Marriage is an eternal topic. It is said that marriage is like a walled city where those inside want to go out and those outside want to go in, so why do people think this way? The reason is very simple, there are always this or that stressful events in marriage that we need to face, we always complain about the unhappiness that marriage brings to us, and attribute many problems to marriage. Among all the stressful events, husband and wife quarrel is something we often need to face, is a healthy husband and wife relationship. Handle is not good, then affect the marriage and family life, and even directly lead to the breakup of the relationship, deal with it well, can make the couple’s feelings warm up. So, how do we skillfully make feelings warm up in the fight? First, we should try to avoid quarrels 1, men should know how to be modest, women should know how to understand. Traditional secular belief that women should bear more housework, resulting in modern professional women not only need to be busy in the unit, physically and mentally exhausted, but also at home to bear more housework, men should know how to be modest. Men as the backbone of the family and the country, there is greater psychological pressure and economic pressure, back home may want a warm hug or can eat a hot meal, women should know how to understand. 2, respect each other, give each other some space. In daily life, do not be aggressive, respect his hobbies, socialization and life, he wants to do things to support him as much as possible, even if you do not agree, but also do not go to blame, calm communication and communication. The little things he did for you should not be taken for granted, that is his love for you, you have to interact with him, your response is his continued motivation. 3, good to find his advantages good, and express it. Everyone likes to listen to praise, do not begrudge him the worship and praise, praise words can make each other in a happy mood, couples are no exception, this kind of benefit mode will make the two people who love each other get along more pleasant. Second, pay attention to quarrel skills 1, correctly recognize the quarrel, remind themselves calm. Quarrels behind the expression of a strong need for attention, is the expression of desire for attention, desire for attention, desire for physical contact. Couples should recognize that language is sometimes pale, the strongest favorable communication or physical communication, this is the subtlety. When people are angry when it is the most likely to be impulsive, often say and do things are wrong, think of what can stab each other words, out of the mouth, once argued to the unavoidable time, both sides have to calm down, a party can choose to withdraw from the scene, to avoid these emotionally charged times, closed lips do not quarrel, wait until the heart is calm when to communicate again. 2, quarrel only to the matter not to the person, do not hurt the innocent. The purpose of quarreling is to express their own ideas and find a solution to the problem, so after the quarrel, couples should exchange more ideas, so that the other party knows the reason why you are angry and angry, to avoid similar problems from recurring. Definitely do not involve a lot of old stories in the fight, do not hit each other’s family, relatives, friends, coworkers, etc., and do not say divorce or break up that kind of hurtful words. 3, timely problem solving, not cold war. After the fight, as long as the mood calmed down, remember to use humor to break the calm at this time, whether it is a man or a woman, if at this time to be amused, we take advantage of the situation will also hurry to give each other steps or find steps down, today’s quarrel today, do not emotionally bring to the next day. 4, do not turn over old scores, towards the future of the problem of quarrels. Digging up old accounts of the past will only stir up the emotions of both sides, for things to be resolved did not help at all. Often say, “What are we going to do if we encounter the same thing in the future?” Such a sentence can help you shift the focus of the argument from emotional outbursts to problem solving. Quarrels are inevitable in married life, the fight process, do not talk about some unlikely to change things, sort out each other’s needs, clearly express their own ideas, understand each other’s ideas, in order to effectively avoid similar things to happen, in order to make the couple’s family life more harmonious, more understanding of each other’s needs in the quarrel, so that each other’s feelings warmed up. Only communication can help each other to grow old.