Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Next)” was finally released in the hope of many “Harper’s fans”, to conclude the magnificent decade. Snape protects Harry in his own way, and loves Harry’s mother – Lily with the strongest heart, which is the most surprising and touching plot of the film. From the first day he met Snape, Harry hated his indifference and bigotry. Upon entering Snape’s memories, Harry learns that Snape is proud and inferior. He regarded Harry’s father, Jaime, as his lifelong enemy, but unfortunately became defeated again and again. He used hate to arm up the inferiority complex and maintain the dignity of a man. He does not accept sympathy and pity from others, especially Lily. In the face of Lily’s beauty, Snape has a deep sense of inferiority, he did not dare to passionately pursue Lily, even if he and Lily were best friends, even if Lily and he disgusted with the arrogant and arrogant Jaime. In my opinion, Snape inside is a poor child who can not express love, he desperately need friendship and love, but also afraid to get and maintain friendship and love, doomed to live a lonely suffering. Harry, on the other hand, was much more fortunate. If someone asks Harry how to overcome the victory over Voldemort? In fact, it is not the powerful magic and spells, but love and friendship. This is exactly what Voldemort did not have. As Harry said: you have no friendship, you do not know how to love, I feel sorry for you! Hermione and Ron have been helping Harry without complaint, giving much to him and caring for him in everything. When there is danger, more valuable is the selflessness of the partner. And they interpreted this very well. Friendship needs to be tested, and the three of them are also tested in the middle of the danger again and again. Each of them value their feelings, never leave each other, and face danger together. The friendship seen in “Harry Potter” is actually what young people need, especially college students. The inner need does not mean that the reality is satisfied. I learned that some college students currently complain that they cannot make sincere friends, lack confidants, and feel lonely and empty. Words such as “depressed”, “lonely” and “bored” appear more frequently, and it seems that loneliness has become a common problem for contemporary college students. What is loneliness? Loneliness is an unpleasant experience that arises when an individual desires intimacy and cannot satisfy it. Therefore, in recent years, domestic psychologists have gradually begun to pay attention to the loneliness of college students. Some students say, “I can’t make friends after I go to college. Compared with the intimacy in high school, the friends and interpersonal circles in college are all about ‘light’, and I can’t expect too much to make a good friend.” People may wonder how such a dynamic group can fail to make friends and let loneliness “proliferate”. In fact, it is not difficult to answer this question. The biggest obstacle in the way of making friends is the closed-mindedness of college students. The age of college students is generally around 20 years old. This is the period when people are most lonely. At this time, young people have many secrets that they cannot tell others, and they will close their hearts to varying degrees. At the same time, they are eager to be understood and to have heart-to-heart communication with others. This contradictory heart affects the formation of their normal interpersonal relationships. Why do you want to close your heart? Some students may not be able or afraid to communicate with people in a real way because of their personality itself. Some students may have been hurt by their friends in the past. For example, they have been cheated in the past, so they are wary of people and are unable to exchange their true inner world. So it is easy to be isolated by their peers. Wang is one such student “because of the fear of trouble, because of the fear of another disappointment, so sometimes, they close their hearts, the feelings of everyone has become diluted.” Low self-esteem is also an obstacle in the way of dating college students. As we all know, inferiority complex and superiority complex often go together. College students often have higher expectations of themselves than the average person and have a need for narcissism. Some like to show off themselves, some like to challenge authority, some like to be new and different, and some like to be my own way. They desperately want to be respected by others and cannot bear a hint of dissatisfaction or contempt. They are more sensitive and vulnerable in their interactions with classmates and friends. If they are taunted and belittled by their classmates, they may choose to run away and attack, and thus their established friendships will become “faded” or even broken, and they will be like passers-by. Harry Potter’s Snape is a victim of low self-esteem. From the outside he was not a likeable child from childhood, plus his character is timid, timid and eccentric, can not let people like. He believes in his heart that pure wizard blood is noble, but he is a muggle and wizard hybrid, so he can not find his own position. So he calls himself the “Half-Blood Prince” and uses extreme pride to hide his inferiority complex, hiding all his feelings with a cold mask. He was controversial and rejected, and had no friendships or love. The idealized concept of friendship also aggravates the loneliness of college students, who feel the anguish of not having a “soulmate”. With the maturity of their minds, college students become more socialized and have the need for love and belonging, and desire friendship and love. However, in the interaction with friends, some college students are too idealistic and lack sufficient psychological preparation for interpersonal relationships on campus, and they still deal with people like children according to their likes and dislikes. When they find that the other party is different from what they imagined at first, they become disgusted and do not want to maintain the friendship anymore. The fierce competition is also an important reason. In order to cater to the needs of society, college students grind in clubs and internships without having time for friendship. When they spend most of their time on improving their competitiveness, they gradually move away from their circle of friends. Competing with each other also makes the relationship between college students delicate. When they enter college, they are surrounded by excellent classmates and lose the psychological advantage they had in high school. The competition makes sincere communication between classmates become less and less, and the mind is so disturbed that it is impossible to have sincere communication, let alone submit to good friends. The lack of interpersonal skills is also a reason why college students can’t find friends. College students who do not understand interpersonal communication tend to play a “passive and negative social role”, rarely comment on each other’s views, rarely provide their own information, making people feel very boring, no “excitement”. Some foreign studies have found that “lonely people” who lack friends are not sure when to expose themselves and how much is appropriate. When they are expected to expose more, they expose less; when they are not expected to expose too much, they expose a lot. As a result, they are incomprehensible in the eyes of others, who do not know what to do in response to them. This drives away potential friends. Also, a prominent sense of self-centeredness is a problem. Only children are the center of attention for the entire family and have a strong sense of superiority. This causes children to develop a mentality that you all have to listen to me and serve me. With excessive parental care, they do not know how to give to others or take the initiative to love others. Friendship is something that needs to be maintained by both parties. If you refuse to consider each other’s needs and tolerate each other’s shortcomings, it is difficult to maintain a constant friendship. For these reasons, it is easy to understand why college students complain that they cannot make close friends and often feel lonely. So how can we get a satisfactory friendship? This requires our own efforts. 1.To keep tolerance. We should see the unique things in each person and not to demand others by our own standards. Tolerance can reduce conflicts among classmates, eliminate misunderstandings, enhance friendship and improve interpersonal relationships. There is a saying: disagree but can respect. In interacting with people, learning to respect others, you can also get others’ respect. When communicating with classmates on issues that meet disagreement, pointing out subjectively and rigidly or thinking differently can have the opposite effect. In addition, the development of a sense of humor can also help ease tensions, avoid embarrassment and enhance friendship. 2, enhance self-confidence. Only believe in yourself, accept yourself, can trust and accept others. The United States conducted an interesting psychological experiment – the wound experiment. They claimed to volunteers: the experiment is to observe how people react to strangers with facial scars. Each volunteer was placed in a room without a mirror, and a professional Hollywood makeup artist made a bloody, shocking scar on the left side of their face. After the volunteers were allowed to use a small mirror to see how the makeup would look, the mirror was taken away. The key was the final step, where the makeup artist said he needed to apply a layer of powder to the surface of the scar to prevent it from being accidentally wiped off. In fact, the makeup artist secretly wiped off the makeup with a paper towel. Volunteers were sent to the waiting rooms of various hospitals with the task of observing people’s reactions. All the volunteers surprisingly recounted the same feelings: people were ruder and less friendly to them than before, and always stared at their faces. In reality their faces were the same as usual, and the main reason for coming to that conclusion was that false self-perceptions were clouding judgment. How a person sees himself inwardly is how he can feel the eyes in the outside world. This experiment also validates the Western adage that “others see you the way you see yourself.” A calm person will feel the calm eyes; a person with low self-esteem will feel the discriminatory eyes; a kind person will feel the friendly eyes; a rebellious person will feel the critical eyes. What kind of inner world, there will be what kind of external vision. To look at your strengths and weaknesses comprehensively and objectively, to understand your true self better, neither overestimate nor underestimate yourself. This will be more and more sure of themselves, will not be angry because of a slightly sarcastic joke, and will not be ashamed because of the exposure of shortcomings. 3.Let the ideal shine into reality. Friendship is not love, and not affection, can not give you unconditional love. Like Ron, Hermione treated Harry as selfless, pure friendship is, after all, rare. If you feel disappointed in your friendships, think about it: do I want too much? Too much? Because there are some things that it is impossible to give. There is a female college student who comes to the psychological clinic for counseling. She has a close relationship with her mother, and she talks to her mother, just like a friend. The relationship with her classmates is also smooth, and many of them like to chat with her. However, she always felt that something was missing in her heart and she did not have a “soulmate” friend. During the interview, she gradually realized that she was too idealistic and had been looking for a friend like her mother. But in friendship, it is impossible to find a relationship as close as mother and daughter. After she went back, she started to adjust, tried to accept this kind of distance relationship between friends, and slowly opened her heart, and gradually developed a sense of satisfaction with friendship. 4.Friendship and future are equally important. Classmates and friends are intangible assets. Even when you get to the society, you have to contact people and build up connections. And the classmates you meet on campus are likely to be your future career contacts and favorable relationships. Therefore, you should consider developing friendships on campus as part of your “competitiveness”. In addition to actively participating in various clubs and internships, set aside some time to meet new students and maintain relationships with friends. Who says “you can’t have both the fish and the bear’s paw”? 5.Learn interpersonal skills. Many people believe that interpersonal skills are innate and are a result of personality. People with cheerful personalities, interpersonal skills are high; and introverts, interpersonal skills are low. In fact, this is not true. People are not born with the ability to make friends. Interpersonal skills are the ability to deal with people properly. An introvert can still handle his interpersonal relationships well even though he doesn’t like to deal with many people. He can be a quiet but pleasant person to be around. And an extrovert, if he does not grasp the subtleties of interpersonal relationships, he will still suffer many setbacks in interpersonal interactions Some students can easily see through relationships and learn to deal with them; others are relatively late to the party and need to work harder to cope with them. You can ask your parents and elders for interpersonal experience and observe how other students get along with people to gain interpersonal experience. In addition, you can also buy some science books that teach people to deal with interpersonal relationships, and study it as a homework, you will definitely get unexpected rewards. Some people may say: Since it’s so complicated, I’m not going to make friends! But God created people to have relationships. So you can’t escape.