Abstract: Bullying and being bullied typically begin with preschoolers, and because four- and five-year-olds are trying to validate their power in the world, they are likely to act bossy, controlling, and like to hit to express their will, so fights between children occur from time to time. Bullying can be preemptively defended Parents can prevent their children from being bullied and from being hurt as a result by taking appropriate steps in advance. For example Ensure that your child grows up in a loving, compassionate and respectful parent-child relationship The most fundamental way to prevent a child from being bullied or a bully is to – ensure that he grows up in a loving, compassionate and respectful parent-child relationship, rather than in an environment controlled by violence and power. If parents use physical punishment, such as slapping, to discipline their children, the children will either learn that violence is the most direct and effective way to solve relationship problems, or they will become weak and timid; if parents are accustomed to using power to force their children, the children will either learn to bully or become accustomed to submitting to the power. 2. Keep in communication with your child Lonely children are more likely to be bullied. Remember, one of the most important responsibilities of being a parent is – to maintain a close connection with your child both mentally and emotionally. No matter what the situation is, it is important to keep an open line of communication with your child. 3. Develop your child’s social skills Children who don’t fit in are more likely to be bullied. From a young age, it is important to develop your child’s social skills, such as playing role-playing games at home to make friends, reading relevant picture books and telling stories, and taking your child to participate in group activities. Teach your child how to introduce himself/herself, how to learn how to observe other people, and how to mingle with other children in different situations. 4. Teach children negotiation skills to defend themselves Children need to know that when they are offended, they can defend their legitimate rights and interests in a respectable way, instead of fighting back with violence. For example, they can be taught to learn to properly articulate their demands starting with the following saying: “Now it’s my turn.” “Please take your hands off me.” “Hitting is not right.” “I don’t like being called that, you should call me by my name.” 5. teach your child the basics of self-protection Bullying always occurs when adults are not present, so teach your child to avoid unsupervised hallways, bathrooms, playgrounds, etc. Sit in the front of the school bus, stand at the front of the line, sit near staff when eating in the cafeteria, etc. 6. tell your child that there is nothing to be ashamed of if he or she is being bullied, and to be decisive in telling an adult Sometimes a small incident of bullying can escalate, and saving face shouldn’t take precedence over life and limb. 7. Intervene when it is time to intervene When you find such a situation, you need to actively communicate with the people involved, such as the other parent, teacher, etc., and not leave the child alone to suffer. Pay particular attention to the hidden damage of non-violent behavior, such as verbal aggression and ostracism, which may have a profound effect on the child. How to heal if your child is being bullied The best way to help your preschooler vent the anxiety and hurt that builds up in his or her daily life is: play. 1. If your child is being bullied and hurt, suggest that parents (especially dads) play a game with your child with the theme of “strength”. For example, grab 2 stuffed animals and have them “play” with each other, with one pushing the other. But remember, you’re not trying to recreate a situation in which your child was hurt, but rather to make him laugh and let out the tension and fear that builds up when he’s being bullied. So let the pushed stuffed animal stand up and hilariously fight back, whatever it is, however funny it is. You’ll notice that after playing a game like this, he may laugh out loud, or he may get angry or start sobbing. This means that he is baring his wounded heart to you. Embrace these feelings before he can offload them, “It’s okay to cry, honey, Daddy’s here, Daddy’s going to protect you, I’m right here.” 2. Alternatively, create a special time each day, say 1 hour each day At this time, tell your child “Daddy wants to play a special game with you. Daddy is going to play a big monster today, like this!” , put on a menacing face and roar to make the effect more realistic, and say, “I’m coming to get you!” , and then roar and chase the child, making the child run away in excitement. Role-playing games like this will break down your child’s deep-seated fear of powerful things and remove the socialization shadow that comes with being bullied. Give your child the chance to be the stronger one – the monster with great intelligence and strength, or the little hero who defeats the monster! Praise him for his bravery: “Wow, you’re awesome!” “Oh, the monster was defeated by you!” Be extremely funny throughout. In games like this the child gradually builds up a sense of confidence that he is strong and brave. High Emotional Intelligence honed from dealing with bullies How to protect oneself from bullies is a great honing of emotional intelligence. As your child enters elementary school, you can teach your child more ways to deal with provocation and conflict. Make sure your child understands that bullies show their power by provoking others, and that if the victim loses control of his emotions or fights back impulsively, he is playing right into the hands of his victim. Therefore, the best strategy when it comes to teasing and provocation is to remain calm, always maintain your dignity and let the other person retain theirs, do not attack, do not demean the other person, and try to take it lightly. Based on this basic strategy, here are six very effective ways to defend yourself. 1. Defend yourself firmly Teach your child not to lose ground in the face of bullying by standing up straight and using a strong voice to clearly stop the offending behavior. “This is not funny. Stop!” 2. Respond to Provocation with Rationality It is possible to respond rationally to an offense with a non-defensive question. “Why did you say that?” 3. Use “I want” to make a point Communication experts suggest teaching your child to use “I want” expressions to deal with provocation and offense, such as saying firmly, “I want you to leave me alone. ” or “I want you to stop making fun of me.” 4. Ignore him The provocateur likes to see the victim in pain. Teach your child to ignore bad jokes by pretending not to see or hear them, by averting his eyes to look at something he likes, and by drifting past them with complete disinterest. 5. Pandering to the teaser This is a great emotional intelligence skill. For example, being provoked: “Hey, four-eyes!” Respond flatly, “You’re right, I have poor eyesight. 6, play a sense of humor When a child is being bullied, if you can use the spirit of self-deprecation clever response, often the acrimonious situation can be dissolved into thin air. Suppose someone says, “You’re stupid.” The child responds, “Really?” “So?” “Oh, thanks for telling me.” In the protection of children from bullying, parents’ direct protection is ultimately limited, the most important thing is to improve the child’s own level of emotional intelligence, such as calm and collected emotional control, social skills and negotiation and communication skills, bravery and optimism, self-healing ability, etc., because low emotional intelligence of the children who do not fit in is more likely to be bullied, and a high level of emotional intelligence can also help the child to encounter the provocation of the time to cope skillfully, And high EQ can also help children respond skillfully to provocations and minimize the problems when they are provoked. Therefore, the key to preventing children from being bullied and the resulting harm lies in parents’ education of their children’s emotional intelligence.