Structural family therapy believes that as a therapist in structural family therapy, I must first challenge my doctor’s diagnosis, even if I am a doctor myself, in therapy. The following is a discussion of how to conduct family therapy in relation to an example from the author’s practice. This is a patient I diagnosed with social (predominantly fear of school) phobia in a family with a 19-year-old only daughter with a late adolescent onset and a father who is a successful salesman working in the field. The patient’s fear of going to school was the main manifestation. At the beginning of treatment, the mother and daughter kept crying for her inability to go to school during the first session, she had headaches and stomachaches when she went to school, remembered unpleasant things when she arrived at school, and was unable to keep going to school. This one case did not seem to be related to the family on the surface, but when I challenged the diagnosis and the phobic symptoms caused by school, that is, when I considered introducing the individual’s symptoms to the whole family’s relationship problem, a miracle happened. It turned out that every time her father came home from the field, her symptoms of somatic discomfort subsided and she was able to go to school; however, once her father left, her mother acquiesced to her not going to school for fear that she would become schizophrenic, which means that her mother’s weakness was the real reason why she could not go to school. I first raised the mother’s energy and began to ask her to try to control her emotions and show her determination in the face of difficulties. She soon became my co-therapist, and from the second session she was able to sit up straight, instead of leaning forward all over and showing special attention to her daughter when she was crying. In subsequent sessions, I sat slightly behind my daughter, encouraged her to communicate directly with her mother, repeatedly emphasized that she was a 19-year-old adolescent, and had her stand up to compare her size with her mother, suggesting that she had grown up, i.e., raised the child’s energy. When she showed maturity in front of me, I reminded the mother that she was in her presence yet she acted like a child, implying that she had the ability to grow up. Since the father was far away in Kunming, I only saw the mother and daughter. I had a hypothesis that the mother and daughter were too tightly entangled because they were spending time together while the father was unable to enter their system, so in the third session, I tried to make the mother understand that she could not get too close to the child because then the child would not be able to face the outside world, which not only hurt the child but also put both parents in an abyss of pain. In therapy, I deliberately appear to be no more competent than the family members to make them feel that they are the only ones who can solve the problem. At the same time, they were told that the problem was not that serious, and this normalized the family. When the mother said that the child was bullying her, and that the child was actually very close to the father, just because the father was very grumpy and the child was just afraid of the father’s temper, I started from the fact that the child had two different fathers and lived the picture of the family, and it turned out that the father was often grumpy, while the mother was very traditional, a typical Chinese woman, who went against the grain; when she couldn’t help it, she would cry or ignore the husband, and then The husband’s behavior would be more restrained, doing housework or coaxing his wife, but soon remained the same, at which point I got up to dance with my mother and compared the family to a three-step dance, where the husband loses his temper – the wife endures – the husband restrains, and asked my mother if she liked this strange dance. From this case we can see that children’s problems are often the product of parental relationship problems. She struggles painfully with the fear that her parents will divorce because of quarrels, and every time she cannot go to school, her father must come back from out of town, and she sacrifices her personal life to preserve the family, subtly pulling her parents together; the mother also acquiesces to her children not going to school precisely because of the same need for her husband to come back. To change this wonderful dance in the family, they had to learn to develop new ways of behaving toward other family members. I encouraged the growth of the child on the one hand, and the mother’s release of the child on the other. In the fifth session, using the child who had become my co-therapist, I raised the husband’s energy, asking him to communicate more with his wife so that he could pull her back from his daughter, thus reorganizing the the structure of the family, so that the couple could establish the spousal alliance that is expected in a normal family structure, and establish boundaries between the couple and the child, separating the parents psychologically from the child, and promoting the child to truly grow up and face adversity on his or her own. At the later stage of the treatment of this case, the parents started to discuss the education of their child, and they had high expectations for their child, hoping that the child would go to a major university, and at this point, I found the entrance to the second stage of the treatment, which is to introduce the family’s problems to the big system of the whole society, that is, the small system of the family also has to be influenced by the big system of the whole society, and due to the social pressure, the family It is not my responsibility as a therapist to reduce the pressure of the social environment, but I can help the family cope with the pressure of the environment. I helped the child and the parents to have an in-depth discussion about learning how to cope with the double pressure of the whole social environment on the family and the child, so that the parents and the child could work together to cope with their common difficulties. As you can see from this case, if I had always maintained a neutral position in the family, empathizing with each member of the family, it would have appeared that I was doing a lot, but in reality I would have done nothing! We have been learning how to be neutral since we started studying psychotherapy, and in fact what neutrality really means is that we will only support one person in the family at different stages in therapy, but from the whole process of therapy Structural family therapy believes that as a therapist in structural family therapy, it is important to first challenge the doctor’s diagnosis, even if I am the doctor myself, in therapy, I have to challenge my diagnosis. The following is a discussion of how to approach family therapy in relation to an example from the author’s practice. This is a patient I diagnosed with social (predominantly fear of school) phobia in a family with a 19-year-old only daughter with a late adolescent onset and a father who is a successful salesman working in the field. The patient’s fear of going to school was the main manifestation. At the beginning of treatment, the mother and daughter kept crying for her inability to go to school during the first session, she had headaches and stomachaches when she went to school, remembered unpleasant things when she arrived at school, and was unable to keep going to school. This one case did not seem to be related to the family on the surface, but when I challenged the diagnosis and the phobic symptoms caused by school, that is, when I considered introducing the individual’s symptoms to the whole family’s relationship problem, a miracle happened. It turned out that every time her father came home from the field, her symptoms of somatic discomfort subsided and she was able to go to school; however, once her father left, her mother acquiesced to her not going to school for fear that she would become schizophrenic, which means that her mother’s weakness was the real reason why she could not go to school. I first raised the mother’s energy and began to ask her to try to control her emotions and show her determination in the face of difficulties. She soon became my co-therapist, and from the second session she was able to sit up straight, instead of leaning forward all over and showing special attention to her daughter when she was crying. In subsequent sessions, I sat slightly behind my daughter, encouraged her to communicate directly with her mother, repeatedly emphasized that she was a 19-year-old adolescent, and had her stand up to compare her size with her mother, suggesting that she had grown up, i.e., raised the child’s energy. When she showed maturity in front of me, I reminded the mother that she was in her presence yet she acted like a child, implying that she had the ability to grow up. Since the father was far away in Kunming, I only saw the mother and daughter. I had a hypothesis that the mother and daughter were too tightly entangled because they were spending time together while the father was unable to enter their system, so in the third session, I tried to make the mother understand that she could not get too close to the child because then the child would not be able to face the outside world, which not only hurt the child but also put both parents in an abyss of pain. In therapy, I deliberately appear to be no more competent than the family members to make them feel that they are the only ones who can solve the problem. At the same time, they were told that the problem was not that serious, and this normalized the family. When the mother said that the child was bullying her, and that the child was actually very close to the father, just because the father was very grumpy and the child was just afraid of the father’s temper, I started from the fact that the child had two different fathers and lived the picture of the family, and it turned out that the father was often grumpy, while the mother was very traditional, a typical Chinese woman, who went against the grain; when she couldn’t help it, she would cry or ignore the husband, and then The husband’s behavior would be more restrained, doing housework or coaxing his wife, but soon remained the same, at which point I got up to dance with my mother and compared the family to a three-step dance, where the husband loses his temper – the wife endures – the husband restrains, and asked my mother if she liked this strange dance. From this case we can see that children’s problems are often the product of parental relationship problems. She struggles painfully with the fear that her parents will divorce because of quarrels, and every time she cannot go to school, her father must come back from out of town, and she sacrifices her personal life to preserve the family, subtly pulling her parents together; the mother also acquiesces to her children not going to school precisely because of the same need for her husband to come back. To change this wonderful dance in the family, they had to learn to develop new ways of behaving toward other family members. I encouraged the growth of the child on the one hand, and the mother’s release of the child on the other. In the fifth session, using the child who had become my co-therapist, I raised the husband’s energy, asking him to communicate more with his wife so that he could pull her back from his daughter, thus reorganizing the the structure of the family, so that the couple could establish the spousal alliance that is expected in a normal family structure, and establish boundaries between the couple and the child, separating the parents psychologically from the child, and promoting the child to truly grow up and face adversity on his or her own. At the later stage of the treatment of this case, the parents started to discuss the education of their child, and they had high expectations for their child, hoping that the child would go to a major university, and at this point, I found the entrance to the second stage of the treatment, which is to introduce the family’s problems to the big system of the whole society, that is, the small system of the family also has to be influenced by the big system of the whole society, and due to the social pressure, the family It is not my responsibility as a therapist to reduce the pressure of the social environment, but I can help the family cope with the pressure of the environment. I helped the child and the parents to have an in-depth discussion about learning how to cope with the double pressure of the whole social environment on the family and the child, so that the parents and the child could work together to cope with their common difficulties. As you can see from this case, if I had always maintained a neutral position in the family, empathizing with each member of the family, it would have appeared that I was doing a lot, but in fact I would have done nothing! We have been learning how to be neutral since we started learning psychotherapy. In fact, what neutrality really means is that we will only support one person in the family at different stages in therapy, but from the whole process of therapy, we will let each member of the family express their pain and let the bright sun shine in every corner of the family!