With the popularization of psychological knowledge, many parents can realize the influence of family environment on children’s growth, especially the parenting style, which is an important factor in determining children’s character and even fate. Let’s look at an ordinary family first. Xiao Wei is a ten-year-old boy. His father, an engineer, is rarely at home on weekdays; his mother, an accountant, is the child’s primary caregiver, and she takes almost unfailing care of Xiaowei’s life, rarely criticizing the child. Since Xiaowei started elementary school, his grades always hovered in the middle of the class, far below his parents’ expectations, due to his lively and playful nature, so his father became the strict disciplinarian in the family. As long as Xiaowei was negligent in his studies or made a mistake, he would inevitably be scolded. His mother always calmed Xiaowei afterwards and reasoned with him so that he would not make mistakes again. But Xiaowei did not develop as they wished, his grades remained mediocre, he made more and more mistakes, and even fought with his classmates at school. Why was the father’s strict teaching ineffective and the loving mother’s guidance not effective? From a psychological point of view, there are four types of parenting styles, namely authoritative, authoritarian, doting and neglectful. Xiao Wei’s father is an authoritarian father who believes that Xiao Wei should unconditionally accept the rules and standards set by his parents, often using punitive, arbitrary and forceful disciplinary measures with little verbal discussion. The mother, on the other hand, was a coddling mother, who was obedient in life, rarely made demands on Wei’s behavior, and treated him in an accepting, amiable, and even somewhat submissive manner in disciplinary matters, with some discipline from the mother only when the father criticized him severely. Neither of them really communicated with Xiaowei in any sense. So what kind of parenting style is best for children’s growth? Authoritative parents are more ideal. They are warm and stern with children. Specifically, they have clear rules and requirements for their children’s behavior and can strictly enforce them, while at the same time aligning their expectations for their children with their needs and abilities. They place a high value on the development of autonomy and self-management, encourage two-way communication between parents and children, and are able to listen to and accept children’s opinions, while at the same time taking on the fundamental responsibility of disciplining children. Discussions and detailed explanations are often given to children on disciplinary issues. What is the problem with Xiaowei’s parents? First of all, parenting should start at an early age, not like the father, who waits until problems arise before getting involved in home education. And the father’s discipline should be persistent, do not wait for the problem to be solved, and began to Xiao Wei do not care. Secondly for Xiaowei’s learning problems should be discussed with Xiaowei first, why learning is not going on, if efforts are made, the results can reach what state ……, that is, according to Xiaowei’s ability to determine the appropriate goal. Once again for the father’s scolding problem, from a parent’s point of view, it is impossible not to scold the child, but what to do after the scolding? For Xiaowei, the father should talk to Xiaowei after the beating, explain the reason for the scolding, listen to Xiaowei’s explanation, it is better for the father to apologize for beating the child, because after all, it is a bad behavior, otherwise the child may think it is right and imitate this behavior, Xiaowei fights at school also has part of the father’s responsibility. Finally, the advice to the kind and hard-working mother is to give clear rules and requirements to Xiaowei from a young age, and to develop his autonomy in life and learning, not to wait until after the fight to guide the child, and usually to do more work in this area. It is also very important to mention that parents must be consistent in their parenting style, do not blame each other for what is not right, especially in front of the child, because there is no perfect parent, when the problem is found, should discuss with each other, and make up for each other in the usual education of children, so I think it is very difficult. You may think that it is very hard to be a parent, and yes, it is very difficult and impossible to be a parent who does not make mistakes. But as long as you can remember these contents and pay attention to one or two points when teaching your children, you will definitely see a change in your children, which is the reward for your hard work.