As a psychiatrist, I often look for phenomena or behaviors that seem commonplace to others and sometimes find messages and meanings associated with mental illness or mental health. In this article, I would like to discuss my views and perceptions of what parents call their children by their “nicknames”. An important process for Chinese people at and after the birth of a child is to give the child a name. Generally, the name of a new life is often two, one is used for household registration and as a symbol of reference in their social circle when they grow up, which is the big name or school name; the other is the maiden name or nickname that family members, especially parents and elders, use verbally. Historically, due to poor health care, frequent natural disasters and rampant military and banditry in China’s vast rural areas, the death rate of children was surprisingly high, and people often believed that supernatural forces were at work, either because they were fated or because they were haunted by ghosts and monsters. For this reason, many people believe that the child to take an unpleasant little name, you can avoid being ghosts and monsters “miss” and easy to die. Such as in the northern rural areas, many boys called dog leftovers, dog eggs, two eggs, dogs, iron eggs and other small names that are difficult to enter the hall of elegance, and since childhood, people call regardless of the occasion, some children even to formal school parents remembered to give their sons a “big name”. Of course, in addition to the meaning of this layer of prevention of premature death, parents of the children of these small names called and gradually out of the intimacy and even love of taste. And, some parents since the child took a small name, used to have been called the small name, sometimes only when the child naughty “trouble” after the head of the parents will be solemnly shouted at home to reprimand the child’s name. Some parents call their children by their nicknames even after they have grown up, either out of habit or out of affection, constituting an atmosphere of affection that may be unique to Chinese families. Although China’s rapid industrialization and urbanization in recent decades have led to the decline of the old agricultural culture, the tradition of giving children nicknames has not become dusty history. In many places, people are still accustomed to give their children nicknames, but these nicknames no longer have the same meaning as in the past, only the expression of intimacy and affection. Because of this, the “dog leftover child” that used to be difficult to get into the hall of fame has also evolved into “baby”, “bebe”, “good boy “, “little girl” and so is full of love meaning of the little name. Moreover, many parents who have given their children such small names are still accustomed to calling them by such small names when the children grow up, even at home or at school, in front of outsiders or among relatives on these different occasions, all call their children by these sweet little names, so that the children are full of shyness in front of outsiders, a dilemma. Obviously, at this time, parents use this sweet little name to call their children hurt their self-esteem, sometimes become peers to make fun of them, sometimes will become the reason for peers to despise them. Even, parents who keep using such sweet little names for their older children also imply a distrustful and disapproving attitude towards the child’s maturity level, which also makes them feel uncomfortable. I think, in the child’s early years, to take a small name, called a small name is not a big problem, but the use of a small name to set a “validity period”, that is, limited to the early years of the stage. Since it is “milk name”, “small name”, as the child grows up to not eat milk, at least have a relatively independent of the parents’ ability to survive and social activities (at least not later than school age), as parents should take the initiative to stop using the child’s small name, and instead use The parents should stop using the child’s nickname and call him by his school name and first name. The significance of doing this is first of all to indirectly express respect for the child’s independent personality and affirmation of the child’s social maturity, and also to avoid calling the child by his or her nickname on inappropriate occasions, which may bring about obstacles to his or her interaction with peers. More importantly, calling a child by his or her first name implicitly conveys the responsibility of adults who also use first names: you have an equal and independent status in society, just like us, and you have to take on the responsibility that is commensurate with your personal abilities. In my own clinical work as a psychiatrist, I have seen many parents of patients who still refer to their adult children by their “sweet” nicknames, regardless of the occasion. I often hear parents say things like, “Baby, you have to tell the doctor why you’re not feeling well, you hear me?” Or, “Niu Niu, this doctor is very nice, you have to tell him what you want, okay?” Whenever this happens, I remind such parents to learn to address their children by their first names to show respect for their independent personality and membership in an independent society. In a similar vein, I have also seen parents who are accustomed to calling their children by their little names in my presence engage in behaviors and actions that resemble those of a comforting toddler to an already grown child. For example, a mother who had no qualms about standing next to her son, who was almost an adult, with a face full of “pimples” and a shaggy beard on his temples and upper lip, while he was crying to the doctor about his depressive experiences, cradled his head on her chest. There are many parents who do not care about the difference between their adolescent children and their own gender, and who caress their children’s cheeks and heads as if they were still toddlers, regardless of the occasion. I also tend to remind the parents of my patients that such behavior is harmful and unhelpful. This is because such behavior conveys the same disrespect, distrust, and disapproval of the child’s independent personality and membership in an independent society. Ask, can a child whose independent personality is not respected by their parents, whose independent social membership is not recognized by their parents, and whose independent capacity to act is not trusted by their parents, develop good self-esteem, full self-confidence, and a sound personality? If their personalities and abilities are not respected and trusted by their parents who raised them and know and love them so much, how dare they expect to be respected and trusted by others? Therefore, for parents, giving their children such love and affection that is not appropriate to their age does not help to increase their social adaptability, but also undermines their self-esteem and self-confidence, and is perhaps one of the psychological bases for their mental illness. I just want to cry out here: Parents, please refrain from using nicknames that lead to excessive intimacy with your children.