First, dare to “use” the child “only know how to pity the child, do not want to use the child”, this is today’s parents love the misunderstanding. In fact, if you love your children, you should be willing to use them. A person can only feel his value when he is needed by others and when he gives to others. When a child is used and needed by adults, he or she can feel how great his or her young life is, and then realize a deep sense of love and a strong sense of responsibility. Some parents raise their sons as “pets” and do everything for them, never letting them do anything for themselves. In fact, the mother of the son’s affirmation, the most can stimulate the potential of the boy. In order to give his mother a surprise, the son can create a miracle, this power can make a weak boy grow into a brave man. So, how should parents use their children? Second, brewing tea and stir-frying There was a boy’s mother who used to say this to her son from a young age: “With you, it’s just not the same.” When my son was 3 years old, once I held him to squeeze the bus, I did not expect a soft leg, I did not squeeze the car, almost fell on the curb. My son immediately asked me with concern, “Mom, what happened to you?” I said seriously to my son, “Mommy can’t get on the bus with you in her arms.” Upon hearing this, my son immediately jumped to the ground and pounded my leg with his little hand. I stroked his head and said with relief, “With you, it’s different!” My son was very proud of himself, and he never let me hold him again, and often whacked his legs for me. Son in second grade that summer, one day I came back from work, my son rushed to bring a cup of tea: “Mom, you drink tea! I poured it for you.” Tea has been cold, I have a bad stomach, do not like to drink herbal tea, but I still drink it, and then said contentedly: “With you, is not the same! It would be better if the tea was a little hotter!” The next day, I “enjoyed” a cup of hot tea poured by my son. When my son was in fourth grade, his father had to go on a business trip one day, my son was happy, but I said to him in a difficult way: “You are happy, I can be miserable, after work also have to rush home to cook for you.” Who knows, my son patted his chest and said mysteriously, “Dad’s not here, there’s still me!” Seeing him like that, as if I had a “dependence”, immediately “suddenly realized”: “Yes! Yes! And you, you’re a man too!” Surprisingly, the next day, he came home early after school, fried two dishes, put them on a plate, but also covered with a bowl. As soon as I got home, my son said, “Mom, go wash your hands, I’ll serve you dinner!” I was very obedient, washed my hands and sat down at the table. My son served me rice, and I ate it with a big mouthful. My son watched and asked in the tone of a TV commercial, “How does it taste?” “It tastes great!” I used the same “commercial” tone. “How does it compare to my dad’s cooking?” “Much better than your dad’s cooking!” I exaggerated. In fact, his craftsmanship was far worse than his dad’s, and he was still a bit undercooked! But a few years later, my son was a great fryer. How the son longed to be needed and affirmed by his mother. The greatness of a mother does not lie in whether or not she can send her son to college or study abroad, but in letting her son have a sense of accomplishment, find self-confidence, find himself, and find the need of his parents and society for him! When he finds the need of his parents and society for him, he finds a responsibility, a happiness. Parents who really love their children need to show a little weakness in front of their sons and give their children a little chance to love others. Don’t always see yourself as a mountain, depending on the child as grass, let the child lean on you, look up to you, fear you; not to be a big umbrella, depending on the child as a chicken, for the child to cover the wind and rain, let the child weak. Third, the five elements of crowded public transportation Want to train children into people who can adapt to the future of society, we must “free-range”, not “captive”, willing to let go. Especially the development of boys strong, resolute manhood, from childhood to give them a free and independent space, to provide exercise, practice, show the skills of the opportunity. The journey to and from school every day is a perfect opportunity to cultivate your child’s temperament of perseverance and ability to endure hardship. Letting your child exercise and walk to and from school on his own will allow him to find a lot of fun in the journey and also increase his knowledge which cannot be learned from textbooks. When my son was in elementary school, his home was far away from the school, and it took more than an hour to ride the bus on the way. Since third grade, my son has been riding the bus to and from school by himself. One day, he said to me mysteriously, “Mom, I found that there is philosophy everywhere in life. Let’s just say there are five main elements to squeezing the bus.” I was very interested: “When did my son become a philosopher? He’s got experience in squeezing a bus! Tell me more, I’m all ears!” Son excitedly talked about his summary of the “five elements”: “First, when waiting for the car, do not always stretch your head in the direction of the car to look at, that way, how sore neck! Just use your afterglow to look at the people next to you, the crowd once there is movement, it is the car coming!” “Makes sense! What about the second most important element?” I was very interested “Secondly, when the car comes, you don’t follow the crowd. You just have to stick to the side of the car and walk to the front of the car, grab the handlebars, and you’re on the bus! Third, if the car is crowded and there are no seats, you stand behind the driver’s seat, this place is more spacious.” “You’re pretty sharp-eyed! What else?” I couldn’t wait to hear more. “Listen to me slowly: fourth, the driver’s seat behind the spacious, but far from the seat armrests, your hands should be open, placed on the glass of the window, so that you can stand steady; fifth, stand after your feet should be separated, so that there is a foothold of the two feet.” After listening to these “five elements”, I laughed so hard that tears came out. I think, do not go to the bus, how can he summarize so many “elements”? After my son went to middle school, six years every day to go to school by bicycle, wind and rain, no matter the wind and sun, never complained of suffering, I admire him from the heart. Fourth, send your child a pair of brand-name shoes, not as good as to send him a pair of feet can walk After graduating from college, he took the initiative to ask to go to Shanghai to work, said he wanted to feel the breath of the modern big city, so as to be able to connect with the international community. On the day of departure, I was prepared to go to the airport to see him off, but he did not allow: “No need to send, I can go on my own!” He took a cab by himself, smiled at me and waved his hand before getting into the car, saying in the tone of a kindergarten child, “Bye, Mom!” I had to wave back and say, “Bye!” I couldn’t just beg and plead to go with him! As I watched my son walk away, I was relieved to know that he could do it. The course of my son’s growth has made me realize that: if a child can do something by himself, let him do it by himself, don’t do it for him. Doing for the child what they can do is the biggest blow to his motivation, because it will make them lose the opportunity to practice, you are always uneasy, everything to interfere, it is the same as telling him: “You can not, I do not believe in you.” From a young age, let go of the child to try, to experience, to exercise, the child will have the ability to survive, have the ability to resist risk, when he is far away, you have only joy in your heart and no worry. People’s lives are on the road, instead of sending the child a pair of brand-name shoes, why don’t you send him a pair of feet that can walk?