What kind of parenting style will bring up what kind of children. If you find something wrong with your child, you must first look at whether there is something wrong with the parents themselves. But many parents are not aware of their own parenting style. And it has nothing to do with education, even the more knowledgeable parents are, the more likely they are to be obsessed with their own judgment and perceptions. We generally classify parenting types into four categories: First: Authoritative This is a controlling but flexible parenting style, which can also be called democratic. This type of parent makes reasonable demands on the child and is careful to state the reasons for requiring compliance to ensure that the child will follow directions. Authoritative parents try to “see” the child’s needs and are more accepting and responsive to the child’s point of view. They also seek the child’s input on family matters. Thus, authoritative parents recognize and respect the child’s point of view and guide the child in a reasonable, democratic, rather than overbearing manner. Type 2: Authoritarian This is a very restrictive parenting style. Usually parents will come up with many kinds of rules that they expect their children to strictly follow. Usually they do not explain to the child the need for these rules, but rather force the child to comply. If the child obeys, he or she is good, but if he or she does not, he or she is punished directly. Authoritarian parents are often insensitive to their children’s conflicting views and simply expect their children to accept what they say as law, accept what they give them (often they believe too much in themselves and think I’m doing it all for the good of the child), and respect their authority. Type 3: Indulgent This type of parenting is what we often call coddling. It is an accepting and permissive style of parenting. This type of parent has fewer demands and allows the child to express his or her feelings and impulses freely, but is not able to monitor the child’s behavior closely and rarely exercises firm control over the child’s behavior. Lack of rules and unrestricted gratification. Lack of restrictions especially in material gratification. Type 4: Uninvolved This is the least successful type of parenting. A large number of absent parents is typical of uninvolved. For example, parents who struggle with their own careers and are too busy to care for their children, or parents who work long hours and leave their children with the elderly. It is a very permissive and less demanding parenting style. This type of parent will either deny their children’s requests or will invest very little time and energy in their children due to excessive focus on their own affairs. What kind of children will each of these four types raise? The best is authoritative parenting. With authoritative parenting, children generally develop very well. They are happy, motivated, independent, have a sense of purpose, are responsible and accountable, and can work well with others. With authoritarian parenting, children are generally emotionally unstable, unpleasant and unfriendly most of the time, and easily irritated, relatively aimless, on the retreat side, and uninterested in what is going on around them. Boys in particular usually show impulsiveness and aggression under permissive parenting. They are generally rude, self-centered, lack control and have a low level of independence and achievement. The worst type of parenting is uninvolved parenting. With uninvolved parenting, children show high levels of outwardly problematic behaviors such as aggression and irritability by the age of three. Worse yet, they will do very poorly in elementary school and are more likely to exhibit behavioral disorders in later childhood. Each family’s parenting style will favor one or the other, or a mixture of two or more. This leaves parents biased when it comes to alignment. For example, I know a father who grew up in a heavily authoritarian environment, and after becoming a father himself, gave his children relatively more freedom, allowed them to play, met some of their needs, etc. He then thought he was the authoritative type. But in fact, he is still the authoritarian type, just an improvement over his own father. In addition to giving his children a certain amount of freedom and not scolding them with sticks, he still unconsciously treats them in an arbitrary way in his daily parenting, rarely giving them a choice and listening to their voices. Therefore, the “freedom” he gives to his children is still only what he thinks is “freedom”. Another important point to note is that many parents today tend to be absent from their children’s development due to busy schedules and stressful lives. Remember, not being involved in your child’s development, even if you live in the same house as your child, is still “uninvolved”, and that is the worst form of parenting! I know too many families around me where the child’s upbringing has gone awry, and although the adults realize the problem and take various steps to remedy it, there are opportunities for growth that are missed forever.