1.Sensei, what kind of criteria do you use to recruit counselors for your current hospital? Is there any chance for counselors who do not come from a medical school to work in the hospital? Answer:At present, the professionals recruited by the Department of Psychiatry, Department of Psychosomatic Medicine and Department of Clinical Psychology in our general hospital are all MDs or MDs who have been trained through the standardized residency program and must have a medical certificate of practice and qualification. This year, we have introduced a full-time psychotherapist who graduated with a master’s degree from a U.S. university and is certified as a rehabilitation psychotherapist, to carry out psychological counseling and psychotherapy work of the conversation category. 2.Hello, teacher! I am a mother and would like to ask a question about how to get along with my daughter. My daughter is in her second year of junior high school and we used to get along very well. But in the past year or so, my daughter seems to be very reluctant to talk to me. Except for a couple of words at dinner time, she doesn’t communicate much throughout the day. Of course, I don’t know what my daughter thinks. As a mother, I am very worried for my daughter on the one hand, and feel frustrated on the other. Teacher, is there any way we can break the current deadlock? A: This is a question that many parents of adolescent children often ask. Children entering adolescence begin to have their own assertions and sense of independence, and are prone to express their disagreements with their parents in relatively extreme ways, especially children who previously had a closer relationship with their parents. Therefore, conflicts can easily arise between children and their parents, making it difficult for parents to grasp the relationship with their children, and even struggle with their children’s rebelliousness and antagonism. As a parent of an adolescent child, the way you interact with your child should change as your child grows up; if parents can understand that rebellion is a sign of your child’s independence and growth, a stage that every young person must go through to grow up, they will adapt from a positive perspective and learn to accept what your child does from a more tolerant, accepting and caring perspective; give more understanding, recognition, affirmation and support, encourage your child to develop friendship and closeness with peers The purpose of adolescent growth is achieved when a child carries a strong sense of self-esteem, learns to be responsible for himself or herself, and has the ability to build close relationships outside the home. 3. Teacher, I want to ask a question for my friend. My friend is a woman who is doing well in her career, but divorced her husband last year and has a son who is 10 years old. After the divorce, in order not to let her son feel too much difference, she asked her husband to get up early every day to accompany her to take him to school. She also arranges occasional “family activities” on weekends, but her son already knows that his parents are divorced and is uncomfortable watching their unusual communication. Teacher, I would like to ask you if you think this is a good way to go. Is it better to give my son some “compensation” emotionally or is it better for his psychological development to let him accept the reality openly? A: As a child, the last thing you want to face is your parents’ divorce; your child will internally believe that it is his own lack of good that led to his parents’ divorce, and every child has the desire to make the divorced parents “get back together” and will work hard to do so. Some children even “create trouble” to attract their parents’ attention and “create opportunities” for them to “get together. Personally, I think that when a couple decides to divorce and can no longer be a couple, they should do the necessary closure to the grudges and grievances of the original marriage, and face the failure of the marriage honestly, instead of covering up, avoiding, or even compensating; for a family with a 10-year-old child, it is best for the parents to calmly tell the child the reason for the divorce, making it clear that it is not the child’s problem, and assuring him that no matter what happens in the marriage, as parents, they will always love him and will not abandon him. For divorced families, parents should learn that “although they can’t be a couple again, they can be qualified parents for their children”. 4.Hello, teacher! I am a new counselor, 28 years old, and I am very interested in family therapy. But I don’t have a family yet, will it have any effect on family therapy? If I do, what are the issues I should pay attention to? A: A counselor’s life experience does have a great impact on his/her work. Family therapy is a very special job, more challenging and more demanding for the counselor. Although our national standards are still some distance away from international practice, all professionals engaged in counseling and psychotherapy have to go through the important four-in-one process of professional training, clinical practice, professional supervision and self-experience. Although you have not yet started a family, you are coming from your family and will have an understanding and sense of your family of origin. Therefore, if you want to become a counselor engaged in family therapy, you need to further receive professional training in family therapy, increase your clinical practice of working with families, receive professional supervision in family therapy, and in terms of self-experience, do more work on connecting with your family of origin and develop sensitivity to the system and interpersonal background on top of the original four links. 5.Teacher, I read your article about the role of travel in promoting intimate relationships, and remembered that some time ago, the phrase “The world is so big, I want to see it” almost stirred the hearts of the Chinese people. A: This is not a good question to answer. There are so many people in China, and the society is so diverse. I think a common characteristic may be: everyone wants to explore the unknown world, everyone wants to live the life they want. So, it is a desire, an expectation, a breakthrough. The connotation of “wanting to see” is different for different levels of people; my understanding is that what people want to see is not only the external world, but also the internal world of the self, so as to satisfy their internal needs. In addition to expressing people’s inner feelings and needs at the content level, this unique way of expression is also an important factor that attracts people’s attention and resonance. According to social psychology: people are only influenced by unconscious emotions; it is never the fact itself that influences the group imagination, but the way in which the fact draws people’s attention. 6.Teacher, because my husband and I work, we have to send our one-year-old son back home to be raised by my parents. I know this is very detrimental to the development of early intimate relationships for our children, what can be done to compensate for this to some extent? A: Intergenerational parenting is a very common situation in today’s society. When it comes to early intimacy, it takes about 18 months for the emotional bonding, or attachment pattern, to form during the interaction between an infant and its primary caregiver; the good thing is that you still have a year with your child and have laid some foundation for future development. Regarding the next steps in making some degree of compensation, I personally believe that 1) the quality of the relationship is more important than the quantity of the relationship; 2) the relative stability of the substitute caregiver is also important; and 3) appropriate response, i.e., clearly targeting the child’s signals of need, providing physical care, emotional communication, and affection, and giving the child the opportunity to play, crawl, or engage in other things of his or her own while “autonomous space”. 7. Teacher, I have just been married for six months and have a very good relationship with my husband. But one problem that makes me feel very scratchy is that my husband is very dependent on my mother-in-law, and even we call my mother-in-law when we watch movies as a couple. (We live with my in-laws after marriage) I am worried that over time, my mother-in-law will interfere too much with our life as a couple, which will affect our relationship? I would like to ask your advice, what can I do to make my husband pay more attention to his “little family”? A: From the theory of family development cycle, you are in the second cycle of family development (we call it “regenerative family”), that is, the newlywed family period; the main task of this stage of development is: both parties have to invest emotionally in the new system, form and establish your marriage system, reorganize the family and friends relationships in order to better accept your spouse. Of course, the prerequisite is that both of you need to complete the main tasks of the first cycle, i.e., to distinguish your self in the family of origin, to become psychologically, professionally and economically independent, and to further develop peer relationships; I think that if you can help your husband to have a new awareness and understanding in this regard, you will be able to consciously do some separation from the family of origin and to establish normal boundaries between the family of origin and the regenerated family If you can help your husband to have a new awareness and understanding in this area, you can consciously separate from your family of origin and establish a normal boundary between your family of origin and your new family. 8.Hello teacher! I would like to ask, for counselors who are new to the profession, how to choose the right supervisor? And how do I know if the supervisor I choose is the right one for me? Are there some general criteria? A: Supervision is a kind of learning relationship among professionals, which exists in the context of professional growth and personal growth of all participants; supervision is also a unique effort, in which the supervisor uses personal experience to help the supervisee become a therapist, but not a treatment for the supervisee; according to my personal experience of clinical supervision for more than ten years, I think the process of supervision is more focused on the self-cultivation of the supervisee. A supportive, warm and encouraging supervisory relationship is the core of supervision. Therefore, the above criteria can be referred to in the selection; of course, there are many different theories and schools of psychotherapy, and each theory has a different understanding and focus of work on individual cases, so it is also important for counselors to select different supervisors according to their own theoretical orientation. There are more than one hundred registered psychological supervisors in the Chinese Psychological Association’s Professional Institution and Professional Registration System for Clinical and Counseling Psychology, who have undergone strict, systematic and standardized professional training and qualification, and should be given priority when you choose a supervisor.