How can parents do a better job in accompanying their children on their emotional growth journey? This is a topic of great concern to every parent. Compared to their parents’ childhood, today’s children receive more attention, face more challenges, grow up in a more complex environment, and carry more expectations; while today’s parents need to work harder, work longer hours, and are under more pressure, spending less time with their children, who spend a lot of time on TV and computers ….. These factors unknowingly undermine children’s progress in learning peer relationships, communication skills, emotional processing, and independent self-care life skills. Failure to learn effective, age-appropriate interpersonal communication and emotional control skills can have a detrimental effect on a child’s emotional development, making them more likely to become emotional, lose their temper, be impulsive, capricious, and disobedient when things don’t go their way. How can parents improve their ability to deal with their children’s emotional problems and manage their children’s behavior more effectively? How to respond to children’s behavior in the family environment Parents are the most important influence on their children’s emotional growth and are their children’s first emotional coaches. The way parents and children interact during childhood determines the way children interact with the outside world. Establishing such a belief warns parents of the need to give high priority to the quality of relationships and emotional communication in parent-child interactions. The first step is to learn to identify common negative interactions in the family and to minimize them. Common negative family interactions: Many parents believe that the behavioral habits formed when they are young are very important, and that if they do not correct their children’s “bad habits” in time, there will be endless consequences. Parents often do not realize that their “high-profile” correction of their children inadvertently undermine your trust in the child, trust in the child’s natural ability to self-learning, self-correction, and parental distrust, children often can not trust themselves, lack the ability to self-judgment, everything needs the parents’ willingness to head. Lacking self-affirmation, children often lack the ability to tolerate and cushion themselves when things don’t go their way, and are prone to self-blame, chagrin, and tantrums. Every child develops a sense of security, self-confidence and self-esteem in an environment where he or she is accepted and affirmed. When a child makes a mistake, learn to see through the surface of things to understand the child’s inner desires and emotional experiences, such as hitting his shoes when they don’t fit; tearing the head of paper and hitting his own head when his drawing is broken; losing a game of chess and throwing a tantrum ….. From these external behavioral manifestations we all see the child’s motivation and desire to get the drawing right and to win the game is good, what the child lacks is the ability to withstand in the face of failure and cannot tolerate the emotional outbursts that come from not being as good as they should be. What we see in the child’s frustration is a consistent self-denial mechanism, a lack of self-affirmation to cushion the blow of frustration. Parents must learn to protect the positive behavioral motivation behind their child’s tantrum before they begin to criticize and educate their child, telling their child that in mom and dad’s opinion, you want to win is a good wish, and that at this moment, what the child needs is not parental blame and denial of his emotions, but an urgent need to learn from parents how to tolerate discontent and how to maintain a peaceful attitude when things don’t go well. What is reflected is that the parent’s tolerance is no longer enough in the face of the child’s episodes and can no longer manage their emotions well, meaning that the child does not have a template for good behavior. Sometimes the message conveyed by the way of interaction is more influential than the content of the communication or the words spoken. Under the premise of modeling good behavior, wait until your child’s emotions have calmed down, then communicate with your child, affirm the good behavior your child already has, discuss together more brilliant ways than tantrums, assist your child in practicing new methods, learn to express yourself in words when you feel angry, aggrieved, or chagrined, and let your child experience that tantrums are slowly being phased out. Sometimes when faced with a child’s destructive behavior, the tolerance we parents have is far from adequate, and emotions get out of control to respond by our own nature, inadvertently speaking many emotionally destructive words and doing emotionally destructive things that take us farther and farther away from the goal of helping our children, such as shouting at this child, scolding, losing our temper, being cold, nagging, sarcastic, rehashing old stories…common Questions with blame, distrust: Why …..? Words that discourage the child: Bad luck for mommy, why are you …… Commanding, threatening tone: If you don’t …. I will not …. , etc. The parent-child relationship is a fundamental project, and unintentional damage and destruction to the parent-child relationship can greatly reduce our efforts to help our children, and even form a negative cycle that breeds malignant results. Negative behaviors once perceived can trigger us to change. The process of parent-child communication is the sharing of feelings between parents and children, allowing your child to enter your inner world, an emotional exchange that cannot be interpreted as reasoning or interrogation. Spending time with your child is a very important element of emotional communication. Spend relaxing time together every day, play activities that your child enjoys, take the lead with your child, convey your love with a warm smile and caring eyes, and share the fun of life together. Learn to appreciate your child’s strengths and choose words of encouragement that enhance your feelings such as: When you ….. Mom and Dad are happy when you When you …. When you grow up, you really grow up. You did it on your own, …keep it up! When a child is facing emotional confusion, parents need to listen intently and patiently, expressing understanding and respect. Use this as a basis to gain trust, inspire and encourage children to express their emotions and feelings, and tell parents what is on their mind. Do not prematurely use reasoning to evaluate whether a child’s feelings are deserved or undeserved; as long as the feelings are real to the child, we must hold an understanding attitude. On the basis of the child’s full emotional catharsis, use positive attention to gain cooperation, first to affirm the part that the child is doing well, for the part that is not enough parents can discuss the details with the child through a new perspective, through communication parents try to do further positive transformation of the negative ideas and unreasonable behavior that the child has, give your advice to help the child in similar situations have new positive behavior response patterns. Step by step and timely positive feedback makes the good behavior fixed and maintained. A final word of advice to share with parents: To change a child’s behavior, parents must start by changing themselves, changing their own attitudes, thoughts and practices. Only when we change can we drive behavior change in our children. It is up to us to put the responsibility of starting the virtuous circle on ourselves.