“Peeing” refers to an adult holding a child and forcibly asking the child to poop or pee. Alternatively, peeing can be expanded to include an adult constantly reminding or asking the child to poop or pee because the adult’s reminding and asking interferes with the development of the child’s defecation control system and disrupts the child’s development of the defecation control system. Peeing, in layman’s terms, means that the child does not have the urge to poop and the adult demands that the child must pee. In our culture, a child not peeing his or her pants means that the child is well-behaved and the parents have educated him or her well, and vice versa, the parents have failed in their duty and the child is not well-behaved. Thus, the child’s pants-wetting behavior is directly related to the level and face of adult parenting. The first reason is to save money, put urine can save money to buy more diapers The second reason is to develop children’s “good habits”. Adults always think that putting urine can make children form good habits of urination and defecation, and expect children to urinate and defecate according to the wishes of adults, for example, whether the children are willing or not, they ask for 10:00 a.m. poop, and adults think that if they ask children to poop at regular intervals, the children will develop the “good habit” of pooping at 10:00 every day. The third reason is the meritocracy mentality. If a child doesn’t wet his pants, or never poops in his pants, the adult will take pride in this and gain a great sense of accomplishment. The result of adults forcing children to urinate and defecate according to adult wishes is a disruption of the child’s own development of bowel control – The first disruption: the child’s sphincter lags behind in its development Forcing a child to urinate when he or she doesn’t feel the urge to do so, constantly reminding him or her to go to the bathroom to defecate and urinate. (When the urine has not yet filled the bladder, the sphincter has not yet been stimulated, the urine in the bladder is forced by the adult to make the child excrete, the less stimulation the sphincter receives, the more its function is lagging behind; these adult behaviors undermine the development of the child’s urethral sphincter and anal sphincter function. The second disruption: the child’s difficulty in constructing his or her own defecation reflexes Children who are forced to urinate, reminded to urinate and defecate, or forced to relieve themselves, have a defecation reflex that is controlled by adult commands from the outside world rather than by the child’s body’s own neurological reflexes. When there is an external command, the child follows the external command to defecate. When there is no reminder or no one to put the urine, the child’s bladder, even if it is already full of urine, does not know to go to the bathroom to take off his pants and sit on the toilet to defecate, and it is common at this time that the child will defecate in his pants. The third damage: the child’s personality construct has been damaged The child due to their own ability to control the development of urination lag, in the age of peers have not peed their pants, still peeing their pants, such behavior will be scolded by adults, the small friends of the taunts and jokes, resulting in self-esteem is seriously hurt. Repairing the defecation reflex after it has been damaged There is an eternal law in the development of life instincts: life instincts that have been delayed in their development will look for a time to redevelop and reconstruct. Since the function of the defecation system is an essential function that must be perfected in human life, once it is disrupted, the life instincts will initiate the repair process on their own. When the adult no longer controls the child 24 hours a day and the child is free to urinate and defecate, the child’s own bowel control system is given the opportunity to be repaired. The repair process begins with the bowel movement patterns of infancy and goes through the four stages of development of the bowel control system described above. Parents can help their children to complete the repair process by: Principle 1: Allow time for the child to rebuild the bowel control system Principle 2: Relax and help the child to rebuild the reflexes of the bowel control system By truly accepting and trusting the child, the child will be able to repair the system. Principle 3: Unconditional acceptance of the child’s repair behavior Let go of anxiety, wait patiently, do not care about what others think Principle 4: Parents need to reflect on their own parenting style Purpose of training the child to defecate When the child tells the parents that he or she needs to urinate, you can take the child to the restroom to relieve himself or herself, and this is the time for training. Do not force your child to go to the restroom to relieve himself or herself if he or she does not signal that he or she needs to relieve himself or herself. When the child is young, we have to train the child’s bowel movement. The so-called bowel movement training is to help the child realize in time when the child has already given the signal for bowel movement: go to the bathroom – take off the pants – sit on the toilet -and then defecate. The purpose of training is to enable the child to understand this procedure, the correct goal is to help the child cognitive in what place to urinate and defecate, rather than requiring the child to urinate and defecate in accordance with the wishes of adults, urination and defecation should be controlled by the child himself, which is to help the child to learn to control the urination and defecation of the necessary path. 1, the child is about one year old, you can prepare a urinal for him, to avoid the child can not get to the bathroom in time and cause tension. 2, once the child gives the signal to urinate, we will bring the urinal to the child. Gradually the child will know his special potty and will automatically walk to the potty to relieve himself when he urinates. 3. Once the child has mastered peeing in the potty, the potty can be moved to the bathroom and the transition will be natural. 4. The more the child responds to the developmental pattern of bowel control, the more the child will be able to control his or her bowel movements. Does a child who is put in the potty always have problems? Children who have bowel problems have some of the following things in common: First, they have been peed on for a long period of time (more than 2-3 years) or have been reminded to relieve themselves for a long period of time. Secondly, children who are obsessed with continence, which means that the adult controls almost every bowel movement. Thirdly, children who are timed, where the caregiver regularly urinates or reminds the child to have a bowel movement, and always asks the child to have a bowel movement according to the caregiver’s wishes. Children who meet all three of these conditions are bound to have problems with bowel movements, and all of these children still have problems with frequent wetting of their pants or poop in their pants around age 6. Or they will relieve themselves only when prompted by an adult and will relieve themselves in their pants without an adult’s prompting. If the adult is peeing on the child, but not fulfilling the three conditions as described above, then the child’s problem with defecation may not be too obvious, and both the adult’s lack of persistence and lack of long term persistence in the process give the child the opportunity to fix it, and the child will have the opportunity to refine the development of his or her defecation reflex system. The idea that “some children are urinated on and don’t have problems” excludes only problems with the defecation system, and fails to consider whether the child’s healthy psychological and personality development is being undermined by urination. Adults forcibly urinate on children, destroying the child’s physiological self-management development as an independent person, making the child feel that his urination and defecation can not be independent, have to follow the orders of others, the child’s personality, the most important dignity, independence, autonomy are destroyed by urination to varying degrees, and these damages are not “obvious”, does not mean that the child “does not have a problem”, does not mean that the child “does not have a problem”. The fact that these damages are not “obvious” does not mean that there is “nothing wrong” with the child.