Why do babies have separation anxiety?
Quite simply, because of growing up. The occurrence of separation anxiety is a reflection of your baby’s growth. The baby’s cognitive skills have improved and he can distinguish between those who are close and those who are not so close. But then he cannot anticipate what will happen when he is separated from his mother, so he will be afraid of separation. The baby’s separation anxiety is not just about the mother, but about his primary caregiver. If the elderly look after them more, they may be more inseparable.
Separation anxiety, the most taboo these 3 ways to deal with
taboo one, sneak away
This scene is very common, the family members while using toys, food, all kinds of things to attract the baby’s attention, while squeezing eyebrows to indicate that the mother quickly go. Or simply take the baby to another room and not let him see his mother leave.
Leaving without saying goodbye is most undesirable. The baby will panic if the mother is just there and suddenly disappears at some point. He will be more panic, more clinging to mom, even with mom can not feel at ease, has a great impact on the psychological growth.
Taboo 2: Mothers have their own emotions
Moms also have separation anxiety, especially if they’ve been bringing their own, and will really worry about being apart. But your negative emotions will aggravate the baby’s pain, you a frown, a tear, fondness to say goodbye, the baby is not sad also become sad. All, control, pretend also to pretend to be happy out of the house.
Taboo three, criticize the baby
Through the process of separation anxiety, the baby may appear a lot of “abnormal” emotions and behavior. For example
1, before can sleep the whole night, now crying and drinking night milk.
2, before sleeping in a crib, now crying and fussing to sleep with mom.
3.before sleeping by themselves, but now they do not sleep without holding, waking up on the floor and blowing up from the bed.
4, before very good, but now become grumpy, throwing things.
These “degenerations” are normal.
Although it will bring a lot of trouble to the mother and family, but don’t overly blame the baby, “what’s wrong with you ah”, “you again like this mommy will not come back”, blame will make the separation anxiety last longer, the threat will also make the problem more serious.
Smoothly through, you can try these 3 methods
Suggestion one, make early preparations
Before returning to the workplace, it is best for the mother to choose her trusted “successor” to watch the baby together. Let your baby get familiar and accustomed to multiple caregivers, which will also help you adapt to kindergarten smoothly in the future. In the later stages of maternity leave, mothers can go out often and leave for a short period of time. Let your baby know that it is normal for her to go out and she will be back soon. Someone will have to take over your baby’s care, so it’s a good idea to start bonding early so that you don’t feel uneasy afterwards.
Suggestion two, a solemn farewell ceremony
As I said before, don’t sneak away and don’t cry with your baby in a hug, so how do we separate from our baby?
Need a goodbye ceremony that is not sloppy and perfunctory.
1.Prepare out about 10 minutes, you can see the baby’s situation to adjust, but do not drag too long.
2.Play with your baby for a while and tell him in a pleasant mood that mommy has to go to work.
3.Establish a time marker for you to come home, so that your baby has a clear expectation. For example, if you leave work at 6pm and your baby eats fruit at 5pm, say “Mommy will be home after you eat the fruit”.
4, before leaving the door and then stressed once again, mommy go, you eat the fruit and come back oh. Then leave happily and decisively.
After a period of time, your baby will understand that it is necessary for mom to leave, but she will really come back and will play with him when she comes back.
Suggestion three: quality company after coming home
Leaving and coming back is a promise between you and your baby. “Mommy is back!” Give your baby a big warm hug. Let your baby feel through your words and actions that going to work is happy and not a terrible thing.
During this time at home, do some intimate acts with your baby that are just between you, such as fixing the baby’s bath by mommy, reading stories, putting him/her to sleep, etc. It makes your short time together more special and more worthwhile for your baby to spend the whole day looking forward to.
Some mothers worry that if they leave it to their grandmother, will their children not be close to me? In fact, with quality companionship, how can a baby not be close to his mother? What a mother gives her baby is something that no one else can replace.