As children grow up, mothers will find that their children will use the “hitting” method when they get along with other children or interact with their own mothers. A seemingly simple hitting action, but behind the scenes there are many issues involved. So, why do children hit? Let’s explain the psychological mechanism behind children’s hitting by age. In fact, when a child raises his hand for the first time and makes a “hitting” action, the psychological reasons behind it are not complicated. Specifically, the psychological mechanisms behind hitting are differentiated by age. Stage 1: Before talking, hitting attracts parents’ attention Children hitting before they develop language, especially when they are around one year old, is a way for them to get your attention by “hitting”. Because he can’t speak, he wants your attention especially when his hand movements are already well dominated, so at this time, he can use hand language to tell you, “Mom, I need your attention. Stage 2: 1-2 year olds hitting is a way for them to express their emotions Many children hitting at this stage is him showing an emotion, which is not always negative, it could be a very exciting emotion. Therefore, you will understand why there is a word called “hand-waving”. This is what happens when a child is happy. However, children don’t have any concept of boundaries yet, and their hand strength is not yet well developed, and they don’t have any weight, so they can lose control and hit you. And you will indeed think that your child hit someone. Of course, sometimes, if the child’s emotions are angry, then the “hitting” may also be an expression of anger. Slowly, when the child’s needs are not met or responded to by the parents, and possibly when the parents refuse to do what they want to do, the child will initiate the “hitting” behavior. Stage 3: Hitting after the age of 3 is a sign of insecurity for the child. For older children between the ages of 3 and 6 or 7, their hitting behavior is more a sign of insecurity. That is, the child desperately wants, parents can be with him, to see him, to feel his presence. So, this time adults should not be on the line about the child’s hitting behavior. For example, some parents may feel that the child has a tendency to violence and must be managed properly to do so. Little do they know that for the child, at this time, the physical sphere that the child can control is also his hands, his arms, his legs. He is using all the power he can use to send a signal to his parents: Dad, Mom, you need to pay attention to me. Whether it’s a psychological need or an emotional change. It is important to note that at every age, when a child first appears to hit, the psychological reasons behind it are actually not basically out of the three situations mentioned above. However, if parents respond inappropriately, it can complicate the child’s hitting and make the hitting behavior solidify. For example, the following two are common situations that complicate a child’s “hitting”. Adults set a bad example and set a bad example, and children learn. Hitting is a solution to a problem. At first, the child’s “hitting” behavior does not make much sense, except for the above analysis. When children learn to use hitting as a way to solve problems, they are often taught by adults. How do adults teach children to hit? Generally, there are two situations: in one case, some adults don’t care much about the parenting process and often use threatening language to scare children, such as often saying to them, “If you don’t behave, I’ll hit you. In fact, adults often do not really hit the child, but the child learns: hit me, is a way to make me good, then I will also be able to use this way to make others good. Another scenario is when the child is actually beaten. The child is very aggrieved and uncomfortable after the beating, but he finds that his mother and father praise him after he cries and obeys them: “Look, you didn’t listen to your mother and father at first, and you had to be beaten up. What the child learns in the process of being beaten is also: beating me is indeed a way to make me good, and I will also be able to make others good in this way. The child may thus acquire the behavior of “hitting” by imitation. Boys are naturally more aggressive than girls and coercive control will reinforce the behavior. There is usually a peak of “hitting” when the child is about two years old. This is especially true for boys. Boys are born with a hormone called testosterone, and the secretion of testosterone makes boys stronger, faster, more explosive, etc. than girls. So, when a little boy finds that a little girl comes to grab a toy from him, he will be driven by anger at first and go up and grab the toy back. Subsequently, he will find that his strength makes the little girl fall to the ground or cry in fear, run away and so on. In this way, the child will think that the aggressive behavior is working. At this time, if the adults around do not promptly guide, or even yell, or harshly criticize. The child is more able to feel the “power” of their own aggressive behavior. After that, he will continue to use.