In the face of “empty nest”, “empty nest family” in the traditional sense refers to the “empty nest in old age” that occurs after the age of 60, and in the case of multi-children families, when all the children have left home, the parents who have entered the “empty nest stage” are basically close to or have entered the stage of old age, and the “empty nest” period is shorter. In a multi-child family, after all the children have left home, the parents in the “empty nest stage” are basically close to or have already entered the stage of old age, and the duration of the “empty nest” is relatively short. However, with the arrival of their only child’s schooling and working life, a considerable number of middle-aged couples enter the “empty nest stage” earlier. Different people have different ways to cope with it, but it is always necessary to be in a calm mood, calmly face, to take the initiative to self-regulation. First of all, to do a good job of psychological adjustment. “After 90” of the “empty nest” parents should realize that the children “leave the nest” is the inevitable trend of family development, the children grow up, leave from their parents, start a family, nursing their own! The children grow up and leave their parents to start their own families and raise their own offspring, which is a sign of the children’s maturity and a natural law of human beings. With the start of the new semester, many students, especially college freshmen, have to leave their families to go to school outside of the country, and for most families of three, their parents have to keep the “empty nest”. Only child is the center of gravity of the family, the child suddenly left, parents are often very uncomfortable. Daughter left home, mother often lose sleep “daughter got into a major university, which is what we are looking for, but I now regret to send her so far away to study.” Ms. Chen, who lives in the high-tech district of Tai’an City, said. Her daughter Wu got into Sichuan University this year. 26 August, never left Tai’an Wu accompanied by her father went to Chengdu. Due to the big difference in temperature between the two places, Wu got sick on the first day she arrived in Chengdu. In order to take care of her, her father stayed in Chengdu for two more days before returning to Tai’an. The day her father left, Wu called home in tears, saying she was very uncomfortable with the new environment and regretted enrolling in a foreign province. “I cried in a hurry after listening to the phone call. I was worried about what happened to her over there. Now I think about my daughter almost every day, afraid that she will not be able to adapt to the water, get sick, won’t be able to take care of herself, and will be cheated …… As long as I don’t get a call from her for a day, I don’t have the heart to do anything else. Often insomnia at night.” Ms. Chen said. Son is not at home Parents have nothing to say “In the past, my husband and I could hardly get away from our son’s topic every day. Not long ago he went to Xi’an to attend university, and I feel that the house has become quiet all of a sudden these days. Now my husband and I don’t seem to have much to talk about when we are at home and idle.” Ms. Lin, who lives in the Great Wall District, said. Ms. Lin’s son was admitted to Xi’an Jiaotong University this year, and at the end of August, he left for Xi’an alone with his luggage. A few days after her son’s departure, Ms. Lin noticed that the atmosphere at home began to change. “For example, during meals, my son used to talk the most at the dinner table, and we would follow and chat, which was very lively. Now when my husband and I eat, we hardly chat, and the only sound in the room is the TV.” Ms. Lin said that she and her husband have been married for more than 20 years, although their personalities and interests are not quite the same, but the relationship is still stable, especially in the care and education of the son is very cooperative, the son has always been the center of gravity of all family affairs. Son is not at home for more than half a month, she gradually found herself and her husband more and more no common language, love to watch the program, hobbies and so on are not the same, the two also had a few conflicts. Daughter is not at home, even the dishes are too lazy to do these days, living in the sunny neighborhood of Ms. Zhang almost did not take much effort to prepare three meals. And once upon a time, their family almost every day to open the “big meal”. “Daughter in middle school, learning pressure, but also very picky eaters, my husband and I will be every now and then to carefully cook a nutritious meal. This year she was admitted to Beijing Normal University, not long ago to report to the school, the family left me and my husband. We do not pay attention to eat nutritious meals now, sometimes lazy to cook, just buy some ready-made, just make up a meal.” Ms. Zhang said. Ms. Zhang is a housewife, after her daughter left home, she felt as if she was “retired”, all of a sudden no enthusiasm to do things. “Life seems to have become meaningless, and now all I want is for my daughter to come back sooner.” She said. At this time of the year in our psychological clinic, there are many parents of freshmen who face problems similar to those mentioned above, especially mothers. Their problems can generally be divided into three main categories: 1, parents are not independent enough, usually too tight with the child, the child left home at once to adapt to. Psychological analysis: the root cause of this kind of problem is that parents and children in the long term together do not grasp a reasonable “boundary”, that is, to leave enough personal space for the child. Some parents tend to regard their children as part of themselves to care for, blurring the “boundary” between each other. Once their children leave them, these parents feel that something very important is missing, and become emotionally unstable, anxious, irritable, and at a loss for words. These negative emotions will sometimes infect the child, so that they are also anxious. Tips and Countermeasures: These parents should first realize that this is a problem, rather than letting it develop unnoticed. Once the parents have realized, timely change of mind, see the child as an independent individual to look at the problem, it is not difficult to solve the problem through self-regulation. 2, the husband and wife relationship is not harmonious enough, rely on the child as a solace or bond, the child left the problem exposed. Psychological analysis: This kind of parents is the original couple is not very good, for many years has been relying on the child to do each other the communication link, or one of the parties because of dissatisfaction with the marital relationship and the child as a comfort to maintain the relationship, unintentionally has been using the child to escape from the problem. Once the child leaves the home, the problems between the couple are exposed. Tips: These parents should realize that the problem is not with the children, but with the couple. If you can’t solve the problem through mutual communication and efforts, you should consider seeking help from marriage psychologists, rather than using children to escape the problem. 3. Parents underestimate the potential of their children to live independently outside the home. Psychoanalysis: These parents are generally cautious and insecure. Children all of a sudden left their protection, go to a distant place to live, they think that the child can not, that will not, outside will be in danger, often some catastrophic imagery projected onto the child, the more they think, the more afraid, self-torture. Tips countermeasures: First of all, do not think that the child will only grow under your care, in fact, the potential of the child can be infinitely enlarged. Without parental care, they may grow faster. Secondly, you may want to recall your child’s experience of successfully handling things independently, magnify their successes, and then convince yourself that you believe in your child’s ability, and leave more opportunities for your child to get exercise.