Sex, including sex and love, is a normal human behavior in which men and women feel, give and enjoy the love given by each other, done through sexual intercourse. For humans, in addition to the purpose of reproduction, sex is also accompanied by sexual pleasure and orgasm, which is the strongest physical pleasure in the human body, which is also a result of human evolution, so the main purpose of sex has become a process of seeking physical pleasure, is an important way of emotional communication between men and women, that is, the ultimate expression of “spiritual and physical union”. The embodiment of the purpose of reproduction is placed in a subordinate position.
In fact, the true meaning of sex is pleasure, is the process of seeking pleasure!
Physiological research shows that the normal process of sex, mainly by the regulation of the vegetative nervous system, and the vegetative nervous system, including the sympathetic nervous system and parasympathetic nervous system, parasympathetic nervous system, if enhanced, can be expressed as a good penile erection, ejaculation latency prolongation, is the real “happy” regulation system in the process of sex The stronger its role, the more successful sex can be completed. However, the parasympathetic nervous system is relatively not subjective control of the autonomic nervous system, only through the psychological state of indirect influence, then how to achieve it? Relax, is undoubtedly the best way, in the spirit of a happy mind into sex!
Happy to sex, happy to perceive themselves, happy to perceive each other, make themselves happy, is the other happy! Many male sexual dysfunction patients, various tests confirm that they belong to the psychological sexual dysfunction, often ignore the true meaning of sex, nervous about sex, nervous to perceive themselves, nervous to perceive each other, and not fully mobilize the parasympathetic nervous system, of course, can not get their own pleasure, but also can not make each other happy.
Sex should be the pursuit of pleasure, the mind to be happy, communication to be happy, themselves to be happy, each other to be happy, both sides to be happy! Both men and women in the process of full communication should understand the true meaning of sexual pleasure! In sex should be both selfish and selfless. Selfishness is to perceive your own pleasure and get your own pleasure; selflessness is that you should perceive each other’s pleasure and make each other happy! But patients with psychosexual dysfunction often take each other’s pleasure, as the true meaning of sex, and neglect their own pleasure. Unbeknownst to them, neglecting their own pleasure and giving single importance to each other’s pleasure often inhibits the role of the parasympathetic nervous system, while leading to inadequate penile erection and rapid ejaculation in men and sluggish sexual response and difficulty in orgasm in women!
Therefore, men and women in the process of sex, should pursue pleasure, both sides are happy of course is perfect, if not make both sides get, one side get should also be happy, their own happiness, the other side should also be happy for themselves, to actively encourage, so that the other side can be more relaxed, more fully mobilized mobilization of the parasympathetic nervous system function, the formation of a virtuous circle of sex, to promote the process of sex!
Sex is happy, the mind is relaxed, both men and women are the active party, let themselves happy premise, try to make each other happy! One party to obtain physical pleasure, both parties should be psychologically happy!
When a couple’s sex life is not harmonious, we should behave more actively and improve the quality of sex life through some special exercises and aids. In the case of male and female sexual dysfunction, it is manifested as sexual arousal disorder, orgasm disorder and so on, while most of the patients are mostly due to psychological reasons.
For most couples with discordant sex life, not necessarily patients with sexual dysfunction, in order to improve sex life should first clarify some potential reasons leading to the status quo, such as early bad sexual experience and sexual trauma, wrong sexual knowledge and sex education, special family environment and growth process, strained gender relations and disharmonious sex life, etc. Both husband and wife only in a positive attitude, trying to for themselves and each other Find the crux of the problem, in order to clarify the direction of treatment and develop a treatment plan. Most of the current sexual disharmony between couples can be improved through some behavioral training to improve their own or each other’s sexual problems, these methods are simple and easy to implement, but it is important to persist, interested friends may wish to try.
Part I: Women’s class
Women’s sexual problems include most of the performance in terms of sexual arousal, orgasm, painful intercourse, most of them are also related to bad sexual experience, wrong sex education, the vast majority of female sexual dysfunction patients will have psycho-psychological factors. “The bell must be untied”, sexual psychotherapy plays a sub-important role in the treatment of female sexual dysfunction, emotions and their related factors can affect the sexual impulse, such as excessive self-esteem, the relationship with the husband and the need for a common tacit understanding of the husband in terms of sexual function, are to be eliminated and improved by the heart to ease. In addition, patients with psychological disorders such as repression, disorders of obsessive-compulsive ideas and behaviors, drugs for depression 5 a hydroxytryptamine reuptake inhibitors (SSRI), can reduce female sexual desire and sexual arousal, reduce female genital sensitivity as well as cause a lack of female orgasm.
In addition to being psychologically active, it can also be improved through behavioral therapy, the purpose of which is to eliminate the previous fear and aversion to sex by feeling the pleasure of caressing and intimacy, also known as behavioral therapy, in which self-stimulation therapy is something we can often do at home, the point is to create a relaxed and warm environment, through self means, stimulate the sensitive parts of the body and actively experience, from which the perception of sexual The main point is to create a relaxing and warm environment, stimulate the sensitive parts of the body and experience them positively by self means, and perceive the sexual pleasure from them, in order to relieve tension and pleasure the body and mind, for 30 minutes-1 hour each time, 2-3 times a week. For those who have vaginal spasm and perineal pain, you can add vaginal tension relaxation training to the training, which can also achieve better results.
Part 2: Men’s class
Sexual dysfunction in men includes erectile dysfunction, ejaculatory dysfunction, etc. Among them, psychological factors should also be taken seriously and reasonably channeled first, especially for some patients with psychological erectile difficulties, or premature ejaculation, because the anxiety and tension that exist in most people can often lead to disharmony in sexual life.
The main thing that men need to do for themselves is to change their wrong sexual concepts and overcome their tension and anxiety through their own psychological adjustment, while the physical training mainly relies on both husband and wife to complete.
The third part: couples class
In fact, for couples, sexual disharmony is often the cause of both sides, if the training can be carried out with the participation of both sides, will achieve twice the result with half the effort, is also the most used in various male and female sexual dysfunction, the most important behavioral treatment methods. Divided into two areas.
Male partner problems, female partner cooperation.
Taking premature ejaculation as an example, we will talk about the specific methods of behavioral therapy.
Sexual concentration training method: This method is a treatment that is based on the premise of gradually increasing the ability to discriminate the sensation of the penis, and is suitable for the treatment of premature ejaculation caused by psycho-psychological reasons such as feelings of self-guilt, insecurity and loss of self-confidence in sexual life. This method is used for the treatment of psychological erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation by means of tactile stimulation such as hugging, stroking and pressing to experience and enjoy sexual pleasure, overcome the fear of sexual activity, and establish and restore the natural sexual response. During the treatment period, it should be noted that only tactile sexual pleasure is permitted and sexual intercourse is not allowed, and the pleasure of the spouse is increased to obtain its own pleasure. The procedure can be divided into two stages: non-genital erotic concentration training and genital erotic concentration training.
Non-genital sensual concentration training: both spouses can do non-genital sensual concentration training naked in a closed environment without any interference. To concentrate, not to talk about all the things that have nothing to do with sex therapy, concentrate on caressing and experience, take turns to caress each other’s sexy belt other than any other parts, focus on experiencing the pleasure brought by caressing the body, to eliminate the fear of sexual behavior, anxiety and repression, so that the couple to build confidence and intimacy, and naturally achieve sexual arousal. This process takes 1 to 2 weeks, during which no sexual intercourse.
Genital Sexual Concentration Training: The couple can expand the scope of caresses to the sexual zones of both partners, such as female breasts or male external genitalia, but no sexual intercourse is allowed. When the woman is sexually aroused, she can touch the clitoris with her hand or use her fingers to gently reach into the vagina, and the woman can touch the scrotum or penis, or perform oral sex if she wishes. This process takes about 1 to 2 weeks, and after the effect is consolidated, you can try to have sexual intercourse.
Penis squeezing therapy: The main cause of premature ejaculation is penile sensory allergy. This method can improve the sensory threshold of the penis to improve the ability of the penis to tolerate stimulation and delay and control ejaculation to treat premature ejaculation.
Operation method: In the genital sex concentration training stage of the sex concentration training method, the sensory threshold of the penis is improved through the stimulation of the male penis by the female partner. The male partner takes a supine position and focuses his attention on experiencing the sensation of penile stimulation by the female partner. The female partner sits next to the male partner or between the legs and gently strokes the penis to make it erect. When the male partner feels highly aroused and is about to ejaculate, he can signal the female partner to stop stimulating and use both hands to place the thumbs on the ventral coronal groove of the penis head and the remaining four fingers on the dorsal side of the penis and squeeze hard for about 15 to 20 seconds. This pinching effect is to inhibit the ejaculatory reflex, which can sometimes cause penile weakness. This method is repeated three times, and ejaculation can be achieved on the fourth stimulation. This squeeze and pinch technique can also be used in sexual intercourse, the beginning of the use of weaker stimulation of the female side of the upper sexual position, when the male partner feels a high degree of excitement, will ejaculate, you can signal the female side quickly disengage from the male side, and the squeeze and pinch technique, to be repeated again after the male ejaculation feeling relief.
Female partner’s problem, male partner’s cooperation.
Sexual concentration training: through the spouses to receive a two-week sexual treatment program (called two-week intensive treatment method), so that the goal of the couple’s sexual activities from the completion of sexual response to give and receive sexual pleasure and pleasure to each other, so as to promote frank communication with each other, leading to the couple’s response to sexual treatment and the establishment of the feeling of affectionate cooperation between the couple, including non-genital sexual concentration training, sexual organ touch training, The improvement of marital relationship and the lifting of sexual dysfunction are the usual criteria for the end of treatment.
Intimacy-based therapy: increase the amount of relaxation time spent by the couple together, increase the activity of intimate feelings outside of sex, so that the two sides first form a psychological intimacy before sex, thus avoiding inhibiting the sexual arousal of the female partner when the sexual component of the male stimulation method is too excessive, to achieve the purpose of treating low libido. This new treatment model focuses on self-esteem, intimacy, satisfaction and the sharing of mutual pleasure, and can only be considered successful when the couple can create an erotic experience. This therapy can be used in a variety of flexible ways, such as bathing, traveling, walking, talking and drinking together, to make the intimacy warm and harmonious and to achieve a simultaneous development of sexual activity and arousal, so that both partners can become one.
Treatment of vaginal cramps: The goal is to reverse the conditioned reflexes that cause the cramps. Once the couple understands the nature of the problem, they are given their first “homework” assignment, which is to gradually dilate the vagina with a vaginal dilator. This is done by inserting a dilator coated with sterile lubricant into the vagina under the supervision and control of the wife, with the couple participating. The dilator starts with the smallest size and gradually increases to the size of the penis diameter. Once the larger dilator can be successfully inserted, it is kept in the vagina for several hours. In this way, the vaginal spasm is gradually reduced until it disappears and the woman learns to adapt to the vaginal placement in the process. This is followed by a transition to further sexual therapy.