The nagging that often happens in our hearts. Translated into a proper noun is psychological conflict. Why there is a psychological conflict, the simplest is the conflict between reality and idealized results. Reality I really can not control, too many random things happen, change faster than planned. For example, I plan to do something today, but then a friend’s acquaintance comes to do a consultation and I have to receive it. A friend has an emergency and I have to find a way to help solve it. There is an emergency in the ward and a phone call I have to solve quickly. I do a lot of roles in this society, and role positioning will have these occurrences. The frequency of occurrence will also be related to responsibility, ability, personality traits, whether selfishness, etc. If you choose to be a lonely person, I do not help others, others do not bother me, so that life will indeed be a lot less things, but when their own things, do not feel the state of the world, no one cares about me. Give and get must be proportional, the difference is that the things that return us is not what we focus on and look forward to. Often we focus on the present benefits and ignore the rewards given to us. The difference in focus is the great god of psychological conflict. Idealization, is the nature of our human nature, we tend to profit and avoid harm, hedonism, and so on. Therefore, when I am torn, I ask myself three questions, first, what are the parts of this thing that I can control? For example, if I teach a competition, what I can control is to perform my best, the result is not in my control. Second, I would ask myself, “Did I choose to do it? If I choose to care about this matter, I will not be afraid to suffer and do it without complaining! Third, how do I bear the result? If you pay a lot, can not control too much, and can not bear, then end as soon as possible. Ask yourself more about your heart and do what you need. How to judge whether the need, that depends on our wisdom thinking.