In the marriage relationship, the harm of cold violence has gradually attracted the attention of society, some say that cold violence than the general violence on the person’s harm is even greater. In fact, cold violence does not only exist in the marriage relationship, in parent-child relationships often exist, many times parents can not help but behavior, for the child is not to choose not to buckle cold violence. Today let’s look at those common parental behavior can be counted as cold violence: 1, you are very busy, when the child calls you, can not care about the child This situation generally occurs in the parents are busy, or they are immersed in their own things, unintentionally ignoring the child’s call, and some simply impatient with the child, intentionally pretending to be non-existent. Adverse consequences: The child is neglected and will adopt clingy, naughty and destructive behaviors to attract the parent’s attention, or give up on getting the parent’s attention, and the parent-child relationship becomes estranged. Suggestion: When you are busy or impatient, and your child calls you, please respond promptly, even if it’s like this: Daddy/Mommy is a little busy right now, I’ll be with you later, okay? Daddy/Mommy is a bit busy right now, I’ll be with you later, okay? Daddy/Mommy is in a bit of a hurry, wait for me a little bit, okay? Please note that when responding to the child, please look at the child and make a positive answer. 2, you are angry with the child, the child calls you, you do not want to pay attention to him, want to give him a little color This happens most often in the child naughty, after the mistake, the mother and father’s anger has not subsided, this time, many parents choose to deliberately refuse to respond to the child, as a punishment. Adverse consequences: the child may not realize that the reason for the coldness of the mother and father related to their own misbehavior, can not effectively reflect on their own mistakes, but due to the parents of the cold behavior generated by the lack of security and trust, thus affecting the parent-child relationship. Suggestions: look at the child’s quiet, calmly say to the child, because you just made a mistake, I am very angry, need to calm down for a while, I hope you also think about what you did wrong, and apologize to get my forgiveness, before getting my forgiveness, I may need to stay by myself for a while. 3.When you are depressed because of marital conflicts and work difficulties, you bring your own indifference to get along with your children, and you do not respond enthusiastically or simply refuse to the suggestions made by your children Consequences: Children have no way to understand the reasons behind your negative emotions, and they will attribute it to their own reasons or their parents’ lack of love for themselves, which will lead to a lack of self-confidence, a negative evaluation of themselves and a feeling of guilt, which will affect the physical and mental health of the children. Suggestion: Forget about other bad emotions that have nothing to do with your child, cherish the good time you spend with your child, devote yourself to activities with your child, show interest and enthusiasm, and praise your child’s whims in a timely manner. 4, the surface and play with the child, accompanied by the child, in fact, the heart is distracted, absent-minded Many parents in the company of the child will be in this state, watching TV, looking down at the phone, seem to be accompanied by the child, in fact, is distracted to deal with the child. Adverse effects: the child will imitate this kind of distracted way of doing things, resulting in decreased concentration, affecting learning, and will imitate this kind of behavioral pattern of getting along with others, thus forming bad social habits, and will grow up with this pattern to treat their own children and family members. Suggestion: Either you don’t accompany your child, or if you do, you must be high-quality, wholeheartedly accompanied. If you really can’t be with your child for a while, then tell your child that you have something to do right now and come back later to be with him to gain his understanding. 5, the child realized their own mistakes after making mistakes, with parents to apologize or indirectly express their apologies, parents directly rejected or indifference to this situation, usually parents anger is not eliminated, not good control of their own emotions, but also want to continue to punish the child’s practice. Adverse effects: Children are children, it is normal to make mistakes, it is abnormal to be perfect. And it is not easy for a child to recognize a mistake and to be able to apologize, because the child’s ability to recognize is limited, self-control is limited, and self-esteem is very strong. If mom and dad don’t respond positively, the child will question his or her ability to admit the mistake and take responsibility, which will affect how he or she handles similar problems in the future. Or lead to the child too immersed in self-blame and guilt emotions can not be extricated. This will affect the physical and mental health of the child. Suggestions: In this case, parents should give a positive response in time, tell the child to correct their mistakes is a very good behavior, to be able to use the courage to take responsibility for their own mistakes and apologize is very good. Positive encouragement and guidance for the child. Psychologists believe that, in family education, long-term indifference to the child is prone to produce a withdrawn personality, unwilling to communicate with others, psychological development can not be healthy; the child will also become very cold in the subconscious, indifferent to others, and may even become a “baton” of cold violence, especially when they deal with their own family problems may also occur. In particular, they may also have obstacles in dealing with their own family problems. Therefore, we ask mothers and fathers to change their daily behavior of cold violence and to accompany and guide their children in a sunny, positive, positive and focused way!