Couples come to my office one after another, some even accompanied by their parents: newly married, or married for a long time, but always unable to complete intercourse to varying degrees. Some are recently married, some have been married for a month, some for a year or even several years. And basically these couples are or at least one of them is having zero sexual experience. Faced with such couples, sometimes facing the whole family of two generations in front of me anxiously and intermittently spilling their situation, I deeply feel the anxiety and even depression inside each one of them, deeply feel the inner reluctance to say it out loud but very helpless. As a young person, I wanted to help them as much as I could, so once I had time, I would separate men and women to understand the situation individually, and then judge the general direction according to the situation. For those who have serious marital and emotional problems, I will also introduce a few effective counselors. In other cases, I will use counseling techniques to resolve bad feelings while conducting the necessary medical tests. I am very happy that several couples have successfully passed the important “first time. I would like to say a few words to those couples who have had no sexual experience. First, many people want their first time to be “perfect”, but what is the standard of perfection? Many people take island movies as the standard, which is completely misguided. Real life does not have the function of time pause, but video clips can. Real life does not have the need to entertain the public, but video editing does. So what is perfection? I think perfection varies from person to person, and when you evaluate your own happiness by someone else’s standards, I don’t think you will get the peace of mind that comes with satisfaction in anything. Second, how to face the failure of the first time? Many men feel confident even if they don’t have a single sexual experience. Some women have heard from their girlfriends that some of their first experiences were creepy and heartbreaking. So after the first failure occurs, either the woman blames the man and thus the man is devastated, or the man blames the woman and thus the woman enters a vicious circle of constant fear and constant rejection. So how to face? Very simple, try again another day. We all feel that the first time sex failure is incredible so there is a psychological gap. But in fact, the first time the failure rate is very high. It’s just that no one will talk about it in their mouths. When you know that in fact many people around you have different degrees of failure for the first time, I think it should be more frank. Third, there should be no blame if there is no right or wrong. Some people say their significant other moves very wrong, or even say it’s not standard. So it’s the TA’s problem. Then I would like to ask, is there a standard for this too? The intimate actions between men and women are up to two people, as long as both men and women agree that it is right, both have enjoyed that is suitable. So, if you can make yourself as well as the other party enjoy it more, more communication, rather than with the pursuit of the so-called right and wrong. Each person’s body sensitive areas, sexual activities are different, how both sides feel how to sublimation must not be a “right or wrong” can be roughly divided. Fourth, seek common ground while reserving differences, slow to treat it. There are a lot of couples in conversation with me even revealed extreme disappointment, affecting the marriage and family. I think the establishment of marriage and family sex is an important part, but I believe that most of them are not based on sex. Then apply our foreign political policy how to “seek common ground while reserving differences, set aside disputes” is the most urgent. Do not rush to prove themselves in a day or two. Beware of falling deeper and deeper. Slowly, the thick and thin is my advice. I would have liked to record a little, but I never thought I would have written quite a lot. I hope it will be helpful to newlyweds. I really hope that the romance of holding the hand of a son and growing old with a son can be realized in every lovers.