This article was written by Ms. Dancy, a Waldorf educator in the United States for thirty years. Note: Waldorf education advocates “slow learning”. The content of education comes from the understanding of the child’s spiritual nature. It emphasizes the development of thinking, feeling, and will power. In the “middle stage” of childhood, from the early to the middle grades (6 to 14 years old), the child’s imagination and rhythm are very important, and as much as possible, the child’s life is artistic. Parents of 9-year-olds often wonder, “What’s wrong with my child? Some children at this age become stern and argumentative, others become depressed or dislike dealing with people. Nightmares, unexplained fears, headaches, and stomachaches are also common. Some children feel as if no one likes them at school, and others may suddenly become sensitive to their identity (rich, poor, or “weirdo”). She may also storm back to her room and slam the door, saying that you are being unfair or don’t understand her at all. Parents may wonder if the change in behavior is due to a new teacher at school, something she did recently, a family situation (separation or the birth of a new baby), or simply “teenage angst”. In fact, as long as we understand her inner world, we can meet her needs at this moment without worrying too much. What is going on? The special emotional needs of nine-year-olds stem from a significant change in their sense of self. Their “toddler” stage is over and they are transitioning to a new stage of development. Rudolf Steiner, the founder of Waldorf education. Rudolf Steiner, the founder of Waldorf Education, says, “The year of nine is a time when the child is undergoing a complete transformation, both mentally and physically. Until the age of five, the child’s consciousness is dreamlike, with no distinction between the external and internal worlds. They learn about external things not through “observation” but through unconscious imitation. Infants learn through imitation, and older children continue to imitate the world around them, such as the behavior of their teachers or parents. Because of the power of imitation, the child’s life experience is tightly integrated with the world and there is no sense of distance, so there is no sense of isolation. However, the nine-year-old child is no longer learning through imitation and begins to feel distant from the world she lives in. Some sense of self that was not present in the past begins to awaken. The nine-year-old suddenly becomes acutely aware of herself as an individual, and this new sense of distance from the world and from others. This sense of self, which she actually experienced when she was about 2 1/2 years old, reappears to a more profound degree because the child’s inner emotional world is beginning to develop. Although every child reacts differently to the sweet dream world of early childhood, they all have one common reaction: they become more aware of their surroundings. You may find that some of the things you once ignored now come into focus or are even questioned. Depending on each child’s natural temperament, they may react differently, from silent surprise to harsh criticism. The more critical child may pay attention to whether the people around her are telling the truth or fictional lies. She may begin to question her parents and teachers, thinking, “How can they know everything? “Do they really know everything?” They are looking for certainty, for confirmation that the adults’ words stand up to challenge and can be trusted. Another opposite reaction to loneliness may be for children to become withdrawn, to go to bed at night scared, or to have frequent stomachaches. Because the child often wants to be alone, parents may feel as if they are “losing” the child and feel as if the child no longer enjoys sharing their inner world with them. This is also the time when the child will begin to notice the topic of death. As the child becomes more self-aware and aware of his or her own sense of responsibility and choice, religious issues, good deeds, evil, etc. may also emerge. Often, within six months of the ninth birthday (and sometimes earlier), the child becomes acutely aware of this new sense of separation from the outside world. As the sense of “I” awakens, the child realizes that he or she is an individual and feels as if he or she is in charge of his or her own destiny. One 70-year-old woman, reflecting on her life at this time, said, “When I was nine years old, I had a very pronounced sense of self-awareness. I remember that at a certain moment when I was waiting to change trains after class, I suddenly realized that the journey of life before me was something I had to complete on my own. So basically, the nine-year-old is experiencing the stage of being an independent individual to face the external world. Ideally, she has a higher level of self-awareness to accompany her through this moment, and an understanding that this will continue, and even surge more as her self-awareness rises. So, how can parents work with their children through this important turning point in their lives at age 9? 1. Understanding more about the stage and mood she is going through will help both you as a parent and your child. Parents or teachers put themselves in the child’s shoes and understand her actual needs, which will keep her mind and body in balance. And, be patient, it will all pass! After the 9 year old crisis and before puberty, she will be in a very harmonious state during the 10 year old gap until the next time when she is more self-aware. 2. Let her keep her own inner emotional world and don’t try to “correct” it. Respect her privacy. When she suddenly gets impatient with her sister and is complaining and whining, let her vent! When you find that there is a distance between you, try to accept to endure that your relationship with her is changing, but when these changes stabilize, the relationship will improve. You just have to be there for her at all times, to understand her and let her know that she is loved. 3. Share with her some thoughts that are not about the minutiae of daily life. But don’t provide “answers” or definitions, because this will clog her mind when she is faced with or asked questions about things like God or death later. Leave space for her to find her own answers later. 4. Have faith in her and believe in her ability to heal herself as she goes through this stage. Expose her to artistic activities she is interested in (like writing poetry, journaling, drawing, music). 5. Nurture her interest in the world around her and life in general. Engage in more real-life field activities such as farm experiences, gardening, etc. Before she enters the world of technology, which is actually more appropriate for teenagers, let her enjoy more exposure to plants and animals, or enjoy doing simple and simple creative activities. The Waldorf curriculum introduces children to the world through the “people” related exercises of building houses, farming, and studying the world of plants and animals, rather than abstract technology such as computers. 6. She has a new view of adult authority and no longer blindly accepts it as young children do. You should encourage and agree with your child to develop new ways of relating to the teacher or the adults around him. Steiner says, “The most important thing is that the child has someone (whether it is a person or several people who may not be of top importance) to lead her at this time. You and your husband can be that person, and when discipline issues arise, sit down together and discuss them with your child. （The 7-year-old is restless, always moving, groping with her hands and feet (touching, manipulating, walking, etc.), her head still looks large in proportion to her appearance, her mind is still dreamlike, and she is just beginning to At age 12, she has a clear mind, her hands and feet are long and sometimes she doesn’t even know where to put them, she has a rich (and sometimes overly strong) inner emotional world, the older the child the more emotional experiences she has, and her body starts to mature as her sexual organs reach puberty. And at nine, right in the middle of the world of toddlers and teenagers, her body and mind are changing. It brings about a huge transformation because her inner world is expanding and creating a strong sense of self. Understanding this change allows us to properly accompany her growth. She begins to awaken to her own significance in the world, and this self-awareness brings a new dimension to her life: she understands the real world of everyday life, but at the same time longs to maintain an intimate relationship with something surreal. Our job as parents and teachers is to be the caring angel in our child’s heart, sharing with her the real world and our own inner thoughts.