Coping with frustration In the complicated path of life, success and failure are like twin brothers who are always with us. There is almost no one who does not desire success and victory, but only a few lucky people can taste the wine of victory and joy among all the people. More people have to experience many setbacks, large and small, in their lifetime. From winning or losing a poker game to losing a presidential campaign. ”Frustration,” as a psychological term that is becoming more and more familiar, can often be perceived in our daily lives. Materialization, fast-paced, smaller space and greater distance have forced many modern people to motivate themselves through more “winning actions” or so-called “successes”. Human beings have the nature of “free competition”, when facing problems, “fight or flight” is the instinctive consciousness of human beings. Since there is a “battle”, it is inevitable that there will be success and failure, the successes, excluding the state of Fan Jin, the end is mostly very pleasant, while the “losers” can not be so. From a physiological point of view, once people anticipate that they face the coming terrible failure, the first will start the physiological stress mechanism, the pupils began to narrow, the heart rhythm began to slow down, adrenaline to suspend secretion, muscle blood supply tension, the mind began to become less awake, limb muscles began to relax, all muscle operations are beginning to “contraction, retreat All muscle operations begin to prepare for the “contraction and retreat” aspect. The physical condition of the previous active competition is no longer possible to be adopted by the person concerned, “contraction, retreat” is to save strength, to cope with the immediate difficulties, in order to continue to “fight” in the future. Psychologically, when “defeat” inevitably comes, the first thing we can feel is great fear, helplessness, panic, overwhelmed. Some people begin to think about whether they have experienced a similar “setback” before, in the hope of finding a way to cope with the reality of the situation. Some try to deny that they have suffered such a severe “setback”, while others are in a foggy state of consciousness or even pass out to avoid the trauma of the “setback” to their mind. More people show extreme anxiety, nervousness, irritability, and guilt. Some may also experience anger or even despair. Both physiologically and psychologically, “frustration” is often very difficult to bear, and in serious cases, it can affect the functions of the body, such as insomnia, depression, stomach ulcers, reduced immune function, etc. In the face of serious “frustration”, there are also In the face of serious “defeat”, there may be a serious illness or even a sickness, can not come out of this pain for a long time. So, how should I adjust my mental state to deal with the ubiquitous “frustration”? First, seek enough security. Security is a basic human need, and for a person who is “frustrated”, security is invaluable. Only when people are convinced that they are in a safe place, they can gradually regain their usual calmness and composure, and can have a more calm and objective evaluation of their own situation. And calm and objective is precisely the best state of mind to stabilize. Therefore, for a person who has suffered a “setback”, the first thing to do is to find an environment where you can feel safe and find someone who can provide you with a sense of security. Let yourself be in a warm, quiet, comfortable environment, and be taken care of by people you trust. Needless to say, family and friends are good choices at this time. If you really don’t want your family or friends to see how messed up you are, you can also find a professional who can make you feel relaxed and safe. Believe that it is much better to have someone to share the pain than to suffer alone. Secondly, understand “frustration” itself well enough to reduce physical alertness and raise awareness of “frustration”. As the old saying goes, “You learn from your mistakes, you grow from them” and “If you lose a horse, you don’t know it’s not a blessing”. Correctly recognize that not all competition can be successful, not necessarily to always walk in a successful, forward path. Eliminate their own kind of “should be how” the inertia of thinking. Do not always think that people like me “should how, should how”, once frustrated on all thoughts. We do not say “failure is the mother of success”, without a positive preparedness to deal with setbacks, how can see a better and brighter tomorrow? Third, when you calm down, you should be able to actively assess the reality of the “failure”. Make relevant decisions to try to stop the failure from expanding, and seize the opportunity to be proactive in order to reduce the potential for more and greater losses. Fourth, identify the causes and problems of this failure and find positive strategies to deal with them. Imagine the possibilities for a better future and find realistic remedial strategies that can be achieved, and make up your mind to attack the failure. The person concerned can also use brainstorming and other methods to generate various possible strategies needed to achieve the goal, and process the strategy into a specific action plan with time, steps and plans, so as to transform the problems caused by “failure” through this strong goal-oriented. Fifth, it takes into account human inertia and deviations in the implementation of the plan. It is still important for the person to actively receive support during the action process. This support includes encouragement from family, friends, and both moral and material help. A good social support system will help the person to finally get out of the “frustration” haze and regain a good blue sky. After coping with our own “defeat” situation, we have to take a moment to think about it. In front of the same frustration, why they will have such a strong and painful sense of frustration, while some people are calm and easy to get out of trouble? Everyone has different goals and expectations for life, and everyone wants to be more successful. As the saying goes, “the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment”. In fact, the greater the psychological gap between success and failure, the more difficult it is to let go of failure, excessive expectations of success may only make failure more bitter. We must understand that the idea of “not forgiving yourself for failure” is most unacceptable.