Case 3: Self-destructive Xiaolong – Internet addiction is actually just trying to reduce stress Xiaolong was a notoriously good boy in middle school, usually on time, from school to home two points a line, and his parents did not let him play with his classmates, fearing that he would miss his homework. He had never been disobedient since he was a child. However, his parents never dreamed that he would become obsessed with Internet cafes outside the campus after he started college. In just three months, he had missed many classes, stayed out all night and violated the dormitory management system. In fact, his parents discovered Xiaolong’s abnormal behavior a month ago and called to criticize him severely, but Xiaolong did nothing about it until the class teacher informed his parents to come to school to solve Xiaolong’s “Internet addiction” and absenteeism problem, which simply broke their hearts… …Beijing Huilongguan Hospital Clinical Psychology Department Wu Yaxue Psychologist: Some students may show character problems when they do not adapt to college life or encounter setbacks, such as violating school discipline, absenteeism, alcoholism, addiction to the Internet, etc. …… In the past, these children were easily misunderstood by schools and parents as having poor character. In the past, these children were easily misunderstood by schools and parents as children of poor character, but if punishment is given easily without a thorough understanding of the causes, it may push the child into a worse situation and even ruin the child’s future as a result. Analysis of the cause: It turns out that Xiaolong grew up with a very strict tutor, so it can be said that Xiaolong’s good behavior is to let his parents to discipline out. In fact, Xiaolong always admired people playing online games, but his parents didn’t even buy him a computer in order to let him study well. After he went to college, he had a feeling of being relieved and a bird out of the cage. At the same time, he encountered a lot of difficulties in his study after he went to university, especially the course difficulty deepened a lot so that he could not adapt to it for a while, once, in order to relieve his boredom, he ran to an outside Internet cafe to play games for a while, and felt so good that he would go to the Internet to play games whenever he was in trouble afterwards. It is really difficult to control himself not to play, because, that temptation is too strong …… Comments: Family education is a key to regulate the behavior of children, however, many of our parents only one-sided emphasis on the rules of the child’s behavior, but ignore the child’s playful nature. In fact, the game itself is also a way for children to decompress themselves, but under the strict control of parents, children can not adopt their own method of decompression, so the child is either rebellious parents, really can not rebel will be this desire into a strong desire to force down. In other words, the child only complies with the parents’ wishes in their behavior, but does not internalize these rules as their own habits. Once he encounters frustration in college life and without parental control, he will habitually adopt his own long-suppressed relaxation methods to relieve the pressure, while the parents’ approach at this time is often to reinforce education, unaware that the preaching at this time will, on the contrary, give the child The parents are often reinforcing education, not knowing that the lecture will add pressure to the child, further prompting him to adopt his own set of methods to “relax”. Solution: Eventually, Xiaolong was brought to a counseling center, and Xiaolong found that the psychologist understood his innermost desires better. The psychologist told him that he was not forbidden to play the game, but to go back to school and try to control his behavior on his own. Xiaolong told the psychologist that he actually realized that his behavior was wrong, but the more his parents lectured him, the more annoyed he became, and the more annoyed he became, the more he wanted to go online, thus forming a vicious circle. Later, Xiaolong reached a “four-way agreement” with his parents, the psychologist and the classroom teacher. The parents stopped regulating Xiaolong and let the classroom teacher regularly reflect Xiaolong’s study situation to his parents, while Xiaolong gradually developed good habits of independent restraint under the guidance of the psychologist. This adjustment worked wonders. After six months, Xiaolong overcame his obsession with the Internet by joining the student council, where he found more interesting and school-approved things to do than surfing the Internet.