Sickness, aging and death are things that every living person will eventually face. Life ultimately ends with death, and no one can avoid it.
And any person, when possible, should know exactly how long he has left to live, and he can know what he wants to do and think about for the rest of his life. In other words, for a patient, when he is unfortunately suffering from an incurable disease, he should have the right to know: what kind of disease he has, what kind of severity and prognosis, what kind of treatment methods are available, the efficacy and side effects of various methods, etc. In this way he can make his own choice. This way he can make his own choice, whether he chooses to treat or give up, choose surgical treatment or conservative treatment, is his own choice for his own life, no one else has the right to replace the patient in his own decision without his knowledge. (Of course, the premise is that the patient’s mind is clear and can have a sound mind) Zhang Rujing, Department of Psychological Counseling, Xiyuan Hospital, Chinese Academy of Traditional Chinese Medicine
As a doctor, I have always seen too many deaths, and I deeply feel the helplessness of the dying life, but at the same time, I also deeply appreciate another kind of helplessness, a more heartbreaking helplessness.
Some elderly patients, who unfortunately have cancer, are sent to hospital by their children. Often, their children would tell them not to let the elderly know what kind of disease they had, for fear that they would not be able to bear it once they found out themselves. Whenever we hear such concerns from family members, and then see the eagerness of the patients to let the doctors cure them, what can we say? Often, we are the accomplices of our sons and daughters, and together we deceive the patients by describing the tumor as an inflammatory disease that can definitely be cured. It seems to comfort the patients and give them some hope.
A female patient with lung cancer, from the initial discovery of lung cancer to the final advanced stage of diffuse lung cancer and massive pleural fluid, the family kept telling the patient that it was pneumonia. As her condition worsened, she always asked the doctor, “How come you can’t cure pneumonia? Later the patient could not lie down with difficulty in holding her breath and was in so much pain that she did not have a few days to live and eventually did not even have the strength to question the doctor. But still thought he was suffering from pneumonia. The patient’s one son and one daughter, who were very filial, stayed by his side all day during his hospitalization. They thought that hiding the disease was the best way to protect their mother. Soon, the patient finally could not support her life anymore and left with bewilderment and confusion. She was not prepared and did not arrange her own afterlife. Can her spirit in heaven be at ease?
Another 80 year old gentleman had bladder cancer, hematuria and what seemed to be a little metastasis from the prostate. The children, as usual, did not let their condition be known, telling them that it was inflammation, and for fear of revealing it, they did not take the patient to the oncology hospital for consultation. The actual fact is that you can find a lot of people who are not able to get to the top of the list. The patient looked at the unstoppable hematuria and was in a terrible mood, complaining that the doctors’ treatment was ineffective. The children concealed the disease and also undertook the decision not to give anti-tumor treatment. The patient did not know what kind of disease he had, so he did not know how to decide to choose his own treatment and lost the opportunity to be treated. The children also said that it was to protect the patient from the shock of learning about the cancer.
Both patients, who had normal thinking, had the ability to make decisions for themselves, but were deprived of it by their children. I think their intentions were for the good of the patients, but the good intentions did an irreparable bad thing. They disrespected the lives of the elderly and forcibly took away their right to decide their own lives, leaving them bewildered and ignorant. The ignorance of the relatives caused irreparable sadness.
We have seen many patients who knew they had an incurable disease, but after they experienced anxiety, fear and panic about the disease, most of them were able to face the reality of the disease and think calmly about themselves, and make decisions and choices about their own disease treatment, arrange their own afterlife, fulfill some unfinished wishes, and then face the disease openly, accept the reality, and be prepared to leave their lives while actively treating them.
I hope that friends who care for their relatives must not deprive patients of their right to know about their lives, believe in their ability to overcome their illness and accept death, and accompany them on their final journey with the best care, so that they can leave with understanding and dignity.
Death – it’s beautiful ……