The Gesser Institute of Child Development at Yale University has been following children for over 40 years and their findings are so helpful to us in reading them! The 6-year-old: entering a stormy second rebellious phase of life, with extreme personality polarization He has the ability to turn around and hate things he just loved with all his heart. The center of his world is no longer his mother, but himself, and he wants everything to be the way he wants it to be. 6-year-olds move between the extremes of being very good and very rebellious at the same time, and it is very common for 6-year-olds to write strokes or numbers backwards. He is competitive in everything and has difficulty tolerating any failure. And he is now in a very vulnerable and sensitive period. Nightmares can also cause great distress to a 6-year-old. The biggest problem is that his relationship with his mother is also bipolar, as he is deeply dependent on her while at the same time trying to stand up for himself and psychologically hoping he won’t have to depend on anyone. At 6 years old, the distinction between “his own things” and “other people’s things” is not yet clear, so it is common for him to take away other people’s things that he likes. 7 year old: no longer talks back to you like he did when he was 6 years old, but he is not as social. He tends to have a poor memory, is easily distracted, dawdles at work, and is not interested in helping with chores. When people ask him to do something, he often doesn’t answer or act for a long time. He lives in his own secret garden, filled with a sentimental tone. The 7-year-old easily imagines everything in a bad light. The 7-year-old cares about not being late for school, getting his homework done on time, and receiving his things in his own place; from this time on, the child knows how to care about what others think of him. To be precise, he starts to care about what his teachers think of him, and he starts to want to be a good student that satisfies his teachers. Moreover, his mind is mature enough to need his own space. This is the reason why he likes to receive his own things in his own place. If able, this is the time when a child needs his own desk, his own drawer, his own box, his own bed. Not only has the 7-year-old’s handwriting become much smaller, but he also likes to specialize in figuring out very small things because their eyes and brains are cooperating to this stage of development. He will like to get very close to look very close, even if his eyes touch the thing. Seven-year-olds are very concerned about their place and value in the family. Although the establishment of moral values does not begin to take shape until the age of 8, the 7-year-old is already showing the beginnings of establishing a sense of morality. He begins to care about not taking other people’s things (although occasionally he still does); he can’t lie or cheat, and he doesn’t go to deny or push the commission when he does something wrong; and he will be very willing to follow the rules and abide by them without fail. The 8-year-old’s “signature trait” is an outgoing and cheerful personality. In complete contrast to the 7-year-old’s sullen retreat, he is energetic and likes to rise to all difficulties and challenges, and is much quicker to do things. Another complete opposite of the 7-year-old is that he suddenly becomes a talker. He is suddenly demanding of himself and others, even very demanding. This “scrutiny” also allows him to have a fairly accurate judgment of what is within his reach. Another milestone of growth for 8-year-olds is that they begin to develop a sense of moral right and wrong and to understand the cause and effect relationship between things. He is very willing to be a good boy, to get things done, and to follow the rules. His notion of good and bad is no longer limited to whether or not his parents allow it, but he is primed to develop a sense of right and wrong based on his budding cause-and-effect logic. Prior to this, the child’s judgment of “good” and “bad” came from the parent’s “permission” or “disapproval”. The 8-year-old child’s judgment of “right” and “wrong” comes from the parent’s “permission” or “disapproval. The 8-year-old’s perception of “right and wrong” is no longer simply a polarity of “good and bad”; his thinking is beginning to flesh out. He cares about how he feels about himself and how others feel about him. He listens to what adults say about him when they talk to him, or to their faces when they talk, and he is very eager to receive approval and praise from others, and very sensitive to criticism from others. So when he is blamed and criticized, he tends to make excuses or blame others first so that he can bear it more easily. An 8-year-old is the age when he needs his mother most emotionally. He very much needs his mom to share his thoughts, fantasies, conversations, and games. He always likes to spend time with his mom, including working, playing, talking, and reading together, which makes him feel like he has “all of her”. No matter how busy a mother is, she must set aside at least half an hour every day to satisfy her child’s psychological need to “have all of her mother”. This will help your child get through his or her psychological attachment to his or her mother and lay the groundwork for him or her to move openly toward independence at age 9. At this time, he is full of interest in exploration and adventure, and his sense of space has expanded considerably. He can take the bus home on familiar paths by himself, explore more and more of his own neighborhood, and even cross the border into other people’s private yards. He loves geography and enjoys studying and even using maps. It is important to note, however, that 8-year-olds have the highest rate of injury of any age group. The 8-year-old is sensitive to the relationship between his parents. He becomes attentive to what is happening in the home, including following adult phone calls, letters, and small talk, trying to find a place in the family. He enjoys playing with children his own age and likes to play with children of the same gender. This is a true two-way friendship because he is no longer purely self-centered and begins to pay attention to what others are doing and thinking. Not only is he willing to serve others, but he also expects others to be as willing to reciprocate as he is.