The role of women is actually a discipline, from a girl to grow into a woman, a mother, each step is experienced in a different role transformation. So, how to take each step well? Please listen to clinical psychologist Meng Fu and talk about how to handle the intimate relationship with parents, lovers and children. 1. Intimate relationship with parents As a woman, it is very important to have a closure with your family of origin before you are ready to enter the stage of starting a family. The so-called “closure” refers to the real growth from the family of origin, independent adults. The most difficult part of this process is to separate from one’s parents, and this separation is mainly to get rid of the psychological attachment and dependence on them. Clinically, I have encountered some cases where some women have no way to live away from their parents, such as going away to college and working are very difficult, they must stay with their parents; some other parents also grab their children and do not let go, so once these children encounter difficulties and frustrations outside, they will retreat to their families, such as gnawers and older youths, many of whom have the problem of not being able to establish intimate relationships outside the family. Therefore, women must make a division of boundaries with their families of origin, including psychological, physical and economic independence. Psychological independence is marked by the ability to maintain a certain level of connection with the family, but also the ability to live alone away from the family. The relationship is resilient and normal in the sense that if one encounters difficulties outside the family, one can still receive support and help from the family. If this link goes wrong, one cannot move smoothly to the next stage. Of course, the family environment is very important for women to get through this stage successfully. If the parents have a bad relationship, or if one parent has a particularly close relationship with the child over a long period of time, or if there are major difficulties in the family, etc., these can have an impact on the child. Many difficulties in mental health come from childhood, and problems brought about by childhood have not been well resolved, and will affect the development of the latter. 2, and the intimate relationship between the lover We will find in the clinical treatment of some marital problems, although the relationship between the two sexes, but in fact, both men and women they will have some problems in their respective families of origin, so that there is a situation in the current marital relationship. After ending the first intimate relationship with parents, it is possible for women to enter the second intimate relationship, that is, the intimate relationship with their lover. Marriage is actually challenging, such as temperament and personality, values, lifestyle, education level, geographical differences, etc., and requires constant bonding. In talking about this, it goes back to the previous stage of intimacy with parents. The attachment patterns formed between children and their parents when they are young are divided into secure and insecure types. The secure type is stable, she can cope with herself, she has the ability to love and be loved by others, and this type of person has the ability to overcome difficulties when she encounters them. The insecure type, on the other hand, is divided into two types of performance: an avoidant type, who uses an evasive approach when encountering problems; and an ambivalent type, who usually has a violent emotional reaction. Therefore, insecure people are insecure within themselves, and if they encounter insecure challenges, it will be even harder to face them. Today, some families in which the mother is particularly strong or the father is absent are detrimental to the child’s ability to build secure attachments. Now, foreign countries will do some self-growth, self-exploration counseling for both men and women before marriage, such as understanding their own and each other’s temperament and personality, how attachment patterns of people and so on, through these pre-marital education, knowledge of the popularization of the two sides to make the necessary psychological preparation, and then into the marriage relationship. 3, and the intimate relationship between the child The growth of the child has a life cycle of development, from 28 weeks of pregnancy to 28 days of birth of the perinatal period, mainly to ensure the physical development, including brain cells, nervous system, etc., need to strengthen this aspect of health care, such as maternal diet and nutrition, mental adjustment, because the fetus can feel the mother’s mood, so in the mother’s belly, the fetus also needs a stable environment for survival. I would like to place special emphasis on the normal birth of the birth. The diameter of the child’s brain is larger than the mother’s birth canal, and being squeezed by the birth canal during birth is a mechanical stimulation of the brain cells, which has an important impact on the child’s future mental and physical development, because it is a psychological setback that this necessary setback needs to endure, so it is recommended that young mothers maintain a healthy state of mind during pregnancy, and then deliver by normal methods. The period from birth to 18 months is the most important stage in the formation of mother-infant attachment and is very important in helping the child form a secure type of attachment. During this interaction, the child is made to feel that the world is a beautiful and safe place. When a mother is raising a child, she should meet the child’s needs when they are present; when the child does not need them, the mother should not give excessively. The age of 3 to 6 is the gender identity period, and the father’s involvement becomes very important. The child forms a good triangle with the parents, not with one or the other. After these three critical periods, the child’s psychological growth is basically not much of a problem.