Good interpersonal relationships are an important element in building a harmonious society, and a prerequisite for one’s integration into society and survival and development. Social phobia is a psychological disorder that hinders our interpersonal relationships and seriously affects our normal interactions with others. It seriously endangers people’s mental health.
First, what is social phobia: first let us understand what is social phobia?
In social situations appear anxiety and fear, or in interaction with people show shame, uneasiness, terror, shivering and other persistent emotional reactions, feel pain, so there is avoidance of social situations, this is called social phobia.
Second, the social phobia type of judgment
1, introverted social phobia: in most occasions are afraid, afraid to take the initiative to interact with people, afraid to become the center of attention, that everyone is watching him, uneasy, especially afraid of making a fool of himself.
2, special social fear: fear of specific occasions. Such as on-stage speech, performance with strong tension, fear emotions.
3, the evil social fear, because watching AV, jerking off, too much inappropriate sexual behavior caused by social fear.
You can check your own type to see which kind of social fear belongs to.
Third, according to the symptoms of classification.
1, line of sight fear: afraid to look at each other, do not know where to look better. Fear of meeting and looking at their own eyes and others. (metaphobia)
2, afterglow phobia: helpers use afterglow to look at people, especially in front of the opposite sex to show the nervousness and anxiety.
Attention is focused on the side of the person ~ (no meta and people right thing, the source is the emptiness of the eyes after jerking off, no gas to focus on the frontal view ~
3, terror of being seen, fear of being looked at (heart evil is wrong, so fear of being stared at)
4, horror of the colorful eyes, the fear that their gaze contains something erotic, or the fear that their sight will give the impression of nastiness. Not to mention, the performance of the yellow book to read more
5, stuttering terror, and others when talking, speaking out of tune, or shivering, stammering, etc.. No such symptoms when one is alone. (Jerking off stuttering)
6, blushing fear: excessive anxiety about blushing, fear of being detected, think that blushing in front of others is a very shameful thing, and therefore distressed. (On the bus deliberately run two steps, functional behavior disorder, may also hide. Growing a beard~)
7, heterophobia, and the opposite sex of your choice or and colleagues, when talking, feel horror, fear and other situations.
8, sweating phobia, and others when talking to start nervous, from the forehead, more and more flow, often accompanied by blushing and other symptoms.
Fourth, the causes of various phobias.
(A): First of all, you are most concerned about the evil class of social phobia. Why does sexual misconduct cause social phobia?
(1) lack of energy: from the first to the fourth, it is obvious to the quitters that they are afraid of interacting with people and their eyes, the eyes are the windows of the soul, in the fly brother’s experience of quitting sex post, jerking off too much, the eyes are not bright, the eyes are godless this symptom is not run away, right?
(2) the aura problem, words for the heart, words like heart painting. Not to mention that the eyes are the window to the most real self. A person full of evil, how will have a full of positive energy and sunshine aura, imagine, just watched AV, who can not face red heart to lecture, just before the hairdresser’s room after Miss, go home and parents, wife and children to talk about how it is possible to be completely calm and comfortable, the same way a man who often jerked off, and how will be a positive natural and regular people interaction?
(3) the bile problem, or for example, men are Yang, women are Yin, often watch films jerking off, Yang Qi down Yin excess is certain. I’m sure you’ve all seen the picture of the ghost behind the woman who lost her footing, you can also compare yourself to whether you are timid, afraid to be alone, afraid to go to the bathroom at night for fear of ghosts? On the one hand, too much sperm leakage, on the other hand, bite sperm ghosts follow, usually, stammering, shivering, afraid to look at people, afraid of open space, that still can not run?
(4) The problem of the eyes, evil people always look at people’s eyes, in addition to the reasons listed above. The evil people whether they admit it or not, subconsciously they will always say to themselves, no matter how watching a film jerking off is a shameful thing, their own conscience constantly tortured their own hearts, a long-term conscience guilt people, eyes dodging is also natural ~
(5) lack of energy, to give an example we all know, sleep late at night, the next day will not have the spirit, look at people when the eyes will be unreal. The same way, after jerking off? The nature of the sleep is similar to the lack of sleep, the mind is dull, lack of energy, all day long, no energy. Therefore, when talking to people often because of the loss of self-control, say the ridiculous words. Please pay attention to a code in psychology, how you treat others, how others will treat you. People who jerk off are often in this mental state, so it is only natural that they are not respected and belittled in social situations. Post a set of data to illustrate the problem.
(b): Causes of introverted social phobia.
Such problems of social fear of the general psychological problems are more
1, genetic causes.
(1) parental genetic factors: such as neurotransmitter factors, here not to discuss too much ~
(2) successive flow: the habits of previous lives will be brought to this life, I have many cases of hypnotherapy in hand, after the death of the person’s previous life, his habits will be reflected in his body in this life. Simply put, it is the present self that is very similar to the temperament of the previous life.
2, lack of social skills: In families with many children, the eldest son or daughter usually has less attachment phenomenon, and the social skills are generally stronger after adulthood. Nowadays, in one-child families, parents are overprotective and too much of an underwriter, so children lack social experiences.
3. Lack of self-confidence.
(1) Many parents educate their children in an overly violent manner, preferring to use force to educate.
(2) compare with other children, destroy the child’s self-confidence.
(3) Bullying by schoolmates.
(4) The shadow left by special events.
5, since the reform and opening up of the traditional concept and the collision of Western values, in comparison, the incidence of social terror among Western teenagers is lower than that of Eastern teenagers, the reason is that Westerners are self-centered, they are their own God, while Easterners are evaluating themselves by the good or bad interpersonal relationships. Therefore, a momentary social failure can easily cause a vicious circle after the decline in self-evaluation.
5. Introversion, over-sensitivity, too much attention to the evaluation of others, too strong self-esteem, love to take the bull by the horns, serious inferiority complex. This is the appearance of introverted personality traits, generally in the dead-end books, the lack of social people will be reflected.
6. The personality is not fully developed and the three views are not established. In the confusion of life goals and positioning, once encountered a variety of events, because there is no bottom line and standards, coupled with the lack of individual independence. So it leads to psychological adjustment and poor coping mechanism.
(C) The causes of specific social fears.
(1) Bullying in a specific environment. For example, they are humiliated, attacked, and respond inappropriately at school, in the workplace, or on specific occasions. Therefore, social phobia can occur in similar special occasions.
(2) Poor family environment, parents who are too strict or too open in their parenting style, or even parents who are too harsh or protective of their children. The far-reaching effects of childhood events that had a great impact on them.
(3) for some public occasions especially fear, such as speeches, performances, performances, sales and other specific occasions, the staff of these occasions because they always need to socialize with a purpose, and therefore subject to greater psychological pressure, if the social failure in these occasions or make a fool of themselves, then it is easy to cause psychological pressure and social pressure outbreak, from then on, especially afraid of similar occasions.
Five: treatment of social phobia we have to do in the psychological preparation of those?
(A) adjust and establish three views: (world view, life view, values)
In this era where material life is bigger than spiritual life and relatively impatient. It is important to note that although people’s material life is abundant and there is a relative surplus of information. However, there is a relative lack of connotation of what really belongs to them. You can ask yourself, how do you perceive the world? In your mind, what is valuable? What kind of life do you want to live? I think for these three questions, most people do not have a very clear answer. We can often see a very strong character of the queen, the queen. When communicating with people will always be confident, imposing, and can block some relatively introverted boys can not say anything. In fact, after a careful analysis, you can come to this conclusion. The imperial ladies are very clear about their values, which belongs to (there), while many people’s values are very ambiguous or simply not. This is (none). In this way, if two people collide, it is only natural that the one who does not have is completely overshadowed by the one who does. This is also the reason why girls with personality are relatively sought after by men. The above said such a long paragraph, the practical significance for everyone is that with a firm core and relatively rich connotation, social time, their own ideas will not be easily influenced by others, into a wallflower, in a person alone, will go to live the life they want. When looking at a friend who is good at socializing and talking eloquently in the crowd, while envious, will take the initiative to ask themselves, is this what I am after? Is this a valuable thing to do? In a nutshell, establish a personality or concept, even if he is wrong.
(B) shake off the traditional concept of their own bondage.
The human self is divided into three layers, the inner self, the interpersonal self and the social self.
In the Western concept, what kind of person one wants to be is not determined by others, but by oneself, and what kind of life one wants to lead, as long as it does not violate the law, then it has nothing to do with anyone. That is, I, in order to grasp my true self, must step out of my social roles and social relationships.
On the contrary, in the definition of our traditional culture, the core of our personality is defined by interpersonal relationships, such as: the child’s father, the child’s mother, Director XX, Director XX. A person’s personal orientation and expectations are defined by his social roles and relationships even before he is socially active. In a nutshell: The world as I see it, I define it myself, and other people’s perceptions have nothing to do with me.
(iii) Lowered expectations and bold socialization.
A major concern of social phobics is that they will fail socially and lose face in front of other people, especially girls.
Did such a thing, once, online to meet a girl, the first time out, she said she wanted to go somewhere to drink, open the menu, without changing his face on the order of almost 2,000 yuan of wine, the waiter just to get the wine, I said, wait, turn around and ask the girl, order so much wine who pays? Of course you pay for it! That 88, the master does not accompany ~ behind the voice of the furious, you TM is not a man? I returned a sentence, I am not a man you say not to count ~ later a check to figure out, the woman is a wine tote ~
In fact, this story is to tell everyone, their success or failure and others have nothing to do with it, others will not pay special attention. Only abandon the so-called baggage of thought, hold the indifferent mentality, in the social will get unexpected success. In a nutshell: Don’t overthink it, you are not the center of attention in the eyes of others. It’s no different from anyone else.
(d) Genki is the root, socialization is the leaf.
There are many people who are difficult to adjust their temper and always do not recognize the relationship between jerking off and social fear. Let’s look at the following set of data: The proportion of social fear among Japanese teenagers accounts for 30% of neurosis, and And: the chances of the Japanese youth social terrorism is much higher than the Chinese, it is reasonable to say that the Japanese concept of sex is open enough, right? Most of the world’s H movies are from Japan, but Japan’s teenage spirit still collapsed. What does this mean? The strength of the vital energy, the adequacy of the essence directly affects the psychology of social interaction. The brain crest fluid is connected to the crest marrow, jerking off too much consumes the crest marrow fluid, kidney essence is sufficient, the gas is topped up, people have spirit. Many senior quitters are not cured of their social fears, and their experience is that when they quit for a long time, their aura is naturally strong, and when they talk to people the crest seems to be topped by a gas in the back of the head. Can you be afraid of talking to people? Can you be afraid? Some of you often ask me, “Brother, what should I do if I can’t control my desire to jerk off? I’d like to answer here in passing: the brain is divided into sensual and rational aspects, sensual is the pleasure of jerking off, rational is the harm of jerking off, so when you want to jerk off and can’t control it, it means that you don’t know the harm of jerking off deeply enough! If you really have a strong desire, you can take a rubber band tied around your hand, and when the desire rises, use the leather band to continuously play your wrist until the desire disappears. Teenagers, don’t jerk off, strong jerking off to the ashes ah.
Six: how to treat social phobia: many people have a misconception about psychotherapy, that we just need to prescribe a medicine, helpers eat the disease on the good, in fact, far from it, the subject of treatment for mental illness is the helpers themselves, we only play a supporting role, how much determination they are willing to put in treatment, how much effort, the better the relative healing effect ~
On the evil social fear.
The first thing to do is to make yourself very determined to make a decision, I do not want to go on like this social fear. I must give up sex. The actual fact is that you will find a lot of people who have been in the business for a long time. In case you break the ring, find out why you broke the ring and patch it on hard to stop committing it next time!
2, adhere to the movement, whether it is evil social fear or introverted social fear, movement is a very good recipe! It helps the vitality and body recovery, to a certain extent, can also expand their social side, intense sports can also be cultivated in their fearless spirit, personal recommendation basketball, after all, which girl will like a squatting at home geeks it?
3, with positive action to correct and repent.
The reason for evil social fear is none other than
1, watching too many things that should not be seen.
2, did too many things that people are afraid to see.
From then on
1, should not want to think.
2, should not see what not to see.
3, should not listen to do not listen.
4, should not say not to say.
5, should not do not do. This is to do with practical action.