Based on your description, he is not only violent, but suspicious and controlling. I am not sure if he has a paranoid personality – which is usually very difficult to change. If he is constantly suspicious of you or wants to spy on you by looking through your phone, etc., then it is more likely that he has a paranoid personality. If it is simply a matter of domestic abuse, all I can say is that some people will change, I treated a man who beat his wife for 18 years and he has since changed, but there are also men who have been beating their wives all their lives, unless he has no strength. Your boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend?) How it would be, I can’t say for sure. Personally, if confronted with a male who has battered me, I would not risk my marriage or my life to help a man overcome his violent tendencies in the interest of protecting myself. In the case I treated, there were six sessions of psychotherapy, and the treatment of domestic violence depended on whether the man was self-reflective and wanted to change himself, not on how good I was. Psychotherapy is not a panacea, it is a result of cooperation between both parties. Whether your boyfriend can be cured or not depends largely on his determination. In your description, many of the basic characteristics of domestic violence are reflected. 1. brainwashing “He said he didn’t come up and hit anyone, it’s just that I pissed him off.” Because you love him, you are willing to believe his explanation. In fact, every domestic violence man is constantly brainwashing his woman, he makes her believe: I love you and when I hit you, it’s because you were wrong in the first place. And the truth is, no matter what kind of mistake a woman makes, a man can’t do it to her, and if he does, he’s responsible for it. 2, repentance and repeatedly Violent tendencies of men always cry afterwards, on their knees to repent, and even some people chopped to indicate the will, but next time everything is the same, all his performance is just to keep the woman around and continue to accept his torture. That is not true repentance. 3, controlling and paranoid He looked through your computer, check the friends you added, these actions are paranoid, do not trust you performance. Men who are domestically abusive usually have paranoid tendencies, and this seems to be present in your boyfriend. In conclusion, the treatment of domestic violence is not an optimistic issue, but also one that varies more among individuals. I cannot estimate how your boyfriend will be, and if he has thoughts of changing, I suggest you visit your local psychological clinic.