Those who live in the city want to rush out, those who live outside the city want to rush in. Marriage or profession, most of life’s aspirations are like this. –Qian Zhongshu Weiwei is a 38-year-old divorced woman who lives by herself with her 8-year-old child. Vivi’s own words: I am in love with a man who has a family, but I have no intention of marrying him, I just love him and call him often, but seldom see him. He is very busy and so is my work. After experiencing a hurt marriage, I don’t want to easily walk into the siege of marriage again. I for him, is from appreciation, admiration development to love, progress quickly. But what about him to me? According to my own feeling, at best, I just like it, right? Vivi’s Dream: Scene 1:While my brother and I are playing at home, a familiar girl walks in and says, “I told you to eat less salad oil, almonds, and all that, or your blood vessels will easily get clogged.” Then she closed the door and left. I follow and see her off, but when I close the door, I can’t close it several times, as if the lock is broken. Scene 2:Neighbor Annie was wearing a black fur coat, black leather hat, black boots, fashionable look, smiling while walking out with her two classmates, a boy and a girl, saying they were attending an event. I also came to the activity site, where others are very leisurely, relaxed and happy to wait for the start of the activity, but I have to be busy to scattered everywhere in the just washed to be cooled children’s clothing are picked up, I thought of picking up quickly, or else later the activity will start to affect other people to see the program. I saw my elementary school classmate Liu Yang and her girlfriend sitting there, his demeanor, care for his girlfriend and meticulous like a little brother. When he saw me, he smiled and praised me for my competence while feeding her girlfriend peeled melon seeds. I picked up some children’s wet clothes from their table and was about to leave when his girlfriend suddenly shoved a small plush toy covered in powdered sugar into my hand and said, “For you!” As I looked at the little thing in my hand, I thanked her and asked, “Is this a kitten or a puppy? Why is it covered in sugar? Isn’t it sweet? Can I eat it?” They both laughed. I walk out of the meeting. Scene 3:Neighbors in the yard and square chatting after dinner. Neighbor Fourth Master and his partner are listening to others praising his son, “Look how well your son and daughter-in-law are doing! I’ve never seen the two of them quarrel. The fourth master and his wife were very happy. The fourth master said: “You do not know, he also often quarrel with his wife, not moving to pack their own things to move away, or to drive his wife to move away. But the quarrels are still quarrelsome, the two have been living quite well now”. The old couple was very happy and relieved. The man said, “Yes, they understand that in the end, they are husband and wife, a thousand years of fate, they know to cherish ah!” I was listening to them and thought to myself, “What they are praising is so much like him! No matter how he plays outside, he can always put his wife in the right position. He and his wife are the fate of a thousand years! Scene 4: When I think of this, I don’t know why, but my heart is full of sourness. Back to an aunt’s house, I feel so bad that I fell down beside her and cried. “Auntie’s house is just like my aunt’s house, but the “auntie” is not my young aunt, but an old lady in her sixties. I sobbed sadly, she sat next to me, with a very thin, very thin wire like a soft whip to beat my back, although wearing clothes, but every whip down, as if directly to the skin, stinging itchy pain. She hit me while saying “you this child, what benefit into broken have told you, you also understand, but why still do so go on?” While being beaten by her, feeling her “hate steel” rebuke, I thought in my heart, “the more he can grasp himself, the more he knows how to cherish his wife, the more I love him, even though he didn’t call me immediately after the exam. This kind of love is hopeless.” He himself knew that he would be miserable, so he still just cried sadly. Cry until your heart gets hard and suddenly you wake up.” Analysis of the dream From the content of the dream It is clear from Vivi’s dream that Vivi is a woman of very delicate feelings, which is why the dream is very long and the scenes are very complex. However, the fact that these four different scenes appear consecutively in the same dream must mean that these four scenes of the dream are about the same thing. As seen in scene 2, Annie’s one dress is not only fashionable, but also very sexy, and she is smiling and going to an event with a man and a woman, clearly alluding to a sex-related event. Moreover, it is also clear from the later reference to the classmate pampering his girlfriend like a little brother that the activity refers to intimacy between a man and a woman. But why was there a lot of people at the event? Sex is an intimate issue! Therefore, this event actually refers to a marriage event based on the intimate relationship between a man and a woman. In this way, it is easy to understand why Vivi felt in her dream that everyone else was leisurely and relaxed, while she was busy picking up the children’s clothes that were scattered all over the place. This suggests that in Weiwei’s original married life, she was mainly busy taking care of the children, but did not enjoy the leisure and relaxation of marriage very much. Scene 3 is a more straightforward dream, further demonstrating that although couples may have quarrels, it is perfectly possible for them not to affect the marital relationship. In her dream, Vivi is thus reminded that her current boyfriend, whom she loves, also has extramarital affairs, but it does not affect his relationship with his wife. In Scene 4, when Weiwei sees that her neighbors, classmates, brother and other people’s sons and daughters-in-law in her dream all have very happy marriages and love affairs, she can’t help but be touched by feelings of sadness and cry sadly. She is now this love, just like a very fine and thin wire whip, one by one, lashed on her body, this pain is as solid as a wire pain, but also like a soft whip, let her pain is difficult to speak. But in the midst of that pain was an itching longing. Sure enough, in the later dream, Weiwei suffers the reproach while confessing her heart in the dream. It turns out that the reason why she loves her current boyfriend is precisely because he is a man who is responsible for his marriage, and that the bunch of grapes is so tantalizing. However, the fox under the tree doesn’t say that the grapes are sour and walks away in the dream, but rather waits with all his heart for the bunch of grapes to fall by itself someday. The pungency of not being able to get the grapes made Weiwei suffer from the cone of pain in the dream as well, until she couldn’t bear it anymore and woke up. By this point in the analysis, the general content of the dream is clear to us, but what does scene 1 of the dream represent? Also, what does the conversation between her and her classmate’s girlfriend represent? What about the little stuffed toy covered in powdered sugar? Why was it an older aunt who was lecturing her? Tracing the Roots to the Dreamer Vivi was born into an ordinary working-class family and had an unfortunate early childhood. Her mother was shrewish and bad-tempered, so Vivi grew up in the midst of her parents’ quarrels. Later, her parents divorced and Weiwei was brought up by her grandmother. Vivi’s ex-husband, on the other hand, was not only very good in terms of his family background, but also in terms of his qualifications and work. Vivi met and fell in love with her ex-husband at the age of 19 and married him at the age of 22. At that time, Vivi’s family did not approve of their union for fear that she would not be able to grasp this wonderful husband. She spent a long and enviable time in her marriage with her ex-husband. Both of them cared about their careers and didn’t have children until they were 30 years old. 2~3 years ago, Weiwei’s ex-husband’s career is not good, the unit where the interpersonal relationship is complicated, and the position has not been promoted. The usual socializing began to increase, and often do not sleep at night, and a group of friends bubble in the concert hall. Although Weiwei did not catch it face to face, but she felt that her husband had an affair, so she and her husband’s relationship deteriorated, often quarrels, and even hands, for which Weiwei filed for divorce, the child to her custody. Weiwei grew up living in her grandmother’s house, and her relationship with her young aunt was very good. When she fell in love with her current boyfriend, her aunt once advised her not to pursue a fruitless love. Some time ago, Weiwei’s biological mother was hospitalized for suffering from blood vessel blockage. The meaning of Weiwei’s dream became completely clear. Weiwei’s biological mother suffered from vascular blockage, so Weiwei was reminded in her dream that due to genetic factors, she would have a higher chance of suffering from the same disease, so she should pay attention to her diet, and that the familiar girl was actually herself. So what does the broken lock represent? Lock, has the meaning of heart lock, and we usually always say, one key opens one lock, so the lock, in dreams, often represents a one-to-one couple relationship. In Vivi’s dream, the broken lock represents both the breakdown of her mother’s marriage as well as hers, in addition to alluding to cardiovascular blockage. Therefore, this dream alludes to the fact that Weiwei’s mother’s health is affected because of her marriage breakup. The dream is reminding Weiwei not to damage her health by crying over her marital setbacks, ah! The plush little toy in Vivi’s dream was obviously a replacement for her new boyfriend and this relationship she had acquired, still covered in powdered sugar, sweet and adorable. Vivi, however, is skeptical about the relationship; she doesn’t know if it’s a kitten or a puppy? And she doesn’t know if it can be eaten? We usually say that a cat is a traitor and a dog is a loyal subject, do kittens and puppies appear correspondingly in dreams, representing loyalty or betrayal? And whether they can be eaten or not means whether they are useful or not. So, the meaning of Weiwei’s passage to her classmate’s girlfriend in the dream is: “Falling in love with a married man is indeed a sweet love, but I don’t know if that man is loyal or betrayal to you? This love affair is just a toy that can’t be turned into a marriage.” The aunt is an amalgamation of Vivi’s aunt and her grandmother, representing the advice of her relatives, so the age of the aunt in her dream is exactly between that of her aunt and grandmother. The elders’ appearance in the dream also represents the primal wisdom’s guidance to the dreamer, apparently instructing Vivi to break away from the fruitless relationship. The Role of Dreams What do we mean by primal wisdom? According to Jung, the events and emotions experienced by human beings over generations can eventually leave traces on the mind through heredity, and such hereditary original traces are called archetypes. Archetypes often appear in dreams as the image of teachers, elders, bearded men and other wise men, and their reminders to the dreamer are all the crystallization of the original wisdom that human beings have passed down through the generations, and if you understand the dream, you will be able to obtain the help of the original wisdom. Therefore, dreams have the function of transmitting primitive wisdom. Dreams hit the subconscious mind directly. Weiwei’s statement that she did not want to enter the siege of marriage because she had experienced a wounded marriage was only Weiwei’s thoughts at the conscious level. Instead, in Vivi’s subconscious mind, she desperately desires to have a happy and fulfilling marriage, and inwardly hopes that the beautiful bunch of grapes that is her current boyfriend will fall off the tree. When the primal wisdom told her to leave this fruitless relationship, Vivi insisted on her opinion in the dream, and eventually Vivi woke up without getting results. Thoughtful Reminder Vivi’s parents were divorced, so what Vivi learned from her life experience was not how to hold on to the marriage relationship when it was in crisis, and how to properly handle and resolve conflicts, but rather to get divorced and leave it at that. However, Vivi did learn how to live a good life after divorce. Vivi’s own success has also taught her that divorced parents are not scary, and that one can bring up children just as well. However, Vivi also envies those who are able to handle both husband-wife relationship and extramarital affair well. But I want Weiwei to think about this: you love a man who can handle both marriage and extramarital affairs, but when the beautiful grapes fall, doesn’t it also mean that he has failed to handle both relationships at the same time? Will you still love him then? Will you still marry him? Instead of just suffering that pain the next time you have a similar dream, Vivi can choose to be brave enough to come forward and talk to the wise man in the dream and discuss the matter fully with him/her. Or you can also find a day to intentionally incubate the dream by choosing a suitable night, not being overly tired, not taking medication, not taking drugs, such as having 20 minutes of undisturbed silence before going to bed, keeping paper and pen by your pillow, and recording the dream as soon as you wake up to avoid forgetting it, so as to be ready to analyze it when you have time. Meditate in your mind on the issues you wish to discuss in the dream, keep the questions simple and clear, you can focus on the aunt you last dreamed about, repeat in your mind a silent invitation for her to appear in the dream, and discuss it with her as soon as she appears in the dream. This is not to say that Vivi must give up on the relationship, but a conversation with a wise person can at least stop her from continuing to suffer and cry in the relationship and from hurting herself. A master marriage and family therapist was interviewed at her 50-year golden wedding, and a reporter asked her what her secret was to maintaining a 50-year marriage. She smiled and said that she insisted on not getting divorced when her marriage was in crisis!