In this issue, we will teach you a small technique in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to deal with various upsets and negative emotions in life, with a high practical index. In the following example, I will use the most commonly encountered upsets in life as an example: I have such a good relationship with ta, why doesn’t ta say hello to me? Cognitive therapy believes that emotions arise from people’s thoughts about the event, not the event itself. Let’s take an example: Event: This morning I greeted my colleague Li, who I have a good relationship with, but she didn’t pay any attention to me. This is a prelude to distancing myself from her. Thought 2: Maybe she didn’t notice me, or she was in a bad mood today. According to this same event of different views, naturally will produce two different emotions and behavior. Emotion 1: Angry, sad, anxious. Emotion 2: Peaceful. Result 1: The relationship becomes more and more strained. Outcome 2: Normal relationship. Based on this, cognitive behavioral therapy can change people’s emotional response to an event by changing their perception of that event. So how should one implement cognitive behavioral therapy on their own to improve anxiety? 1. Record the scenario that led to the occurrence of anxiety: greeting Li, but she ignored me. 2. Recall what you were thinking at the time: I must have provoked her in some way. 3.What is the evidence to support these thoughts: she looked angry and left without even looking back; we had a falling out over some trivial matter a few weeks ago? 4. What is the evidence that does not support these ideas: in general, we have always had a good relationship, we often go out together to watch movies, she often brings me lunch, and a few months ago I was hospitalized, she has been with me. 5. Is there any other explanation for this anxiety scenario: she has been under a lot of pressure recently, a project in hand was not implemented very well, often criticized at the boss, absent-mindedly did not notice me greeting it; perhaps she needed to report the project progress to the boss urgently at that time, so could not care about me, and then forgot about this small matter. 6, the worst outcome will be what: our relationship will become increasingly distant, shopping on the street without company, something can not find her help. 7, even if the worst results happen, what should you do: Although it is a pity to lose this friend, but I am in the company and Xiao Wang, Zhao and other relations are okay, maybe I will try to further relations with them, life will return to the same as before. 8, what is the best result: she found me and explained to me that at that time the mood is very bad, no energy to take care of anyone, I hope I do not mind. 9.What is the most likely outcome: she may not remember the incident, but I will not alienate her and will continue to be good friends with her because she has been really stressed lately and many things need to be handled by her. 10.Change of opinion: If I believe that idea 2 will make me feel much better; besides, it really seems that anxiety is clouding my eyes and I believe more that idea 2 is in line with the reality. 11. Look at the problem in a new perspective, and the anxiety is improved. For thought 1, this is what we often call negative “automatic thinking”, which is often unaware of its existence, but affects our emotions and behavior all the time. For example, if you read this, you may have automatic thinking: “That method above is practical, it should work”, “This method may not work for me”. People in a state of distress and anxiety will tend to accept negative thinking uncritically, which will lead to more anxiety and more interpersonal tension, and in turn, anxiety and interpersonal tension will further entrench negative thinking, creating a vicious cycle. Cognitive behavioral therapy provides us with a tool to test our thinking, allowing us to consciously and systematically address the negative automatic thinking that exists in our minds. It is also important to note that some erroneous core beliefs are difficult to detect in the form of self-help and require the help of a professional psychotherapist to further expose and correct them.