The transformation of the traditional biomedical model to a bio-psycho-social medical model and the involvement of patients in the selection and decision making of treatment options has become the consensus of modern medical practice. Patients’ opinions become more and more important, and even become decisive. Therefore, guiding patients to learn to give up becomes an important task for doctors when they are faced with patients who have completely lost their chance of treatment. Doctors are often at their wits’ end when faced with a disease. It is indeed difficult to actively choose to give up; it is even more embarrassing to help others make the choice to give up. Unfortunately, the doctor is the one who often has to persuade others to make the choice to give up. This is the most difficult choice a doctor can make, and it shows the helplessness of medicine and doctors in the face of disease, and the shame of doctors. Patients come from all over the country, most of them are patients who have been seeking medical help without success, or even patients who have been sentenced to death many times without any hope of treatment. They don’t want to be so miserable, and they don’t believe that fate is so unfair, so they often put their last hope in the Xiehe Hospital, hoping that a miracle will happen here. Since it is a miracle, it does not happen often. Although Concordia Hospital sees and cures a large number of patients with difficult medical conditions every day, not all of them work. Therefore, it is very common to see patients who may be given a “final judgment” here. Among the infertility patients I treat, I am often confronted with patients who have no hope of success, and who do not give up. I often become the spokesperson of this “no hope” sentence. At this time, I am in pain and ambivalent, and my inner struggle is no less than that of my patients. Helping patients to give up is also a kind of care One day I received a letter from a patient, which gave me a new understanding of this kind of help to patients to choose to give up. The letter read: “Hello, Dr. Li! Actually I am not your patient, but I still want to write this letter of thanks to you because you saved not our disease but our hearts …… We ran to several hospitals with the same answer (unable to conceive). To be honest, we were all in pain and especially depressed …… However, when I read today that you told a patient that ‘there are many meaningful things in life, not necessarily just childbirth’, it was very touching. Perhaps it would be more meaningful for us to spend our minds on our careers …… If we are lucky enough to have children, I want my children to study medicine and become like Dr. Lee in the future.” It is most gratifying for me to meet such a reasonable patient. I understand the loneliness, helplessness and desperation of patients, and I often feel ashamed of the longing and tear-filled eyes of patients. But medicine is not a panacea, for some painful choices under extremely difficult conditions, especially in the case of impossible results, it is better to learn to give up, may show you another broad sky. There are two ways to give up, active and passive. Those who actively give up, because they do not have to encounter further blow and avoid a lot of disasters, and can accumulate energy and financial resources to start a new life journey; while passive renunciation, due to the continuous face of hardship and danger, may be bruised all over, and even difficult to have the courage to face life. The patients I have experienced the most are those who have given up passively. The painful words from one patient were unforgettable: “God is not fair. I am young and strong, nothing is worse than others, why should I be extinct?” Indeed, the vast majority of patients are resigned to facing similar situations, and very few give up on their own initiative. The end result is that after they have gone through a thousand trials and tribulations, they are often left with high debts, families, heartbreak, and even family disintegration. When faced with a patient who has no hope for further treatment, actively advising him to give up unrealistically high expectations and choose to give up should also be seen as a kind of care for the patient. Don’t defy the laws of medicine when fighting a disease There are many doctors who give up passively. Individual doctors choose not to give up even though there is no longer any possibility, and still make a wholehearted effort to fight against the disease, trying to save patients and give them and their families confidence and support, but it is also difficult for the public to accept. The most typical example is a famous foreign surgeon, in the operation for the patient’s forgetfulness and not to give up the spirit of everyone was shocked, even in the patient has stopped breathing and heartbeat, anesthesiologists repeatedly reminded the doctor should stop the operation, still can not let this forgetful doctor by any interference, the operation was carried out by my own way. After a few hours the operation ended perfectly, but triggered public anger among all the staff, including the patient’s family and the doctor, and eventually brought legal sanctions on himself. When evaluating the function of a doctor’s work, I think the phrase “sometimes to heal, often to help, always to comfort” could not be more appropriate.