic of children’s normal development, if we ignore this premise, more energy will be put into it, not only will we get half the result with twice the effort, but also children will easily have such and such developmental problems due to unsatisfied psychological needs, such as various emotional problems, parent-child relationship problems, sensory coordination problems, etc. Moreover, some of these effects may continue into adulthood, and some children who suffer from deprivation or trauma in the early psychological development process will suffer from various negative effects as adults. Some children with early psychological developmental deficits or traumas suffer from a variety of negative early experiences as adults. On the other hand, if the concern for children’s learning affects the closeness and consolidation of parent-child relationship, it is very normal for children to have frequent conflicts due to the fact that “a close teacher can only believe in his or her way” and it is very difficult for children to listen to their mother’s education if they have a distant relationship with her. Therefore, a full-time mother is not the same as a chaperone mother. Putting too much effort on the child’s external achievements while ignoring the child’s more fundamental psychological development needs is tantamount to creating obstacles to the child’s sustainable development. In a word, loving a good baby does not depend only on the sacrifice of time, but also on the wisdom of parenting. “Full-time” accompaniment is not a sufficient condition for a good mother, but the right way to accompany, love the right method, and seize the focus in order to give the child high-quality accompaniment, and guide the child to a healthier growth.