Many parents often encounter this situation: when a small child does something wrong, or breaks something, they will lie. And once the child’s lies are recognized, many parents are often very excited, and even inevitably beat the child. In this regard, experts say that violence against children lie, will affect the child’s mental health, and even affect its behavior as an adult, and children often lie with their parents. So when the child lies, to understand its background and reasons, to make the right guidance to children. When a child lies, first analyze its motives Experts say that if you find a child lying, you should first analyze the background and reasons why the child is lying. Children often lie for the following reasons. First, after doing something wrong in order to avoid being punished and lie, this type of situation is relatively common; second, in order to please the adults and lie, such as knowing what adults like to hear what the child said. This type of situation is relatively rare and is generally influenced by the behavior of adults. There is also a case of adolescent conduct disorder children, lies are completely common for these children, lies together with fighting, truancy, smoking, drinking, running away from home, stealing, etc. constitute the main manifestations of conduct disorder. For children with adolescent conduct disorder, in addition to the biological basis of the disease, more social and family environmental factors, such as family disharmony, poor parent-child relationship, lack of supervision or ineffective supervision of children by both parents, too strict discipline, poor social interaction, etc.. Problem families are the breeding ground for children’s lies Experts say that children’s lies are most closely related to family environment factors, and problematic families are the breeding ground for children’s lies. Negative family atmosphere. Long-term parental discord, separation, divorce, the family is in a long-term negative emotional atmosphere, the child for the relationship between adults feel at a loss, do not know what to do, will be to the mother one set, see the father is another set. Parents’ words and example. We often see some parents, themselves often lie (some are intentional, some are the so-called social, family relationships need to “good faith lies”), then, you then ask the child to be honest, then you adults first contradict themselves, how can the child be honest? Both parents are too strict with their children’s education and discipline. Some parents have high academic requirements for their children, and once the child fails to meet the requirements, he or she will be severely reprimanded or even scolded, and the child will lie and have other behavioral problems, such as truancy, running away from home, etc., in order to avoid punishment. Parents have serious disagreements and even contradictions on the education of their children. In traditional Chinese society, “strict father and loving mother” are used, but in modern society, we often see “strict mother and loving father”, where one parent is strict and the other parent is casual and even spontaneous, which also leads to lies and other behavioral problems of children. The lack of parental role. Nowadays, in both urban and rural areas, most young parents are busy working, and children are mainly taken care of by grandparents, grandparents, and many elderly people are overly spoiled and protective of their children, which can lead to a variety of behavioral problems. Violence affects the child’s mental health Once the child is found to lie, some parents will scold or even physically punish the child. Experts say that whether it’s soft violence (such as cold feet, neglect) or hard violence (such as scolding, corporal punishment, etc.), it can have a very negative impact on a child’s mental health. First of all, parents are often the main source of socialization and learning to imitate children, if parents treat their children with violence, then children will also learn to solve some problems in their own lives in a violent way, and in adulthood, will also solidify the violent way to solve problems. Secondly, violence can seriously affect the child’s mental health, and can seriously harm the child’s personality and self-esteem, causing psychological trauma, becoming timid, passive, and behaviorally withdrawn, and even leading to serious childhood and adolescent mood disorders (depression) or neurological disorders (such as anxiety, obsessive-compulsive, etc.), and these effects can last even into adulthood, while some children will become more rebellious or even more after being subjected to violence lies. Third, children who are frequently subjected to violence are prone to hypocrisy, cold and nosy, good at lying, and violent tendencies. These behaviors can begin to develop weeks or months after corporal punishment, affecting the formation and development of the individual’s personality, internalizing these negative behaviors as part of the child’s personality. Parents should create a truth-telling environment To prevent children from lying, parents should create a truth-telling environment for their children, for example, by appropriately lowering parents’ high expectations of their children, and by avoiding the use of those means that children fear, such as violent corporal punishment, when they make mistakes, and by using more verbal, behavioral guidance, parental modeling, and other ways that children can accept. From a behavioral point of view, to avoid children lying, we must let children understand that lies not only can not achieve their goals, once exposed may face their more reluctant to accept the discipline, on the contrary, the truth is more likely to achieve their own purposes or reduce the punishment after making mistakes. In addition, parents should be careful to teach by example, before asking their children to be honest, parents themselves first try to be honest and not tell lies in front of their children. Even if sometimes they have to tell well-intentioned lies, they should be careful to guide their children.