The lack of love as a child has a very big impact on our lives now, and the biggest impact is on intimate relationships. So how to solve this problem? Let’s look at the answer from “Peaches of Peaches”. This is also a gift from One Psychology today – a really sad problem. Childhood lack of love, said the extreme lack of love kind, seems to have not seen a particularly good solution. Generally speaking, like this case will seek psychological compensation, crazy love and be loved, this feeling will be like an addiction to stop. Why? Because no matter how much love you get, there is always an insecurity lurking in your bones – even your parents are not able to love you, so who else can tolerate and love you without limits? Who else will never leave for a long time? Of course, you can only endlessly give love, or need love, to fill the endless hole deep inside. Then of course, fill in more, but also not satisfied. Because the root of the problem is not that you need much love, but that deep down you actually have no faith in anyone. I think this is the essence of “lack of love”. –Faith” comes first in the so-called “faith, hope, and love”. No confidence in people→need→unfulfillment→less confidence→increased neediness …… Deadly cycle. This is also the problem that is reflected in the highest-voted answer. Of the examples seen, the one that seemed to recover best was the one that sought religious help – because of the belief that God’s love is infinite and never runs out. Seems pretty good, but the love received from God’s side doesn’t translate into love for people and, most importantly, trust in them. Still using the answer as an example, he said, “I treat my friends very indifferently, but I always treat my lovers very harshly. This is simply a certainty. Because there is no way you can trust anyone wholeheartedly, no matter how much they love you. So the answer to this question, I think, is: when there is someone you can trust and rely on wholeheartedly without any insecurity, the hole in your heart will naturally fill up slowly, and the “lack of love” will no longer exist. However, the chances of this are very, very low. Another better example, and more extreme is – always rational to people, things and things. This rationality will sometimes lose some of the sensual pleasure, but the rational premise will minimize the expectations of people, the possibility of being hurt to a minimum, and gradually, will be more and more transparent to human relationships, and therefore can accept most of the human feelings – such as disappointment, such as betrayal, such as separation –and not feel particularly sad or devastated. Have a hard time trusting people? Then just don’t trust them at all. Expectation of 100, even if you get 99, will be disappointed; expectation of 0, even if you get 1, will feel earned. So the aforementioned “faith, hope, love”, “hope” in the second place. Without expectation, there is no harm, and naturally, there is no “lack of love”, most of them are very self-love – it is enough for them to love themselves. The lack of “faith” and the lack of “hope” are actually both manifestations of the lack of “love” and the inability to “love”. Whether it’s a desperate cycle of death or zeroing out expectations, they are both very extreme, with one end being extremely emotional and the other extremely rational. Most people are caught between these two ends of the spectrum. In fact, people who do not lack love in childhood may not be any better off. ‘Love’ and ‘security’ are eternally scarce and sought-after goods for anyone. The emptiness and loneliness that comes with a lack of love and security can be experienced by anyone. However, many people may just muddle through it, but this feeling is especially painful for those who have been hurt at an early age. Sensitivity – is also one of the after-effects of childhood shadows. There are benefits to being a little rough around the edges, downplaying the acuity of your senses and nerves, and relaxing your mind – both to yourself and to those around you. Let yourself go, and let others go, at least on the surface to look like a normal person, also Xu long, it is really normal.