In recent times, I have been getting more and more visitors who consult with me because of temper tantrums. Some of them are consulting for themselves, while others are consulting for their friends and relatives. However, the symptoms they expressed were generally similar: they had little communication with others, could not listen to different opinions, and could not tolerate the slightest difficulty; they were prone to lose their temper at the slightest thing, and in extreme cases, they even smashed things and cursed and hit others. In the eyes of friends and relatives, they may feel that they do not respect others, or even a lack of humanity; but the parties themselves know, in fact, every time after the tantrum is quite regretful. But the next time they encounter the same scenario, the temper tantrum still comes uninvited. For this reason, they often blame themselves, but they can’t do anything about it. What is the psychological reason behind such a temper tantrum? Is there any way to correct it? These are the two questions that most of my clients are most concerned about. In the clinic, I have indeed received such grumpy patients more than once, and I have also received their family members more than once. Sometimes, without seeing the patients in person, I was able to drive changes in the patients through the changes in their family members. Even after just two or three consultations, the patient will have a significant change. Some patients, after significant changes in their own families, have excitedly said to me, “The method you taught me has worked for me once and for all. I don’t think that there has ever been a person that has changed the course of my life so dramatically. Thank you so much for your help!” How such obvious and even somewhat miraculous results are created is something many patients will be particularly curious about. In fact, in the end, there is really nothing special about it, except that I can relate to the heart of such a patient. Why am I able to experience the heart of such a patient, and not the family member with whom he spends his time? There is nothing special about it either, except that I have lost my temper in life. I, on the other hand, have that little bit of self-reflective awareness and corrective attitude. Observing myself, experiencing myself, reflecting on myself, correcting myself, and then pushing myself to others is one of the ways I can get into the heart of my visitors. Back to the topic of temper tantrums, can I use two analogies to explain this matter? The first analogy is that of an injured animal. Anyone with a little life experience will know that when an animal is injured, especially if it is injured by a human, it is very difficult for others to approach it, even if we have a good intention to heal it. If we rashly approach, it will angrily grimace at us, and sometimes bite us hard, so that people who want to help him but are defenseless are injured by it. The mindset of some of the grumpy people is similar to this. Modern advances in psychology have a clearer explanation for this. In 1996, Baumeister et al. reviewed a large body of research on predictors of interpersonal violence. They found that if a person has highly exaggerated, unstable, or uncertain self-concepts, they will turn to violence when circumstances threaten these positive self-concepts. In 2003, Kernis introduced the concept of fragile high self-esteem to describe this type of person. He argued that those who rely on self-protection or self-enhancement strategies to maintain high self-esteem imply the fragility of this type of high self-esteem itself, and he referred to the following three types of high self-esteem collectively as fragile high self-esteem: inconsistent high self-esteem, unstable high self-esteem, and conditioned high self-esteem. Inconsistent high self-esteem refers to high scores on external self-esteem and low scores on implicit self-esteem, which may indicate that such high self-esteem individuals hold positive self-imagery at the conscious level but negative self-worth at the unconscious or less conscious level. Unstable high self-esteem refers to the extent to which an individual’s sense of self-worth fluctuates over time and situations. Conditional high self-esteem refers to the extent to which individuals depend on a specific criterion or outcome for their self-esteem, such as achieving an achievement goal, receiving special treatment from other people, etc. Although there are various types of high self-esteem, they exhibit some similar negative psychological characteristics: low levels of psychological well-being, and more hostile, aggressive behavior. There are many people who are socially extensive and exceptionally well liked outside the home who are tyrants at home for much the same reason. They do so mainly because of problems in their intimate relationships with significant others in their early years, like animals that have been wounded. The treatment of these people requires a long process of inner reconstruction until their fragile high self-esteem becomes a secure high self-esteem. The second metaphor is that of an inflated balloon. Many people have blown up balloons. Before we blow it up, the balloon is soft, and no matter how much we tap it, it will not jump up; however, when we keep blowing air into it and the balloon becomes bulging, it will jump up as high as we touch it. The mentality of a part of the grumpy people is similar to this. They have taken on and accumulated a lot of pressure in their lives, and their inner hopes and thoughts have not been satisfied for a long time (I call this state “emotional hunger”), just like a balloon being filled with air; the slightest disappointment will make them furious, just like a balloon jumping high at the slightest touch. The treatment of this type of person, on the one hand, to help him vent his stress and dissatisfaction, like deflating a balloon; on the other hand, but also to stop the continued pumping into the balloon. The sad and irritating thing is that some times, or most of the time, it is they who pump themselves, and they do not stop pumping easily. Even with the persuasion of doctors, sometimes it still does not help. Therefore, the treatment of these people, although less difficult to treat than the previous part of the people, but also need a long-term process. However, I always insist on one point: there is not a single one of these grumpy patients who does not expect themselves to change inside. Behind their temper tantrums is a heart that has been easily hurt and suppressed for a long time. It’s just that many people are intimidated by their temper tantrums and don’t see the heartbreaking part of them at all. From my own experience, I have been on the path of change and will be able to help them on this path of change.