It is not an independent mental illness, but can be a personality trait, a more common psychological feature of certain physical or mental illnesses, or a secondary symptom. The inability to express emotions appropriately and the lack of fantasy are common in patients with psychosomatic disorders, neuroses, and various psychological disorders. The poor perception of mood changes and poor response to psychotherapy often adversely affects treatment. Hesitation disorders may occur in patients with many diseases, such as coronary heart disease, rheumatoid arthritis, migraine, etc.; gastrointestinal diseases and skin diseases related to psychological factors. In addition, mental disorders such as neurosis, psychogenic pain, etc.
Emotional expression training
Although the majority of adolescents with social anxiety do not have typical narrative disorders, most of them lack the ability to appropriately describe and express their own and others’ emotions from their performance. In addition, from the positive side, good interpersonal communication is inseparable from emotional expression. Therefore, to solve one’s social anxiety, it is also necessary to train oneself to express emotions.
The goals of emotional expression training are to be able to feel and identify one’s own emotions and those of others, to be able to describe them in precise terms, and to be able to understand one’s own emotions and those of others and express or regulate them in an appropriate way.
Developing Empathy
Without empathy DD that is, the attitude and ability to put oneself in other people’s shoes DD can not talk about appropriate emotional expression, let alone good interpersonal relationships, not to mention that social anxiety in adolescents is sometimes caused by the lack of empathy. Therefore, emotional expression training needs to start with developing empathy.
Empathy is both an attitude and an ability. As an attitude, it is expressed as concern, acceptance, understanding, and valuing of others; as an ability, it is expressed as the ability to fully understand what is going on in another person’s mind and to express that understanding in a caring, warm and respectful way.
People who are empathetic can easily build harmonious interpersonal relationships with others, and when conflicts arise with others, they can deal with them in a calm and constructive manner.
For example, if someone steps on your foot on the bus, your first reaction is naturally to be upset, but if you have the ability to empathize, you will think from the other person’s point of view: “He didn’t mean to step on me, no one would intentionally step on someone else and get himself into trouble.” When you think of it this way, your displeasure will naturally disappear.
Examples of this abound in life.
That is why it is said that empathy cannot change reality, but it can change our mood. Any constructive interpersonal relationship presupposes empathy.
Empathy, both as an attitude and as an ability, can be improved through training.
Improving one’s own empathy
Refers to increasing one’s sensitivity to the emotional reactions of others.
Get rid of self-centeredness and learn to pay attention to others.
Vocabulary substitution exercises for emotional descriptors. For example, replacement words for “worry” include: unhappy, depressed, upset, distressed, etc., and replacement words for “happy” include: happy, elated, delighted, giddy, etc.
Experience human emotions through watching and analyzing movies, novels, poems, etc.
Develop sensitivity to human needs. For example, a sigh, an expression of desire to speak, or a tug at the corner of the mouth may reflect a person’s needs. Learn to quickly detect the needs of others from these subtle changes in expression.
Improve understanding of others
Understanding starts with listening and ends with expressing your understanding accurately.
Learn to listen (focus, make no value judgments, confirm questions by asking them, express understanding and concern, etc.).
Increase understanding of others by observing non-verbal information (expressions, gaze, standing and sitting posture, interpersonal space, tone of voice, speed of speech, intonation, etc.).
Improve understanding of others by using transpersonal thinking.
Learn to express empathy
Express understanding of people’s emotions (reference sentence: “You feel ……”).
Express understanding of people’s intentions (reference sentence: “What you want to say is ……”).
Expresses respect for the other person’s feelings and intentions (“I know it’s important to you ……”).
Express concern for the other person (“Do you need me to do something for you?”).
The above describes some of the ways to develop empathy. The methods actually vary from person to person, and as long as we have concern, understanding and respect for others, we can express our understanding and care for others in an infinite variety of ways.
The ability to express positive emotions toward others appropriately
Such positive emotions include liking, admiration, praise, gratitude, etc. Adolescents with social anxiety are often shy about expressing their liking and appreciation to others and take praising others as flattery. As mentioned earlier, people like those who like them, and when you praise others from your heart, they will be happy from the bottom of their hearts.
The expression of gratitude is also important, some people think that others have done something for them, they remember it in their hearts, do not need to say it. However, if you do not say it, others will not know, and will mistakenly think that you lack of gratitude.
The basic principle of expressing emotions is to be truthful about things, not about people. Here are some reference sentence patterns that you can modify to suit your situation and practice in a role-playing manner.
Expressing liking: “I like your sincerity as a person, which makes me feel relaxed when I am with you.”
Expressing appreciation: “I appreciate this point of view of yours, it has an originality beyond.”
Expressing gratitude: “Thank you for your help, I feel better now.”
Expressing concern: “Is there anything I can do for you?”
Able to express negative emotions about others appropriately
Such negative emotions include: resentment, anger, disappointment, anger, etc.
We usually think that we must restrain and conceal our dissatisfaction, anger and rage towards others, otherwise it will affect our relationships. In fact, good interpersonal relationships are not maintained by restraint and disguise, sincere people do not have to hide their dissatisfaction or even anger, say not only to help solve interpersonal conflicts in a timely manner, and can be a safer way to release their negative emotions.
Of course, there are two prerequisites here: one is to confirm that their grievances are not trivial, and the second is to express them in an appropriate manner. The principles of expressing negative emotions are the same as those of expressing positive emotions, that is: to the matter, not to the person, the truth, the matter. Some examples of sentences to refer to are.
”What you did made me feel uncomfortable.”
”What you didÏÏ made me feel hurt.”
”I feel angry at theÏÏthing you did.”
”I don’t like it when you talk to me with that kind of attitude.”
”I’m disappointed that you don’t keep your word.”
Being able to accurately understand and respond to the emotions of others
Other people express emotions and feelings to us, and our indifference can cause the other person to feel strongly frustrated. Thus, being able to accurately respond to other people’s emotions and feelings will make people feel relieved, happy and even grateful.
For example, sentences to understand and respond to others’ positive or negative emotions are.
”I’m so happy for you ……”
”I’m glad you’re letting me share your joy ……”
”You are distressed, and this kind of thing is indeed difficult to deal with.”
”You are feeling difficult, I can understand that.”
Being able to share the joy and share the anguish with others
There is a saying that one joy spoken will become two joys, and one pain spoken will become half a pain.
In this regard, some male students have some of these perceived barriers.
The first thing you need to do is to talk to someone else about your pain and suffering for fear of being bored.
In fact, not, as long as the right amount, but also to meet the human need to help people.
Confide in others for fear of being looked down upon.
On the contrary, being willing to let people share your pain is a sign of self-confidence and trust, confidence that you can solve your problems and believe that others can understand and support you.
In addition, everyone has distress and even pain, which allows people to understand and feel the pain of others, and when necessary, to lend a helping hand.
People only look down on people who only confide in them without taking any constructive action.
One is afraid of being told that one will not endure and is not like a man.
We do have to be able to tolerate irreversible events, but not emotions, otherwise they will accumulate to a certain point and have a very destructive effect. Bad emotions are like garbage, accumulation of more people will not be able to stand.
As long as you choose the right person, time and method of expression, you can vent your negative emotions in a constructive way, thus making your manly image more full and real.