For children to have the ability to be fair, parents must be able to maintain a fair state of living with their children, neither forcing them nor accommodating them. 1, happy A person must first be happy, if even happy can not do, then nothing can be talked about. Some people say that there are times when it makes sense to temporarily endure pain in order to achieve a certain goal, even though it is unhappy. In fact, something endured for a goal is not unhappiness. He can be a little bit physically bitter and emotionally lonely, but he is not unhappy in his heart because there is hope comforting and calling him. The real unhappiness is the utter disappointment in oneself, the passive humiliation, and the inescapable emptiness and fear inside. No one wants to be unhappy, so why are too many people unhappy even though they have a good life? In fact, happiness is more often than not related to things but to the state of mind of the person. Happy is not so much a personality, but rather a quality and ability. Happiness requires an open mind and optimism and a sufficient sense of security. Not for some bad things nagging, but can quickly recover from aggression, hurt, not for the past, not for the future and worry, live in the present, not for too many desires, can be self-pleasant, self-pleasure, how is a character is good, just a quality. Therefore, as a parent, the child should be loving, so that the child has enough emotional warmth and a sense of belonging; require children to be strict but not harsh, vicious; when the child is aggrieved, frustrated, cold, to guide the child optimistic and open-minded, so that the child feels that if you face reality with a good mind, reality will not be so bad. In short, let feel that life is a thing that makes people happy, learn to be happy, is more important things in education. 2.Relaxation Human intelligence and energy are amazing, but people have too much self-binding, self-troubling, and self-contradiction, so most people are not only incompetent but also have endless troubles. Among the many factors that hinder human potential, tension should be one of the more prominent ones. People in a relaxed state, the mind is open and active, while in the tension is closed and rigid, just like in the stage speech, relaxed people to talk eloquently, and tension makes people stammering. Very often, we are still too easy to be nervous, because we have developed the habit of being nervous from early on, whenever we face challenges, dangers and uncertainties, when facing those who are high in our minds, when facing those big occasions, we are always nervous. The nervousness of meeting a teacher as a child is the same as the nervousness of meeting a leader today, and the nervousness of walking into an examination room in elementary school is no different from the nervousness of interviewing later. These nerves prevented us from playing with our selves. In fact, what is there to be nervous about? As long as we can focus on the matter at hand rather than the outside environment and the impact that the outcome of the matter can have, we don’t feel nervous, we just think about playing ourselves and things are easier, and often we are better at this time. So I don’t want my child to be nervous. I think violent coercion is one of the major sources of tension in children. Rough to make children feel irresistible threat is what we should take extra care to avoid. 3.Focus A diffuse sunlight is nothing, but if you use a convex lens to bring it together, it can make objects burn. Human energy is also the same, scattered slowly, muddled, day by day, what progress and change, but the heart in one place, persistent, will create a surprising achievement, those who let us respect must be good at concentrating people. Some people who seem to be inattentive are actually very focused. But such people are in the minority. More people appear to be intense, but actually cannot use their minds. Often with ninety percent of the time to focus on the problem, but only ten percent of the time to solve the problem, the more attention, the greater the pressure, the spirit has been “bitter” can not, action has not yet begun, in the end not to do can not do, had to hastily, so poor. But how many people dare to say that they do not exist in this phenomenon? Therefore, it is important to develop children’s ability to focus from an early age. Create and use a variety of stimuli to attract the child’s attention, once the child is engrossed in something (as long as it is not harmful), we do not disturb him as much as possible, at least not because of dinner to interrupt him, eat a little late nothing, the food is cold can be reheated, children focus on the state is very precious, we can not tolerate this little trouble. The child’s concentration state is consistently destroyed, his ability to focus will be damaged, which will be a lifelong loss. 4, the initiative Although there are things in life from the sky and good luck to hit the head, but more often than not, disaster and happiness or rely on our initiative to avoid and fight. Life is more often like a buffet, what we want to rely on ourselves to get. Taking the initiative is the only way to have a chance, waiting for the best is a special case. Proactive in order to grow, the more you try, the more experience you have, the stronger the strain, the wider the experience, the less likely to rattle and fuss. Conversely, being passive and conservative can lead to stagnant growth. Children are naturally very proactive, wanting to try everything, wanting to taste everything, new things, exciting sensations to keep them entertained. Why are many children so mute and passive? The reason is that at a very young age, adults prohibit too many things, control is too strict, so that children do not dare to try. The child’s personality is strong, but if the personality is weak, will be worried everywhere, fear of transgression, so that the spiritual life began to shrink. 5, autonomy If I had to choose between being paranoid and having no opinion, I would prefer my child to be paranoid. Paranoia, although many times annoying, and the danger of bent, but, when the child’s idea is the right one, it can succeed. The reality is that many times the right ones are the wise few, and only those who can withstand the pressure from all sides and stick to their opinions can not eat the loss of blindly following the crowd. Intel president Grove wrote a book “only paranoia can succeed”, many people say that this book than the Intel Group to enhance his value, this book does fully speak of strong independent will for the success of the decisive significance. If a child does not have an opinion, he will never be able to succeed, only follow the ideas of others, only at the mercy of the environment, regardless of whether people’s ideas are right or wrong, regardless of whether the environment is suitable for him. If a person has no opinion, then he and his life do not belong to him, but to external influences. This is a very sad thing. But the autonomy of the child is easily destroyed, parents like their children to develop according to their own vision, are afraid of “not being able to control” the child. It is true that all parents have good intentions for their children, and that parental guidance is necessary for children, but is there anything extra beyond these necessities? When you are angry because of your child’s disobedience, is there a little “control” in the heart to do it? When our children do something we don’t like but it’s not a big deal, can we allow them to do it without interfering or commenting? My view is that parents should not be furious because their children do not listen to them, but rather worry about their children who have no idea and only listen. In life, although there are disasters and good fortune, but more often than not, disasters and happiness are to be avoided and fought for on our own initiative. More often than not, life is like a buffet, and it is up to us to get what we want.