（Counselors and their clients are working alliances. If you type “counseling” into Baidu, the bottom of the page will show “Baidu found about 91,900,000 related results for you”, so I’m sure there is an answer you want in this sea of 90 million information. At this moment, I am just talking to you as a general counselor, hoping to clarify a little and dispel some of your misconceptions about counseling. You may ask: Does doing counseling mean that you are psychologically ill and have to seek medical attention and medication? There are several concepts that have been confused with this question alone. Anyone, at some stage, may encounter some aspects (such as schooling, marriage, career development, interpersonal relationships, parent-child education, self-awareness, etc.), frustration or blow, resulting in the corresponding confusion, trouble and pain. All kinds of negative emotions cloaked in a jacket called “stress”, grabbing your physical and mental health, making you feel frustrated, bored, irritable, tired, not free, loss of energy and creativity, eating and sleeping are affected, and, for a long time, no improvement. Then, maybe you need to talk to a counselor. If these conditions do not interfere with normal social functioning, if you are consistent with your subjectivity and objectivity, and if you have a well-balanced personality, please do not say that you are “psychologically ill”. This is because all of us can have these conditions, which are called “general psychological problems”. Usually, after understanding the situation and reaching a consultation agreement with you, the counselor will use the methods he/she has learned (completion therapy, Sativa Systemic Transformational Therapy, Systemic Alignment Method, Brief and Positive Mind-Body Therapy, Psychoanalytic Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Humanistic Therapy, etc.) to consult with you. Counselors do not have prescriptive authority to prescribe medication. If, for example, a person has developed symptoms such as hallucinations, delusions, delusions, erratic crying and laughing, strange behavior, and severe degeneration of social functions, this may be a real psychological disorder or schizophrenia and must be treated in a hospital as soon as possible, or else it is dangerous. The psychologist or psychiatrist has prescriptive authority and will supplement the treatment with medication. The diagnosis of whether it is a general psychological problem, a psychological disorder or a mental illness is defined according to the Chinese Classification and Diagnostic Criteria for Mental Disorders, 3rd Edition (CCMD-3 for short). Did you notice that I said earlier that “everyone can have general psychological problems”? Yes, everyone, including counselors and psychiatrists themselves. Therefore, you don’t have to equate counseling with a “family scandal” at all. In other words: a cold can be treated or not, depending on the subjective will, the degree of distress, and the development of the disease; the same is true for general psychological problems. No one can guarantee that they will be immune for life; the same is true for general psychological problems. Colds, too neglected, may lead to more serious diseases such as pneumonia and myocarditis; general psychological problems, too. You see what I’m trying to say, right? Okay, so let’s talk about what counseling is all about and how it has steps, contents and forms. When a visitor comes to me with a nagging problem, behind the tears, I see your courage to seek change; underneath the confusion, I hear your answers waiting to be unlocked; and in all your disappointments, I find your motivation to grow. To you, I do have respect! The first time I communicate with you, I have to understand your situation in detail and see if we are suitable to establish a consultation relationship. If not, please don’t be discouraged and suggest continuing to look for a counselor who will be more helpful to your unique situation (you can definitely find one); if so, we will establish together what the goal of the consultation is? What is the format of the consultation (voice over internet, telephone, in-person)? Length and frequency of consultation? Payment method? What are the important points? It is important to note that I will follow the professional conduct of the counselor and promise to keep your privacy confidential. In the subsequent sessions, communication will deepen as the trusting relationship grows. We will not only dissect the causes of your problems, but also uncover resources that will be useful to you and facilitate further exploration of your true self’s personality, needs, and direction. ”Authentic Self” ? I paused for a long time writing this …… There are three aphorisms inscribed on the temple of Apollo, the most famous being the words of Socrates: Know yourself (know thyself)! According to legend, the god Delphi prophesied that Socrates was the wisest man in Greece and that if you had a question, ask him. The inhabitants of Athens were convinced of this. When Socrates heard about it, he was confused: “Am I really the wisest man in Greece? What do I know more than others?” Suddenly, he understood – I know I am ignorant, and this is what makes me wiser than everyone else. Looking at the ancient East, Lao Tzu also mentioned in the Tao Te Ching that the one who knows others is wise and the one who knows himself is wise. However, how hard it is to know and understand the real self. Sometimes we blame our negative emotions and many bad things on the external environment and other people’s factors. In the long run, the result is likely to be that we avoid the opportunity to look at our own inadequacies, shallowness and impatience through events such as conflicts, contradictions and failures, and at the same time, we miss the opportunity to reflect on, correct ourselves and continuously increase our inner strength …… Perhaps, when we are willing to explore inward, we will be surprised to find – “self-denial”, “low value”, “insecurity The “self denial”, “low value”, “insecurity”, “inexplicable anxiety in life”, and the “compulsive desire to be in control”, etc., are probably some of the things that we are not aware of, or occasionally aware of, but do not want us to admit, preventing us from We may not be aware of them, or we may be aware of them, but we do not want to admit them, which prevents us from knowing ourselves and from growing. Coming back to counseling, I would like to say that in our relationship, our attentive listening, understanding, and constant companionship are meant to give you a safe enough field to unload the layers of defenses you have formed over the years because you need to play a certain role. I know, that “mask” has made you, but also dragged you down. When you find that you are accepted and understood unconditionally in such a field, even if you admit your cowardice, fear, gloom and imperfection, I believe you will have more courage to move from Know yourself to Be yourself! During the counseling process, we also have to maintain an objective assessment of the effectiveness of the counseling, to check how the healing that was presented in the counseling room, extended and applied to your real life. Of course, we allow the entire process to remain as flexible as necessary, and the evaluation and adjustment will be cyclical. After a period of working together, where the issues that initially troubled you are transformed into opportunities to move you forward, and where there is more agreement between both parties on the achievement of the goals of the consultation, we will then say a proper goodbye. Yes, the initial meeting between you and me, and all the efforts after the meeting, is actually for the final separation. And this separation is for you to better depart and move forward. As your counselor, I deeply bless you …… Counseling as I understand it Dear visitor, you have found me because you need to talk, desire to understand, and expect to change. And I, by some kind of coincidence, happened to meet you. A thousand reds cry, ten thousand colors share the same sorrow, and the earth shares one tear. Your loneliness and depression are not the common voice of modern people; your pain and sorrow are experienced by others in other life events; your contradictions and struggles are the word “choice” that all people will face. All life is suffering, human nature is complex, who is more qualified than anyone else in front of your predicament, disdain it. I am not an expert, nor am I an authority. In the relationship you and I have built together, I have never for a moment thought that I am better than you in terms of ideology, education or life philosophy. I respect your unique experiences and values, your personal ideals and practice methods as much as I respect my own. If you are willing to explore more possibilities beyond your existing knowledge and experience, I will not hesitate to contribute my own small perspective. I know that many people come to me with the questions “Why?” and “What should I do?” and are eager for a direct, simple, and effective solution from their counselor. I don’t know how other colleagues respond, but in my case, I will tell you the truth – “I understand your eagerness to solve your problem. This situation has been around for some time, and I understand that you have too many bad feelings, and those bad emotions are firmly tied up in you, making you panic. No one knows what’s going on better than you, and only you know best what you want out of life. A counselor can work with you to explore the reasons behind the events, find out what the truth is that is causing you pain, and in the end it’s up to you what you want to do.” I don’t want you to overestimate the ability and role of a counselor, we all have to face various difficulties and dilemmas, and life it is not extraordinarily kind to counselors. So why go to counseling, you ask? When you encounter something you do not know what to do, in fact, the answer is hidden in your heart, but its voice is too faint, and other voices are too noisy, often invisible and inaudible, so you are doubly distressed. If those complicated feelings can speak, you can quietly listen to what it is trying to tell you …… counselor’s professional training in psychotherapy may provide you with some clues to find the answer, following these subtle but clear clues, you will eventually find your own answer –It may be a solution or a more objective interpretation of your situation. If you have other ways of finding your inner answers, religious or philosophical, you can use them all if they help you. There are different approaches, but they all lead to the same thing. When we establish a relationship, you and I are not the strong and the weak, not the teacher and the student – you are the teller of your life story, I am the non-judgmental listener; you are the traveler who struggles to get out of a difficult situation, I am the companion who explores alongside you; you are the blueprinter of a wonderful life, I am the admirer who is full of joy and admiration. You are the one who draws the blueprint of a wonderful life, and I am the one who admires it with joy. We understand and respect visitors with different values, and accompany them in exploring their inner psychological resources with professionalism and humanistic care, so that they can be happy with their true selves and discover their potential selves, and finally achieve physical and mental balance and health. This is what I personally understand by counseling. In my past counseling experiences, some visitors expressed their sincere gratitude and appreciation to me, and I likewise spoke from the bottom of my heart – “Thank you for trusting me, opening your heart to me, and allowing me to enter your inner world. We meet in the deepest part of life and humanity and walk this journey together. We have fought the storms along the way hand in hand and enjoyed the scenery along the way side by side, as if we were comrades in arms. You said that you have changed a lot because of my participation; I would like to say that it is seeing your change that makes me more convinced that growth is the eternal theme! It has nothing to do with age, gender, fame, social status, or the amount of wealth, but only about the courage within yourself.” By now, you may understand a little why I wrote such a letter. The road to growth is long and difficult. With the company of others, the world is wider. (slightly modified)