Children go to school, mothers have become “lazy”! Is the mother really lazy or fake lazy? As children grow up, more and more parents now enroll them in various interest classes, lest their children lose at the “starting line”, indeed, parents all over the world have a heart to see their children become a dragon and hope that their daughter will become a phoenix. So, worry more and more …… But, do you know what are the adverse effects of extra worry in exercising children’s ability to do things independently? The following are the tips from Bev to you: 1, lazy pick up and drop off – walk to school alone! When my son first started elementary school, his father sent him a few times. But I never picked him up and dropped him off because my son was at most one kilometer from home to school, just across a road, and there were not many cars coming and going. After teaching him about safety, I asked him to walk on his own, with the fancy name of “practicing light work”. One night, he didn’t go to bed on time and got up late the next day, asking me to send him on my bike, but I deliberately said that I was late for work and couldn’t send him. He was so angry that he stomped his feet while jogging to school and was punished for being late by sweeping the floor. I knew he was afraid of being punished by the teacher, so I had to let him be late once to learn a lesson and correct his late sleeping. Sure enough, he went to bed at 8:30 and went to bed on time to make sure he got up early the next day. If he had been sent to bed that time, I’m afraid it would have been difficult to form good habits. Tips: Let your child walk to school by himself, not only to exercise, but also to develop the good habit of not relying on others. 2. Lazy chaperones – do your own homework independently! I only remind my son when it’s time to do his homework and report back to me when he’s done. When it comes to homework that needs to be checked, I always ask him to check it himself, and I only sign it. He said with great displeasure, “Everyone else’s mom checks it, why are you so lazy?” I reasoned with him, “It’s not that mommy is lazy, think about it, if I checked it for you, would you still check it? If you make a mistake in the exam, who will check it for you? If you make small mistakes, you will make big mistakes in the exam.” If he didn’t know the meaning of a certain vocabulary word, he came to ask me in order to save time, and I told him to check the dictionary by himself, so he had to check it one by one in order to finish his homework. Afterwards, I was thinking about the reason why he didn’t like to look up the dictionary, and it turned out that he was not skilled enough to look up the radicals. So I came up with an idea to play a dictionary competition with him, listing the words and seeing who could look them up quickly, and I deliberately lost to him. After playing with him a few times, his dictionary speed increased greatly and he no longer considered it a problem. Now he even takes the initiative to help his classmates look up the dictionary. Teaching Tips: Don’t be too diligent in guiding your child’s learning, but learn to find out what your child can do and what he can let go of to help him think independently, and what he can’t do and needs help with. 3, lazy nagging – do more and say less to cultivate self-awareness! Some parents to urge their children to study, day and night like a sparrow nagging an endless. I do not know, repeat the words more, but he does not take it seriously. On the weekend, he played games for a long time and didn’t do his homework, so I asked, “What time are you going to play?” He looked at the clock and said, “I’ll play for ten more minutes.” Good, keep your word.” Ten minutes passed, I returned to see that he was still playing, I held back my anger and said calmly on my face, “Don’t you usually say that you have to keep your word?” He got embarrassed, smiled apologetically and immediately turned off the computer. Before that, I had taught my child the sense of being a man of his word, so he could accept this situation happily. In the future, when he plays games, I want him to set his own time, and when the time is up, he must turn off the computer immediately. At first, he also wanted me to supervise, but later I secretly observed and found that he was conscious and stopped playing as soon as the time was up. The most important thing to remember is that “diligent” education is not necessarily effective, but it depends on what is diligent. If you are diligent in nagging and reasoning, but the effect is not good; if you are diligent in finding ways and countermeasures, and can effectively implement is worth learning. 4, lazy hands – not to do to foster independence in doing things! Where my son can do, I do not help. For example, when his room is messy, I remind him that it’s time to tidy up, but I’m happy to watch him tidy up. At the beginning of the school year, the teacher asked me to wrap the book covers on the new books, and he couldn’t do it, so I taught him. After the first wrapping was done (very lame, of course), I let go and told him to wrap it himself. He did not like the trouble and showed impatience, I ignored it and just “pointed out” next to guide some, see me as a gentleman “mouth not hands”, he had to be patient package. If I help him finish wrapping the book for the sake of speed, he will never be able to wrap a second, better book cover. The most important thing to remember is that if you do something for your child, or even if you do it for your child, your child will be dependent and passive, and there is no way to develop responsibility. Let your child jump and pick the fruit. To Mom: Parents should let go when they should let go, be ruthless when they should be ruthless, be lazy when they should be lazy, and put the worry and concern in their hearts silently. The child can only form good study habits and the ability to live independently.