When I see patients in the obstetrics and gynecology clinic, from time to time I meet patients who come to consult about “orgasm”. They either feel that they are “sexually indifferent” and lack interest in having sex with their lover; or they think that they are not sexy enough and that “orgasms” are too difficult to come and are rare; or they feel out of sync with their spouse and cannot tolerate the “time difference”; or they say that they have “too much sexual desire” and cannot be fully satisfied. or they say they have “too much sexual desire” and can’t be fully satisfied, asking if it is a disease ……
I thank these patients from the bottom of my heart for their trust in me. The trust and respect of female patients who have the courage to communicate with me, a male obstetrician and gynecologist, on such a private topic as “sex life” and discuss how to fully enjoy the beauty of “love” is immense, and every time I ask and answer questions, I am able to This trust and respect is heavenly, and every time I ask and answer questions, I am constantly improving my confidence in the title of “white angel”. Every time I see one of these patients, it is a cleansing of my soul. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to them. ……
There is no reward, collect some information about “female orgasm”, is listed below, for reference.
A. What is orgasm?
Orgasm, orgasm, refers to the physical and psychological response to sexual pleasure after sexual stimulation. Usually there are also physical manifestations such as ejaculation, blushing, and convulsions.
In her report on sexology, the famous sexologist Hayter describes the feeling of orgasm in women as follows: “My body feels suspended and floating, full of power, a rushing spurt of fire that consumes everything intensely, wonderful to the point of extreme ecstasy that is almost beyond human capacity.” “I felt extremely euphoric – my breath caught – while my head became light and airy, as if I were in a world of dreams, with sounds so distant that time seemed to stand still.” ……
”The orgasm makes the whole body contract and tremble, so that the face changes color, makes all sorts of gasping sounds, shouts and screams, and falls into a kind of extreme ecstasy. ……” And Democritus sums it up succinctly: ” Sexual intercourse is a kind of petty epilepsy.” To Hippocrates, intercourse is a lot like making a cappuccino – the semen is produced in the head, flows through the ears into the spinal cord and lumbar region, and is stored there. The friction of coitus generates heat, stirring up body fluids and forming foam all over the body. Needless to say, semen is the foamy component, like the milk froth on a cappuccino. He even believes that women produce semen: “During intercourse, the woman’s sexual organs are rubbed and her uterus moves, and I think the movement of the uterus causes a kind of heart tickle, which spreads pleasure and heat throughout the rest of the body.”
Second, what does a female orgasm feel like?
A woman’s orgasm begins with a sensation called “suspension,” where she seems to be suspended in mid-air for a moment, usually for 1-3 seconds. This “suspension” is comparable to the “inevitability” that men experience before orgasm (when they are unable to suppress ejaculation). As the clitoris is constantly and rhythmically stimulated, the extremely sensitive nerves send impulses to the spinal cord, where they are immediately rerouted back to the orgasmic muscles in the pelvic region. The “suspension sensation” thus radiates away from the clitoris and into the pelvis. When this happens, the woman gradually forgets everything around her and doesn’t even know where she is – like a light fading out on low power. Her nervous system uses most of its impulses to initiate a massive burst of muscle contractions, which squeeze the stagnant blood out of the dilated blood vessels surrounding the outer walls of the vagina. This loss of the woman’s perception gives her a sense of loss of control. It is because of this sensation that a woman’s orgasm has a better name – “brief death”.
For some women, especially those experiencing orgasm for the first time, this loss of consciousness can be terrifying. At this point, if they are afraid of being looked down upon by the man for losing control, then this perfectly normal orgasmic response can be psychologically hampered, preventing the orgasm from reaching its maximum intensity.
At this stage of orgasm, no two women react in exactly the same way, even though their bodies experience similar physical changes. Some women are calm; others either moan or scream; some arch their backs or bite something nearby, such as an arm or pillow. When sensation begins to return – in a matter of seconds – almost all women feel warmth, first in the pelvis and then throughout the body.
So, in the orgasm, men and women, which side of the pleasure is more intense? In Greek mythology, there is a dispute between Zeus and his wife Hera. The cause is that both sides believe that in the conjugal intercourse, is the other side from which the greater pleasure. So Tiresias, who had been a woman for a while and then a man, was called to Mount Olympus as a judge. His answer was: women get almost 9 to 10 times more pleasure than men. This answer can not help but recall a yellow joke related to this: pick your ears with your fingertips, is it comfortable for your fingertips, or your ears?
Third, how is the female orgasm produced?
The physiological mechanism of orgasm is described in classic books as follows: orgasm is the shortest phase of the sexual response, lasting only a few seconds. It is the release of the energy of sexual desire through involuntary muscle spasms, resulting in waves of pleasure. The most sensual organ in women is the clitoral head, followed by the clitoral body, labia minora, and the outer 1/3 of the vagina.
The female orgasm, like the male, is produced by constant stimulation of the clitoris in women, while in men it is produced by constant stimulation of the glans. There are usually several physical manifestations: the female clitoris swells and protrudes, throbbing with orgasm; the female vaginal sphincter contracts intermittently; the female vaginal discharge increases; the female muscles stiffen briefly; the female cries out or makes unconscious noises; and the female does not subside from the orgasmic state immediately after orgasm, as the male does, but often remains intoxicated, which is called “afterglow”. Some women experience muscle weakness after orgasm, a phenomenon that allows women to potentially have temporary leg weakness; some women experience orgasmic ejaculation of fluid, called female ejaculation or a tidal wave, and these bodily fluids come primarily from the Skene’s gland. Some sexologists say that only one in 25 to 30 women will experience this.
Freud has divided female orgasms into clitoral and vaginal orgasms. The latest foreign statistics show that 50% of women get real pleasure from clitoral stimulation, and that women can clearly describe the difference between vaginal and clitoral orgasms. For example, they describe clitoral orgasms as “warm, itchy, electric and sharp” while vaginal orgasms are “deep, throbbing, soothing and comfortable”. Many women describe orgasm as a completely different sensation when the vagina is filled with penis than when it is empty.
Access to clitoral stimulation is relatively simple and its intensity varies depending on the form of sexual activity. The most intense is direct stimulation of the clitoris, while milder methods include having the woman rhythmically hold her thighs together, applying light pressure to the clitoris, or tensing and relaxing the woman’s pubic bone and coccyx muscles. If you don’t experience sexual pleasure through vaginal stimulation during sex, then clitoral stimulation is even more important for women.
What are the characteristics of women reaching orgasm?
Female orgasm, generally with diversity, a survey and analysis of 936 married women of childbearing age orgasm, orgasm is divided into eight common single type: vaginal contraction type, circumferential warmth type, circumferential shaking type, current through the type, laughing orgy type, floating ascending type, moaning restless type, drunken haze type. Some manifest as double type, triple type, quadruple type at the same time, etc. Among them, double type, single type is the most common, accounting for about 66%, and the vast majority (about 88%) in the climax there is the performance of clinging to each other. Of course, there are also 10% to 12% of women who have never had an orgasm, about 5% of women have only pleasure but no orgasm; about 7% of women have both no pleasure and no orgasm. Usually women reach orgasm will show the following.
1. Before orgasm arrives, some people will have a sexual flush on part of their body skin. This is the result of blood redistribution, the sudden flow of blood to the surface of the body, resulting in superficial blood vessel congestion under the skin. The sexual flush mainly appears on the face, forehead, breasts, followed by the whole body skin may also appear congestion. 2.
2. The appearance of muscle tension. Due to the increased muscle excitability, muscle tension of some muscles in the whole body appears, from involuntary contraction to regular contraction. At the time of orgasm, muscle spasm-like contraction may occur, mainly manifested as hand and foot spasms, face twisting or body twisting.
3. Respiration and heart rate are accelerated. Due to the excitement of the central nervous system, blood pressure rises, muscle contraction, accelerated aerobic metabolism, the demand for oxygen increases, so that breathing, heart rate accelerates. Orgasm, the number of breaths up to 40 times / min, sometimes accompanied by rhythmic moaning; heart rate increased to 120 times / min, some individual women even up to 150-160 times / min.
4. change of sensation. When women reach orgasm, some people will appear blurred consciousness, vision, hearing, and even momentary fainting; some women are accompanied by taste, smell, or disappear. When they enter the waning phase, they gradually return to normal.
5. During orgasm, women’s vaginal muscles, especially the muscles of the external vaginal opening, will undergo a strong and pleasant contraction, which will have an obvious grip on the penis, usually 3 to 15 contractions, every 0.8 seconds, lasting 2 to 4 seconds or longer, and bringing a high degree of pleasure to themselves. The contractions of the vaginal muscles are particularly pronounced in those women who are in good health and have not had children. Finally, this is followed by involuntary shaking of the woman’s pelvic floor (especially the vaginal levator and anal sphincter) as opposed to the conscious, rhythmic contraction of these muscles. This is immediately followed by a rhythmic contraction of the uterus that progresses from the uterine fundus to the cervix, with a climactic phase in which muscle spasms occur more frequently and are experienced for a longer period of time. Some people describe this as being like a slight electric shock, or as if a warm current is passing from the lower body to the whole body.
The nipples become erect, the muscle fibers in the breast tissue contract involuntarily, the blood vessels become engorged, and the nipples become erect and hard. Once orgasm is reached, the skin of the breast is red and hot, and the swelling of the areola is more pronounced.
It should be noted that women’s orgasmic response has obvious individual differences, some strong, some weak; and not every time sex can be achieved, sometimes not; some people have experienced a variety of responses to the orgasm, others do not know what is the taste of orgasm throughout their lives. Therefore, every couple should not place too much emphasis on women to reach orgasm every time they have sex, as long as they are satisfied and happy during sex. As for those who have never experienced the pleasure of orgasm for many years of marriage, it is considered female sexual dysfunction, it is necessary to go to the hospital to ask a specialist in sexual medicine.
Five, why should women have orgasms?
Desmond? Morris believes that the reason why women have orgasms, the cause is the human upright walking. If a woman does not have an orgasm after sex, there is no sense of satisfaction and fatigue as a result, and once the sex is over, the buttocks immediately patted away, then the semen will flow out of the vagina, because the woman walking upright, the vagina is vertical down. The vagina is horizontal for animals that walk on all fours, so females don’t need an orgasm.
This statement seems to make sense, but it’s actually wrong. First, it has now been proven that after a man ejaculates, there will be enough semen sprayed directly to the mouth of the uterus that even if the woman stands up immediately after intercourse, the conception rate will not be significantly reduced; second, it has now been found that about half of the primate females, also have sexual pleasure, and some can even have an orgasm.
To explore the real reason for female orgasm, it is worth thinking backwards to ask yourself a question first: If female orgasm is something useful, then why can’t women have an orgasm every time they have intercourse, as men must do?
Psychologist Wilson did an interesting experiment: he found that monkeys walking a seesaw were most enthusiastic about walking the seesaw only when they were rewarded with the occasional treat in an irregular manner. This is the famous “Wilson effect”. In fact, the essence of the theory is not difficult to understand. Imagine, if the rules, a person as long as the code of 1000 mahjong tiles, give him 5 dollars, there will be people like to play mahjong?
Six, is there a relationship between male ejaculation and female orgasm?
In reality, most women do get aroused by the influx of semen, which cannot be explained physiologically but is related to sexual psychology.
We know that human sexuality consists of both sexual physiology and sexual psychology. Purely from the perspective of sexual physiology, the effect of ejaculation on female orgasm is minimal. During sexual intercourse, the middle and deep part of the vagina is generally unpleasant, because only the part of the vagina near the vaginal opening is connected to the clitoris by nerves, and stimulation of this part will produce some degree of pleasure.
First of all, the idea of vaginal orgasm is still in the minds of many women. They even in full stimulation of the clitoris, already enough to reach orgasm, but also for the vagina does not feel strong or no pleasure and feel shaken, and even inhibit the emergence of orgasm, and men in the moment of ejaculation, is often considered by them to be the most effective and strongest stimulation of the vagina, follow this logical reasoning, less this moment sex life will naturally become “tasteless “The second thing is that, despite the development of the society, the vagina is not only the most effective and strongest stimulation. Secondly, although with the development of society, the concept of sex has undergone profound changes, but there is a significant percentage of women, at least in the subconscious still think that they are in a passive state in sexual life, is to bear, in the dedication, and men only in the ejaculation, to let them feel that the other side in the self intoxication, pay and dedication.
Once again, the man ejaculation, along with the rapid spurt of semen, the strong erection of the penis and the whole body muscle spasms, can make the woman really feel the full beauty of sex and endless magic, and at this moment the man’s vitality and shocking power, will also make the woman’s heart for it. Therefore, it is said that instead of semen in the jet impact is a woman’s vaginal vault, rather than that thicker than water male essence nourishing the whole world of women’s bodies and minds.
Therefore, men ejaculation is not only the embodiment of their own orgasm, but also the physical and mental comfort of the woman.
Seven, the similarities between male and female orgasm
After being sexually stimulated, men and women’s genitals have the same phenomenon of vascular congestion; blood rushing into the organ, making it swell; skin flushed, heart pounding, breathing increased, muscles regularly contracted about eight out of ten times per second. The first few contractions are the most intense, and the next few may be less regular and less intense. Brain wave patterns are greatly altered, perceptual states are actually changed, and orgasm causes a person to lose his or her mind. It is commonly assumed that men’s orgasms are rapid, violent, and explosive, and that women feel a whole-body, rippling sensation.
When describing the feeling of orgasm, both men and women write about a tidal wave of increased mental tension, the heart begins to beat extremely rapidly “the extreme excitement of the whole body,” an increasing rhythm of shaking, bursting, and warmth and tranquility in the body. And both men and women become extremely poetic: “orgasm feels like heaven in a hot hell”; “orgasm is like jumping into a cool pool after hours of sweaty harassment”; “orgasm is like dumping garbage on a sunny day, dumping the garbage in a vast open green field”.
Eight, why is there female orgasm disorder?
A family planning department in China, a statistical data shows that married women with insufficient sex or loss of sex, accounting for thirty-five percent; in young women before the age of thirty, the proportion is even higher.
The reasons for lack of orgasm are various, such as fatigue, weakness, physical illness, drug effects, marital discord, poor living environment, and so on. If all these reasons are ruled out, then it is mostly due to the negative effects of lack of sexual knowledge, unsatisfactory sexual communication, unmastered sexual skills or sexual shyness of the couple.
More and more sexologists agree with the view that an important reason for women’s orgasm disorder is the long-standing, both Chinese and foreign “man-centered sexual intercourse model” and “sexual intercourse-type orgasm theory”. This model and theory is essentially the promotion of male on female “missionary style” of sexual intercourse, and that anyone who can achieve orgasm in this way is a normal person, and vice versa. However, according to the famous American sex sociologist Sally Mayte, seven percent of people who have orgasms this way are normal and vice versa. According to a survey conducted by the famous American sex sociologist Sally Mayte, seventy percent of women are unable to have an orgasm with direct stimulation of the clitoris. The problem lies in the above-mentioned pattern and theory of sexual intercourse, mistakenly making the woman in the whole process of sexual intercourse is always in the passive party, not get due, enough sexual stimulation, so as not to release sexual energy, to obtain the extreme sexual pleasure.
To be exact, in sexual life, men are to ejaculate as the ultimate sign of orgasm, if you can give the clitoris to adequate, appropriate sexual stimulation, whether masturbation or others, most women can almost reach orgasm, however, in many couples in the process of sexual life, do not know or shy of the appropriate stimulation, which is very regrettable.
What are the reasons for the lack of female orgasm?
The absence of sexual knowledge education: women in modern society, on the contrary, do not let the sexual response flow naturally and strongly like women in primitive society. In fact, there is often a lack of scientific education about sex in modern society. The lack of orgasm is quite common among women because they are inhibited in their sexual response and have no knowledge or misunderstanding about sex.
2. Harmful view of sex: In Chinese society, which has a long feudal tradition, there is a clear lack of scientific education about sex. What happens between the sexes cannot be talked about openly. Ignorance of sexual knowledge was seen as a sign of female “purity”. It is difficult for “educated women” to imagine themselves taking the initiative to achieve orgasm during sex. Many women can not overcome shyness and fear, sex as a “dirty thing”, only as a last resort to passively do their wifely duties, which, of course, can not talk about orgasm.
3. confident and cheerful, conducive to orgasm: In addition to social and cultural inhibitions on women’s sexual response, there are a series of personal factors that play a role in causing the lack of orgasm. For example, women who are depressed and have self-blame may feel that they do not deserve the pleasure and subconsciously suppress their orgasmic reflexes as a means of punishing themselves. Some women are too anxious to be comfortable and open during sex, or worry that they “look bad,” or are even distracted by some more absurd thought whenever they have sex. There are also many women who are worried about their lack of sexual response when it comes to sex, fearing that they will not have an orgasm, and the more they worry about it, the less it will happen, which is called “operational anxiety”. The physical and mental strain of women who work, coupled with the psychological fear of pregnancy in women today is also worth paying attention to.
4. trust in men, conducive to orgasm: psychoanalytic school of thought emphasizes the subconscious psychological conflict, they believe that part of the lack of orgasm is rooted in the traumatic experiences of childhood. For example, a girl growing up in a broken home, if she has a deep impression of her father’s cruelty and her mother’s bitterness and grief, she will form a fear and distrust of men, and after she gets married, despite loving her husband, the subconscious fear and distrust of men will still prevent her from reaching orgasm.
5. emotional coordination, conducive to orgasm: the couple’s emotional coordination or not has an obvious impact on the orgasmic reflex. Hostility, resentment, disgust, fear of the husband, or indifference to the husband, may inhibit orgasmic response. Other women use the suppression of orgasmic response as a means of getting back at the man. When the husband has sexual dysfunction, the wife will also be secondary to the lack of orgasm.
6. environmental comfort, conducive to orgasm: orgasmic reflex is easily disturbed by external conditions. Living room is not tight, fear of being seen by children or outsiders; bed is not suitable, there is strong light or noise, physical discomfort, poor work, economic difficulties, personnel disputes, household chores hanging …… and so on, can be the cause of situational orgasm lack.
Ten, let women reach orgasm six ways
In the process of sexual intercourse to reach orgasm is usually due to the conscious and active participation of women, in the process of sexual intercourse they will be the most sensitive sensation of the clitoris of a part of the center of physical contact with the man, usually make it contact with the male pubic area. So, fundamentally, this clitoral stimulation during sexual intercourse can be seen as a stimulation of the female self during sexual intercourse.
To summarize, there are six basic ways to achieve orgasm during intercourse:
(1) woman-initiated intercourse position: female superior position should be the most effective way to allow women to gain full freedom of movement to seek self-satisfaction. This position will at the same time make women tighten their legs and together, or can adjust the amplitude of penis insertion to suit the woman’s own way to make her clitoris touch with the man’s pubic bone. Alternatively a woman’s belly can be used in a position where her belly is pressed against the bottom, which is an effective method for many women. The woman lies face down on the bed and the man inserts his penis into the vagina from behind. This allows the woman to rub against the bed and sheet in the way she is used to, and the man on top of her adds more pleasure for her.
(2) Rubbing the pubic bone area/pussy together: This method of rubbing, which is very similar to the female on top position, can be used in any position. Grinding includes complete penetration, leaving only a little penis in the vagina pumping, or make the penis completely inserted without pumping, one party rotating and twisting the body in a circle, so the pubic parts of men and women will be close together, rubbing each other, especially the woman’s labia and pussy will get a great and very pleasant friction stimulation.
(3) During intercourse, the pubic bones of both men and women touch each other: with the man’s pubic bone pressed against the woman’s clitoris, with each penis pumping to the clitoris to stimulate. In most cases, the man does the body movements. One of the most commonly used positions is the male top position, or one or both can take a sitting position. The woman’s legs can be in any position, such as thighs apart, bent upward, backward, thighs into the air can be. The principle is to make the penis pumping on the clitoris stimulation is not too difficult, the woman’s own body movement to be free.
In the “male and female pussy together” for frictional stimulation, women prefer the following: slow, gentle, sensitive and strong. Not a constant pounding. The penetration should be slow and gentle, and the pussy should be squeezed at the end of the penetration. In general, only women who are unable to reach orgasm during intercourse will prefer rough treatment.
During “squeeze and rub” stimulation women prefer the following: gentle and deep penetration – almost no pumping, just lying there together, deeply embracing, with the penis deep in the vagina. But it should also be borne in mind that women need continuous stimulation in order to reach orgasm, as opposed to men who need moderate intermittent stimulation. As it is necessary to maintain an effective rhythm of movement in each of the shortest moments.
(4) Keeping the penis in the vagina and not letting it pump back and forth: the head of the penis is located just in the labia and the root of the penis is pushed upwards towards the clitoral area as if to cover the pussy door. But paradoxically, what makes a woman feel good sometimes makes another man feel bad, and this position, where the penis is not inserted deeply, can make some men feel less than fully sexual.
(5) Repeat penetration with the penis to the vagina: In this kind of intercourse penis penetration is less than the last position. That is, the penis only moves near the inner edge of the outer labia, or even leaves the cunt completely with each stroke, so that the vaginal entrance and labia are constantly stretched and stimulated.
(6) Clitoral stimulation or other forms of stimulation are given sufficiently before orgasm, followed by penile insertion into the vagina, with the woman reaching orgasm a little later: adequate pre-caressing before penile insertion into the vagina. This is because the woman actually receives very little stimulation during intercourse. In most women’s masturbation there is no “pre-caressing”. Men should pay close attention to this. Only then will you be able to make your partner enjoy a mesmerizing orgasm, and you will also experience a soul-stirring moment.
P.S. How to prolong female orgasm?
There have been several studies that show that the average female orgasm lasts 15 seconds to 30 seconds or so, and how to extend this time, and is the focus of research by sexologists. In the 1980s, two American sexologists had announced the discovery of a way to actually prolong the female orgasm, which attracted a lot of attention at the time. Some media in the United States said that recently, sexologists have proposed to revive and improve this method, and said that they have achieved certain results. It is understood that the improved method consists of two main stages :
Stage 1: Improving one’s own awareness. As a woman, you should have a correct understanding of sex. As sexologists have pointed out, many women will be resistant to orgasm, so the first thing to do is to “cognitive reconstruction”, in short, is to think more when the desire for sex is high, “this is great, let us follow the feeling it”, rather than The first thing to do is to do a “cognitive reconstruction”. After establishing the correct understanding, women should then perform perineal contraction exercises, including contraction and relaxation of the pelvic floor muscles. Keep practicing 3 sets of 25 to 30 repetitions each day. In addition, pay attention to your own orgasmic performance, such as figuring out what kind of strokes, how fast, how much and at what pace are the most suitable and satisfying techniques for you.
Stage 2: Working with your partner. The woman lies flat on her back, with her partner sitting on her side, and then gently strokes her external genitals for about five minutes or so. During this process, it is best not to stimulate the woman’s clitoris or vagina. Next, the woman’s clitoris can be gently stimulated by making gentle, regular circles with her fingers. At the same time, the woman should tell her partner what strength and rhythm is just right. When the woman is close to orgasm, the man should not stop stimulating. According to American sexologists, this is just the beginning of the woman’s first orgasm, and at this moment should continue to gently stimulate the woman’s clitoris with her fingers and increase the intensity and frequency of the gentle strokes when she is ready, which will stimulate a new round of orgasms.
After completing the above two stages, women have to find their own “orgasm time”, the day of the month when their sex drive is at its peak. Women can draw a chart based on their sexual feelings, and after a few months, they can find out from the chart whether there is a certain regularity in their own orgasm time, and try to extend their orgasm at this time.