When it comes to this topic, a picture of an adult with one hand folded over the other, pointing at the child and roaring like a lion in the east of the river, immediately comes to mind, and I can’t help but smile. This is the most common Chinese discipline method, but unfortunately, this method is completely ineffective, and the louder the worse the effect. Often scolded, scolded loudly, the more scolded the more deaf The human brain has a characteristic, the habitual things are often blind, deaf. For example, people living next to the railroad, at first, the sound of the train will be too noisy to sleep, and soon get used to it, sleep as sweet, but occasionally to the countryside on vacation, but will be too quiet and can not sleep. This is because our brain’s resources are limited and it can’t keep paying attention to all the messages that come into it, so it will prioritize them according to its past experiences: for example, the moving ones are higher than the quiet ones, the fast ones are higher than the slow ones, and the novel ones are higher than the familiar ones, and out of self-protection, the brain will pay special attention to those messages that may harm you. Therefore, when parents scold loudly for the first time, the child “as you wish” can be scared to cry, but after a number of times, he will get used to it, and every time he is scolded, his attention is wandering, and he is not listening at all, the so-called “into the abalone’s restaurant, long time to smell but do not know its smell”. So it is said, “If you enter a restaurant of abalone, you will smell it for a long time and not know its odor. Therefore, the child should be disciplined to do what they say, said to do, threatened more often, it is not effective. Attract the attention of the child, with the harm of roaring even People have curiosity, the more you can not hear clearly, the more attention will be paid to listen to, for example, eavesdropping on other people’s speeches, other people’s voices are so small, but we can listen to every word, this is because the brain to the brain to all of its resources have been deployed to do the work of listening to. Therefore, if you want your child to pay attention to you, you don’t have to yell, just cause him to be motivated, the less you want him to hear, the more he will pay attention to listen. In fact, the best way to communicate is to teach by example, because the child is too young to reason, when adults do it to him, he will naturally learn it. The downside of scolding is that he is nervous, the brain will automatically switch to the escape mechanism, the sympathetic nerves replace the original parasympathetic nerves, so that his pupils will be dilated, heartbeat accelerated, palms sweaty, bladder incontinence, at this time, all of his attention is focused on how to escape, the parents will be wasted words. Loud scolding children have a sequel: imitation is the nature of the child, you yell at him, he will be outside the loud yell at others, which will make him have no popularity, can not make good friends, later life will be very lonely, and you yell at him, he will continue to yell at your grandchildren in the future. What do you use to discipline your children without yelling? The key to disciplining your child is to find out why your child is making mistakes and remove the cause from the source. We are most often annoyed that the child does not listen to the instructions, told him not to he preferred. At this point, parents may wish to squat down, from the child’s point of view to see why he is so fascinated, really understand his inner feelings, perhaps you will not be so angry. At the same time, adults should also remember one thing, that is, do not lead into the crime, if you do not want the child to eat sugar, please take away the sugar, do not put in front of him and not allowed to eat him. Neurologically, the best way to change a behavior is to replace the behavior you don’t want with the behavior you do want. In other words, don’t just say, “No,” but show him a way that he can go.