In families with many children, the eldest son or daughter often shows some specific psychological characteristics, such as: seemingly more understanding, obedient, stable, honest, excessively serious, deadly, inflexible, stubborn, and even disobedient, silent, while other children should be much more lively, or even more naughty, seemingly less understanding than the eldest, but they often have less serious psychological problems, on the contrary, as a child On the contrary, the oldest who knows how to behave when they are young, will grow up to have more depression, obsession, paranoia and other psychological problems than other children. Many parents believe that this is the child’s natural nature, since there are “easy to change, hard to change nature”, so we have to listen to God’s fate. The psychologist Adler found after research that the specific psychological characteristics of the eldest son or daughter are not congenital, but the result of a specific growth experience after birth: after the eldest son or daughter is born, it is inevitable that all family members all love and bet on the object, slowly after understanding, he will be accustomed to think that they enjoy the love of all members of the family is the natural thing to do, he is the center of everyone The center of attention, just like a little emperor. However, he would never have thought that this emperor is not for life, the second child was born, the situation completely changed, the little one became the center of attention, became the new emperor, but he was left out, became the emperor who stepped down. This sense of loss, adults are not always aware of, rarely noticed, they can only silently endure, repressed, accumulate, under the appearance of understanding, hidden by the loss, aggrieved bitterness and resentment, they will become no longer innocent and lively, but heavy hearted. This is not the whole problem, the greater pain is waiting for him: the little one is growing up, he will constantly have to compete with the oldest, everything has to be compared with the oldest, but, in fact, he can not compare with the oldest, the adults in order to make the little one happy, always deliberately ask the oldest to give way to the second, worse, the second is often under the pampering of adults, deliberately give the oldest bad, so that the oldest by adults This often plants the seeds of hostile aggression and revenge in the boss’s heart and becomes a source of complex psychological problems.