Case: My name is Zhang Qiang, 34 years old, is a university teacher, half a year ago my wife gave birth to a daughter for me, and I was in the maternity ward to accompany the delivery, see the bloody scene, hear hissing from his wife due to severe pain, I am a bit scared confused. Despite the nausea that flooded my stomach, I insisted on cutting the baby’s umbilical cord myself. However, ever since then, I have constantly recalled the scene of my wife’s labor, during meals, while watching TV, and especially “that time” ……. At first I thought it was just a shock and would get better after a while, but now half a year later, the situation has not improved at all, and I have never been interested in sex, even when my wife took the initiative, and reluctantly acted on her own initiative, but also ended in failure. What’s even worse is that as soon as I close my eyes recently, I can see the baby’s head coming out of the birth canal, and sometimes I even wake up in my sleep. This situation has seriously affected my life and work, and my wife is worried about me and feels helpless. I posted to the internet and found that there are not a few gentlemen in the same situation as me. Are we all mentally ill and will we all have to live like this from now on? I look forward to your guidance! Expert Answer: Hello, Mr. Zhang. Your condition is called “postpartum syndrome”, which is mainly caused by the fear of accompanying the labor. Husbands to accompany the birth of the first appeared in the 1980s, and now accompany his wife in labor, hands for the newborn baby cut the umbilical cord, has gradually become a kind of expression of love fashion. It is understood that today nearly 90% of European husbands will accompany their wives into the delivery room. Although the husband accompanied by labor can ease the wife’s tension and pain, is conducive to speeding up the process, but more and more research shows that accompaniment may be a double-edged sword. A survey conducted by a Japanese health care organization found that about 50% of men who witnessed their wife’s labor experienced varying degrees of loss of libido, and in severe cases, even erectile dysfunction. Most of the men who had accompanied their wives to labor and cut the umbilical cord with their own hands said that they were so scared that they did not dare to approach their wives again. And as to the reasons for this and the correlation with their own boldness. Psychologists believe that this fear of witnessing labor does not depend on boldness or timidity, so it is impossible to make an accurate prediction. The reasons for this fear may be: 1) the husband’s own weak mental capacity; 2) the poor image of the wife during labor; 3) the bloody scene of labor; 4) the wife’s hysterical roar due to the pain, and so on. For husbands who do not have medical knowledge, all of these can lead to fear and depression, and even erectile dysfunction. Most of these men are not psychologically prepared for what they are going to see. When they see the head of the fetus extruding from the woman’s vagina, and see their wives’ faces distorted by pain, they will have a psychological reaction of fear, and the more serious ones may compulsively recall the scenes of labor and delivery in their later sexual life, especially the moment when the baby’s head comes out from the birth canal, which will make them feel alienated from their wives. Feelings, greatly reducing the sexual attractiveness of their wives in their eyes, seriously dampen their sexual excitement, the situation is serious will have a direct impact on the feelings between husband and wife. The reason for the loss of libido may be the birth of a newborn baby from the female pussy during labor and delivery “horror” scene destroyed the men for the female genitals and sex of the beautiful fantasy, resulting in the fear of sexual life. If the loss of libido caused by this fear persists and cannot be eliminated, it may eventually evolve into “sexual aversion”. “Sexual aversion” refers to a persistent aversion to sexual activity or thoughts, and avoidance of all genital contact with sexual partners. Once the “after-effects of escorted labor” appear, it is necessary to get out of the shadow of fear as soon as possible. On the one hand, we should actively seek the help of psychiatrists, through appropriate psychological treatment, such as hypnotherapy to eliminate the fear. If there is a significant loss of libido or erectile dysfunction, the possibility of concomitant organic diseases cannot be completely ruled out. After the exclusion of organic diseases through serum sex hormone and erectile function test, mainly rely on psychological treatment. On the other hand, the wife also plays a very important role in the treatment process. For the husband’s sexual desire or erectile dysfunction should not be blamed, should be encouraged and comforted. Even if the husband has symptoms of sexual aversion, must be understood, otherwise it will aggravate the condition. Treatment in addition to psychological counseling, but also by the wife with the “sexy concentration training”. During the treatment, the wife should warmly encourage her husband to improve his sexual desire; the husband can also tell his wife about his sexual demands. When the husband is in discomfort, do not force him to act, but pause and comfort him. Through the above psychological treatment and “sexy concentration training”, the vast majority of men can restore the normal psychological state, and reproduce a harmonious sex life. At the same time, in order to avoid the above situation, husbands can choose to choose in the wife’s labor outside the delivery room “waiting for the good news”. If you insist on guarding your wife at the last moment, you need to pay attention to the following three points: (1) receive prenatal system training. Accompanying the delivery must receive systematic pregnancy education, understand the wife may occur during labor and delivery of a variety of situations, a comprehensive grasp of the labor and delivery of support and comfort his wife’s skills. (2) Psychological assessment. Take the initiative to communicate with the obstetrician to dispel any fears that may arise during labor. For husbands with poor psychological quality or “bloodsickness”, psychological counseling is recommended, so that a professional doctor can assess whether the psychological condition is suitable for accompanying the delivery. (3) Skills of accompanying labor. Using the skills learned in the training, stand beside the wife, hold her hand, and say some encouraging words at the end of each contraction, such as “Don’t be afraid”, “Go for it”, “You can do it! You can do it.” When the mother is encouraged, she will have more confidence. After the baby comes out, no matter male or female, the husband should not be too pleased or disappointed, but should immediately thank his wife and comfort her to have a good rest. And the wife should not force her husband to accompany the labor. Not all husbands who accompany the labor will be good fathers and husbands, and prospective fathers who don’t accompany the labor will not love their children much less, which should be based on the husband’s actual physical and psychological conditions. In addition, if the husband has psychological or physiological disorders after accompanying the delivery, he should go to the hospital in time to receive psychological counseling, so as not to lay hidden dangers for the future life.