When you see this topic, your first reaction is likely to be “I have been talking for decades, do you need to teach me how to talk?” Yes, you may be doing well in your career, in the unit, planning, in front of relatives and friends, eight-sided, socially, you may have reached to see people talk, see ghosts talk the realm of ghosts, but I want to talk today is how to talk to “children”. There is such a father, his biggest feeling is “how I say anything, my son is too annoyed with me”. Once the child played games, the father repeatedly urged him to go to dinner, but the child did not have the slightest intention to leave the computer, the child was playing happily, but the father was furious, he said to the child “you are my birth, you must listen to me”, the son was furious, raised a kitchen knife, ruthlessly cut his left arm two knives, while cutting said “You gave birth to it, I’ll give it back to you.” The traditional Chinese concept that the child is an appendage of the parents, parents have the privilege of the child, and the child speaks involuntarily is the tone of command, there is little room for maneuvering, but the child simply will not be like the military absolute obedience. Some families are particularly democratic, all child-centered, what the child says is what, but the child feels that the parents are annoying when they speak. Why are children annoyed? In summary, there are two reasons: first, you do not talk to me properly, I do not like the way you talk; second, you have talked to me, but it is useless. Then how do we talk, so as not to attract children annoyed? 1, listen (before speaking, patiently listen to the child) morning check-up, the ward will often appear such a situation: the doctor asked the child some performance, the child did not finish, the parents interjected. The golden rule of human interaction is “treat people how you want them to treat you, then treat them how you want to be treated. You want to raise a child who is gentle and courteous, then make an example to your child first! Teaching by example is better than teaching by word. When parents do this, children will naturally learn to imitate. When the child speaks, we have to listen with full attention, the child will be easier to talk to us, we do not even have to say anything, the child just say it will feel much better. The actual fact is that you will be able to get a lot more than just a few of the most popular and popular items. You have to admit that parents and children are completely independent individuals, everyone has their own feelings, there is no right or wrong feelings, all feelings can be accepted, of course, certain behaviors must be limited. When a child says, “Chickens are always rolling on the floor, they are dirty, and they have pointy beaks that peck”, we can use “Oh, that’s right”, “Yes”, “Yes, yes”, “Yes, yes”, “Yes, yes”, “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes”. When the child finishes speaking, we can use our own words to help the child express their feelings, “Child, do you think the chickens are dangerous, so you feel nervous and scared, right? . This way the child will feel that you are not only listening, but that you understand. At the same time identify with the child’s feelings, it helps the child to vent some negative emotions, there will be no need to use the action to express. 3. Respect Respect your child as an independent living being and respect the decisions they make about their own life. Many parents think they have an obligation to tell their children the lessons they have learned so that they don’t take the wrong path. For example, when we enroll our children in interest classes, we help them choose to learn OU and English because these will help them choose schools in the future, but they like to sing and dance, and we say to them, “Listen to me, I have eaten more salt than you have eaten rice,” and so on. I feel that mom and dad are better than me, know more than me, I can not, will produce a lack of confidence, pessimism and even anger, despair. The child who cut himself at the beginning was a child who acted horribly under the influence of anger. In fact, there is no smooth path in life, and the so-called detours that children take are their unique life experiences. As long as it doesn’t involve the principles of right and wrong, try to let your children experience more, encourage them to be self-reliant, and give them more patience and time in the long process of growing up with them. Just now I mentioned three ways to talk to children: listening, empathy, and respect. During the patient’s hospitalization, the greatest feeling of many families is the improvement of the parent-child relationship, most prominently the change in the way of conversation. For example, when the child suddenly said in the morning, “Mom, I don’t want to go to recreational therapy today,” the mother would stop whatever she was doing, look at the child and ask, “What’s wrong? Today is Monday, and recreational therapy is a very boring drawing class, and I can’t draw”. The mother immediately understood the child’s plight, “Yes, it’s really boring for someone who can’t draw to participate in a drawing class, and it seems to be hard to participate in recreational therapy.” The child quieted down, and then the mother gave her own advice, “However, many painters don’t know anything about painting in the beginning. You can first participate in one or two times to see how, really do not want to go, we can think of other ways. The child listened, did not say anything else, but was happy to participate in the activities. In fact, children are smarter than you, smarter than you think. There are no perfect parents and there are no perfect children. Allow us to make some small mistakes and enjoy the time of holding the snail for a walk.