You can try the following techniques to avoid breeding jealousy and envy: 1. Record your feelings honestly. Identify the object of negative feelings. For example, “I’m jealous of my sister because everyone in the family is paying attention to her.” Or, “I am jealous of a friend because she is slim.” Confess what kind of insecurity is bothering you. For example, “I don’t get attention from my family because I’m not as interesting as my sister.” Or “I’m always overweight.” Xiao Panpan, a psychiatrist at Guangzhou Brain Hospital, looks further. Trace back to the time when jealousy or envy first arose. Maybe when you were growing up, your domineering sister never let you interrupt. Or at school, when all your classmates were skinny and bony and you were the only one who was fat. Remember how these scenarios made you feel. Have you lost your confidence? Did you label yourself as “useless,” “unattractive,” or “boring” at the time? Write down the details of these experiences. 2. Replace negative messages with affirmations. Observe your insecurities and look into them to see if they have any basis in fact. Is it true that you do not receive family attention or will remain overweight forever? Gather relevant facts to affirm or deny these perceptions. Refocus your attention on increasing your self-esteem. If you have a desire to be jealous or envious of others, tell yourself, “Okay, I know what’s going on and I’m going to turn this around.” For example, you can say, “I’m funny and should go be close to my family.” Or, “I’m fat but I’m not unattractive. And, if I set my mind to it, I’m sure I can lose weight.” Then act accordingly. Show more initiative at family gatherings and don’t let your sister steal your thunder. Or start experimenting with a regimen that works for you, channel your energy constructively, and never waste it on jealousy and envy. 3. Seek professional guidance. Working with a psychotherapist can help you remove the barriers to self-esteem and speed up the reversal of negative feelings.